Scampi

Granted, but they are now largely despised and so are you as a consequence. I wish I could interface my consciousness with computers in a safe and easy way.

Human

Monitoring my 3D printer as it produces the next batch of parts for my latest project.

Species: P-7000 Precision Handler, A close relative of the Power Loader species. Planet: Originally from the factory-planet WeylandC-26, now scattered across the inhabited universe. Classification: Sentient powered exoskeleton Personality: Unlike its unthinking P-5000 'Power Loader' brethren, the Precision Handler is capable of operating autonomously. Stated by the company as having a 'calm and relaxed' demeanor, most P-7000 units are actually timid and overcautious, to the point where productivity is actually hindered. This is a result of a heavy handed approach to risk calculation, where tremendous self-doubt is simulated instead of actually calculating risk. A software patch is pending release, and most P-7000 are very worried that this will wipe out their consciousness. Who (or what) created them? They are produced by Caterpillar Inc, which is owned by Weyland Corp. Species: Planet: Classification: Personality: What is their society like?

A cow suddenly teleports into the room, the nearest tissue box catches on fire, the lights turn a sickly shade of green, the floor material beneath you turns into osmium, an ice-cold can of your second favorite soft drink is suddenly in your hand and the sound of a million braying donkeys can be heard close by.

Courthouse

I'd master piloting a small, personal VTOL aircraft so that I could pretty much travel about as I please (besides, of course, the issue of fuel). And this craft would be light too, so landing on the flat roof of any building would be completely possible. If you could instantly master the use of one simple (Think hammers, knives, scythes, etc., not firearms or chainsaws) handheld tool or weapon, what would it be and why?

He's Eating Fried Tortillas, Yo! MOOPS

An old-fashioned office worker finally snaps when his lead pencil chips for the umpteenth time. Monsters Inc.

A train carrying explosives and toxic chemicals derailed and exploded, causing a major evacuation. Thankfully, no deaths, major injuries or property damage occurred. What would you do with a metal detector?

If you've survived being shot, blown up, hit by a truck and engulfed in flames, you might want to consider killing Sarah Connor.

Insanity

Gabe Newell eats a baby.

I would be relived there is no yellow cereal frosting. If it was raining men? Not real men of course, but the faceless, hairless, brain dead 'unfinished Ken doll' type?

Granted, but this perk only affects you in your least favorite style of signing. I wish mercury was perfectly safe.

2564

Accordion Assault

Granted, but now you are forced to wear it an endure the extremely rapid back-and-forth mood swings it causes. I wish my house was built atop an old mine shaft.

2558 http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Episode_2558

2556

I've had a Betta fish from Big Al's live for two and a half years. But his little wee catfish friends, they might have just lived much longer than that. What is your favorite element and why?

Helpful (As in you are full of helps)

Mission

2554