Scampi

It's untethered! Atlas's umbilical cord has been cut! He even exits the 'womb' of Boston Dynamics...

I'm a senior member of the school robotics team. This year, last year and the year before, I near single-handedly built the robot used for the main competition event (it performed decently well) we participate in. It's a pretty proud moment for me to know that I can accomplish so much in this specific regard. I've gained quite a reputation because of this, I frequently 'mentor' other students and can pretty much help them with anything. They call me Tony Stark. Again, this is great. But what I want in addition to this is an equal in my field to work beside. Someone who doesn't look up to me, but looks horizontally. So far, little success. It's a fairly large school, surely someone there besides me has 'the knack', right? In my school, I'm an anomaly. I love it, and I hate it. Well, at least I'm in no danger of being evicted from my throne; and my sentry gun isn't even activated! And not only that, our Robotics club is dying. Limited funds, limited volunteer interest and extremely limited student interest are an ever-present counter to our growth and success. I can say for sure that without my presence, or the addition of someone like me, we would collapse. Many other schools of comparable population and funding have personnel, and equipment in quantity and quality that we can't hold a candle to. Some teams like this are even younger than we are. We are being held back by a waning interest in robotics and technology in the student and teacher body. Goddamn, even most of the people who want to be engineers can't even show up. They either 'don't have the time to break from studying', or they only see engineering as a way to convert their high math marks into high salaries. Even outside of the robotics team, I see this in the technological design and robotics tech classes. No one wants to build anything.

Yesterday my hip joint finally crapped out. One pop and now it feels as if it's rattling about with every step. It's acted up in the past, but this is just unacceptable. To add injury to injury, I probably have a very slight case of boxer's fracture. Well, anyway... Pain is weakness leaving the body!

Equip the Leash. I keep getting back-stabbed in Team Fortress 2. Help me!

Gloat Louder, Old Friend Timothy. SPAIS

Quickly, stab them with Epi-pens to wake them up! Once they're awake, arm them with cooking utensils and firearms. That way they can still cook you breakfast while engaging in the standoff with the police. Oh no! There is a 7 foot tall monster with a chainsaw and a sack of grenades groaning and pacing around in my backyard!

Stop Creating Egg Nog, Timothy! YAAFB

I'm also quite fond of my Logitech mouse, a G400s. Fits the hand, has just the right number of buttons and somehow resists the inevitable accumulation of grime. I've had it for a few years now, and I'm hoping this excellent service will continue well into the future.

Using a pair of chopsticks to eat a bowl full of croutons.

The real villain here is planned obsolescence. Or planned failure. This is the bane of my existence.

Granted, but it will be when you need it not to be. I wish I could control my movements at maximum speed with the same level as if they were slow.

9/10 Kinda like Stockholm syndrome, but with drinks.

Youtuber

Productive (Sort of. Well, you know...)

See that face? Give it something to think about. Colour faces onto paper plates and stick them all around the area behind you. Now make a silly face in the mirror. Which face is the face? Only you know, and all the other faces will be intimidated by this. You have now established dominance over Face Place. There's a RED Spy in the base!

Mountain

Granted, but in our haste to the stars we neglect safety protocols. I wish my damn 3d printer stopped jamming.

Take Advice, Don't Start Hoarding. MLOGI

Despite carefully monitoring the bed temperature, cleaning the extruder gear, eliminating as much friction as possible along the filament's path and even buying a new nozzle, the bloody printer still finds a way to jam. And halfway through the print, too.

Malfunction

I'd suddenly rotate my head 180 degrees, look you dead in the eye and say 'Right behind you." Suddenly, our view would fly around dramatically you'd realize you were in fact in front of me and you were the one who was rotating their head. *Inception noise* If you suddenly heard a broken fragment of someone's conversation coming from right next to you when you were alone in your house?

After a freak teleportation accident turns a scientist insane, non-solid and mostly invisible, he goes on a bank-robbing spree. Police dub him... Spectre. Antz

Granted, but now nothing happens. I wish I could sleep in the Accursed Farms barn for a night.

Pour coffee into the USB ports to alleviate the computer's tiredness. I've lost my left foot for the nineteenth time, and hiding the cadavers I get my replacement from is going to be more difficult now that my new roommate is a member of the Foot Police.

Six arms. Well, six arms if my brain is capable of operating them all with the same level control we have with our current two. If not, 3 heads. That way, a sniper would only have a 1/3 change of killing me with a single headshot! *edit* How could I forget the question? Would you rather have an ability to consume any human vice without any physical or mental repercussions, or be able to turn invulnerable for 8 seconds with a cooldown period of two months?