Doom Shepherd

Sports aren't arts. Sports are games. Like shuffleboard or tic-tac-toe or Battleship. If a child can do it, it doesn't command my respect. Also, being good at it doesn't deserve tens of millions of dollars.

Unless they bet their life savings on the outcome of the game, then it's ok to go car tipping... If you bet your life savings on a game, you're already a contender for a Darwin Award.

, Karl Marx,Sigmund Freud, Albert Einstein were addicts and they all cared. [citation needed.] I can find no evidence of any claim that Einstein was ever addicted to anything. Marx was a mooch who turned his unsustainable lifestyle into an unsustainable economic theory. The less said about Freud the better.

Why is Greece broke? Well, 6 weeks paid vacation every year and retiring at 53 with 80% benefits MIGHT have something to do with it.

What if the zombies managed to break it? Then you release Saxton Hale.

And you're the "laid-back" one?? Note: the Sons of Norton do NOT condone the torture of animals. Just people. That's an official position statement. See, animals don't know right from wrong, so it's impossible for them to "know better than to have done that." As for those peope who like to pretend they're animals... that has to be judged on a case-by-case basis, ever since the Catgirl General Amnesty of 2006.

Thanks! I'm just not up to the job of making a whole new party from scratch running on virtually the same platform as Doom Shepherd's though... Just vote for him, I'll be part of his party. Yes. (I mean, obviously I'm not gonna go for having a supporter also run against me, am I? You know what always happens in the movies... underling challenges leader, underling ends up in a pool of liquid-hot magma... ) Hmmm... Which to pick... So similar are our goals, but with me being far more laid back about it... I guess the 'Chief of Staff' one, except the title would have to be something more like "Head Nobody", or "Master of Whatever"... How about "King Nothing?" As my Chief of staff, your duties would be fairly straightforward: Crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their ponies. You have a free hand as to how to go about achieving those goals.

There are too many of this thread already.

Just so you know... that's already happened. For example, it seems clear that the Biblical story of Noah derived from the earlier stories of Unapishtim and Deucalion (Babylonian and Greek) Also, try "The Garden of Eden Myth: Its Pre-biblical Origin In Mesopotamian Myths" By Walter Mattfeld. Eden's garden is understood to be a recast of the gods' city-gardens in the Sumerian Edin, the floodplain of Lower Mesopotamia. This article is also relevant: http://www.bibleorigins.net/YahwehYawUgarit.html

Maybe that;s because your books haven't been updated since the 1960's? Maybe you should make an effort to acquire some more RECENT knowledge. Because YEAH, we've added to the sum of human knowledge since Einstein. We're rapidly closing in on the actual cause of the Big Bang. Clearly, you missed all of String, Brane, and M-theory. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introduction_to_M-theory (On the other hand, the God-believers haven't even begin to consider trying to explain where their superbeing came from. Which is kinda sad, because every comicbook hero needs an origin story.)

I am in favor of addicting the common people. It makes it much easier for non-addicts like me and the other Political and Corporate Overlords to control and manipulate them. High people don't march for stuff. They don't act up. They don't pay attention to what we're doing to them. They're laughably easy to manipulate. So yes, legalize it, legalize it all. So that I may finally have the Nation full of Anna Nicole Smiths I've always wanted. Smoke, Shoot, Snort, Consume, OBEY.

Why would I take a picture of it when all that was left was the equivalent of sand? Not all meteorite strikes leave large chunks behind. If it had, I would definitely still have the rock. The piece that hit was about the size of a marble, plenty large enough to kill since it was going around Mach 6... You may have made your DEX save, but you seriously botched your WIS check. Being one of the extremely few humans EVER to have been in the immediately vicinity of a meteorite strike would have made you FAMOUS. A marble sized bit of debris actually hitting the ground (after surviving the trip through the atmosphere) would have made a visible crater. Not to mention the fact that during atmospheric entry it would have blazed like a motherf***er. (Almost all the meteoroids we see burning up as shooting stars are tiny, like particles of dust, and if it was the size of a marble when it hit the ground it would have been MUCH larger when it hit atmosphere.)

This does not follow logically from anything that I've said. That would be harming me mentally if you didn't read. I didn't say "ban sports." I said I'm against them. Just as I'm against bad arguments like that, but I don't want the mods to ban you. No, I'd be satisfied if our schols just realized that academics and athletics should be separate things, and we shouldn't be cutting art and music programs while simultaneously building a new stadium for the football apes. (This actually happens.) Also, punching you is harming you physically. Harming you mentally would be repeatedly pointing out how daft it is to confuse the two, and making implications derived from that. Which I'm not actually doing. Or unleashing psychokinetic powers. But those don't exist.

Why, yes! Doom Shepherd is correct! I'm not sure you understand.

Am I within enough to apply? Didn't you nominate me? That would count. You could pick what office you'd prefer to hold. They're roughly equivalent to Chief of Staff, Department heads, and Activists, in that order. (Or Witch-King of Angmar, other Nazgul, and Orcs.) I don't have a VP, because would Sauron share power?

Your ponies will be assimiliated. They will adapt to serve us.

Why? There's no funnel clouds in that, so no tornadoes. Mamattus clouds are a very good Pre-tornado sign. About as good a warning as when Zork tells you "You are likely to be eaten by a Grue."

My Party will be known as the Sons of Norton. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton NOTE: Our party is currently in need of Junior members, to be assigned the titles of Executive Major Scalawag, Vice Minions, and Glorified Henchmen. Apply within. Safety not guaranteed. All your base are belong to us. Our mascot is Pete, the Peeved Puma. Our Motto: "Nex Bardibus." (from the Latin, "Death to the Stupid People.") Mission statement: Whereas, we propose to give our Presidency all the attention, gravity, and seriousness that it merits, upon our election: 1. We intend to declare the immediate prohoibition of all Pony pictures larger than 200x200 pixels. 2. We propose to form a Committee dedicated to the promotion of the creation of global holidays on the birthdays of Gordon Freeman (as soon as one can be determined) and Ross Scott. 3. We propose the declaration of BACON to be the official food of the forum. 4. We propose to require that all statements made regarding individual opinions on politics, religion, philosophy or sexuality be followed by the declaration "It's likely I have no idea what I'm talking about ." 5. + Rep for everyone! (who can demonstrate that they voted for me. Unless they want -Rep instead.) 6. There IS NO 6. 7. Other proposals to be added on an as-needed or as-I-think-they're-fun basis. 8. I am a ninja! 9. We propose that all FUTURE elections have a mandatory "None of the Above" option, where if that option recieves a majority of the votes, all parties must replace their candidates with other more palatable choices. This should happen in the "real" world, too. 10. Something, something, Dark Side... something, something, complete. Official Speech: "Friends, Accursed Farmers, and You People, lend me your cerebral cortexes. I need them for proccessing power. When, in the course of Human or Combine events, it becomes necessary for a people to elect themselves a leader, tradition has always dictated that the common people come together and choose the best possible candidate for the position... or at least the least objectionable. I'm here to ask you not to do that. I want you to vote for me instead. I know what you've heard; the rumors that I'm "evil," that I'm corrupt and bribable, and that my party intends to enslave you and your children, and put you to work creating legions of War Mecha with which I will eventually conquer the world. These rumors are LIES. Children make lousy slaves. You've read our party's positions, you've been creeped out by my avatar and threatened by our mascot, and you've now been reading this speech long enough for the encoded subliminal message within to work its subtle way into your subconscious. So you know what you have to do. And, quite frankly, if you've ever voted for anyone before... you've probably already done worse. Vote Sons of Norton. Vote Doom Shepherd. Or ELSE." This ad paid for by the Committee to Elect Doom Shepherd. Filmed live before a studio audience. Offer valid while supplies last. Your Mileage May Vary. Does not constitute a binding contract. Void where prohibited. Operators are standing by. Shut up and make me a sandwich.

*Yawns* Wait... WHAT?!??! Oh, Great Maker... FINE. Someone remind me what I'm supposed to do next.

So I'm curious... does Rule34 of Ponies UPSET Bronies, or titillate them? Because if it ends this freaking war, I am perfectly willing to go all Vorlon Planet-Killer on someone's ass. Choose wisely.

Did you know that the Earth isn't actually round? It's slightly flattened at the poles, and bulges slightly at the equator.

If there's a zombie plague, I'll probably have been responsible for it. I am the Shepherd of DOOM, after all. It has already begun. Behold my first victim...

I can raise either eyebrow. But then, I've been "raising an eyebrow in an extremely Spockish way" for years, so I've had time to practice and build up the ability on both sides. Left is marginally easier.

Very dark grey-almost black clouds, that seemed to be literally dripping out of the sky. Like, you ever see water on the ceiling just before it drips? Like that, but ginormous. Here. Much like this. But even uglier.