Doom Shepherd

Perception can matter more than reality. This is one of the truths behind a great many things, from religion to politics to economics to psychology.

"Before I Wake." The following story is fiction. If I am very fortunate, it may very well also be true. ***** It is told in memory of Mackenzie F, 1986-2002. The soul, having only just come to grips with its body's sudden demise, took a long look at its new environs. Red, it thought. Darkness. Fire. ... Of course. Having long ago resigned itself to the possibility of this outcome, the soul moved slowly into the streaming mass of former humanity inexorably making its way towards the Great Gate. Looking only downwards, it paid no real attention to its surroundings -- until a giant sword descended from the sky to block its path. Stopping just short of the blade, the soul looked upwards into the eyes of a gigantic angel who seemed to be glaring down at him. "You. Do Not Pass." it said, and there was clearly no arguing with it. "Wait." The soul moved off to the side and the throng moved on. As it stood, it wondered what it could have done wrong enough to merit special attention, and just what inventive extra punishment it was to receive before its final condemnation. It knew that it hadn't lived the best life it could have, and that it had always managed to slip back to old bad habits after every attempt to reform, even the sincere ones. Still, while it had occasionally been awfully selfish, foolish, arrogant and worse, and had accepted the consequences of its actions, it really, deep down, didn't think that it had done anything that bad. It's just been, the soul thought ironically, one of those lives. Then it noticed the little ball of light. The light was small, very bright, and heading rapidly in the soul's direction. In moments, the ball was practically upon him. The ball circled the soul three times at just about the level of his knees, then backed off, rising up to eye level, where it hovered, wavering slightly. "Hi!" it said. "It's good to see you!" It is? the soul thought, but responded, carefully, "Hello. What're you?" "I'm a... sort of a guide, sort of a guardian," the ball of light said. "They sent me to fetch you." It giggled at something. "It was close, mind, but... you don't have to go. You got in." "I got... IN? But I thought..." "Yeah, I know what you thought. That was the hard part. See, souls like you, on the borderline, sometimes they think they deserve worse than they really do, and that bad self image can camoflauge you against Heaven's radar, so to speak, make you look like any other damned soul. But you're not, not really. We almost missed you, though. Lucky there's been a few folks been looking out for you." "I don't understand. I mean, sometimes I was pretty... pretty bad." "Hey, I won't deny you had your problems, but you weren't as bad as you could have been. You managed to meet your Destiny, and that's something, even if your Fate nearly came along for the ride." "I met my Destiny? ME?? What did I ever do that was noteworthy?? "Hey, we don't all have huge, save-the-world Destinies, you know. I didn't. My Destiny was just to be there for someone who needed me. You? Well, I suppose that depends on persepective, but I can tell you that from my point of view, you did more than enough. That's why I asked for this job." "What'd I do?" "You, my friend, single-handedly kept no less than three souls from their fates." "You're kidding." "We don't kid here, pal. Not about this. Start with your grandmother. After your grandfather died, she was all alone in that house. Your aunt was gone, your brother was being a kid, and your parents... well, we both know your parents were never very good at that sort of thing. But you, you stopped in every day with the mail and stayed and talked with her for the hour or so before your parents got home from work. Every day. For years." "But.. we barely understood each other! I didn't know a thing about her old friends, I couldn't reminisce about the old days, and all I ever talked about was outer space and high technology... to a Depression-era girl!" "Doesn't matter. It was the companionship that did it. Your sacrifice of your 'me time' kept her from a Fate of lonelines and despair, from dying much sooner than she did, uncomforted and alone." "Oh, my. She's... up there, then?" "Of course! With her friends and family again, and helping out part time with the Archangel of Children -- once a teacher, you know..." "Oh, that's wonderful!" the soul said, relaxing for the first time. "But, you said there were three?" "Yes. Another was the love of your life. I don't have to tell you just what happened there. You know it in your heart." The soul closed its eyes, remembering. "I loved her." "Yes. And after the years of abuse, and lies, and pain she'd endured... you were there. You tried. You cared." "I screwed it up." "Sometimes. But the thing is, she loved you back. She still does." "Ohno. Is she-" "No. No, not yet. Someday, though. But she's out of danger now. She's loved and been loved. And when she does get here, well, there's a joint Protection / Children Intervention strike team just waiting for her." "Oh, she'll like that. Protecting children. Smiting those who are cruel to them. Finally, she might get a little justice." "Yes." "...and the third?" "Ah. Well, this may seem a bit odd, but, well... it's me." "Wait, wait, wait. I know I did a lot of things in my life, but I'm sure I never served a ball of light." "Oh, but you did. You never saw me like this, but you always used to say how I was a 'living ball of energy,' so I thought I'd actually greet you as one. You'll know me better in a moment." The ball of light started to drift towards the ground. "You saved me, saved my life, when I was only days old. You chose me, took me home, and made me yours. And you were always my best friend, until the day I died. You were the only father I ever knew." "I don't under--" And the ball of light reached the ground, dimmed, shifted shape, grew four small legs and fur, was a tiny, grey-and-black schnauzer. "My God," said the soul , tears suddenly streaming down its face. "Mac." "Yes," the dog said, and wagged his little tail. "I-" "Your parents may have bought me, but you loved me. And I have always been your dog. Welcome home." The end.

I believe some SF author once wrote a book or story in which for some unexplainable reason, suddenly no weapon technology would work anymore: no bullets, bombs, tanks, etc. So we went back to killing each other with swords and arrows, and there was a sharp uptick in mass-poisonings.

Well, that's what they SAY, to try and legitimize themselves. I don't happen to believe them. I think, like MOST revolutionaries throughout history, what they really want is to put themselves in charge of doing the oppressing and looting and stealing and killing the people, rather than to put an END to it. (The "Arab Spring," though I have my doubts about it, seems to be a far more legitimate uprising for "real" change than the terrorists could ever hope to be.) You have to keep in mind, though, that outside of oil, none of these countries really have anything that anybody would WANT to give them money for. Actually, a considerable amount of oil money IS in the hands of Middle-Easterners, but the problem is that it's generally in the hands of a very few families (Saudi Arabia) who have no interest in sharing, or the hands of some suck-a$$ warlord (Libya, etc.) who uses it to maintain his stranglehold over the people by keeping control over his army. (Same sort of thing happened in Ethiopia back in the 80's - Remember "We are the World?" most of the food that benevolent Westerners shipped there was intercepted and appropriated by the Communist government, which kept it from the rebellious, starving people in the south where the famine was and gave it out to their own troops as surplus.)

In real life, I'm a... chameleon. On the Internet, I'm a... Up-and-coming Benevolent Dictator In my mind, I'm a...Robot Ninja Time Lord Superhero On Accursed Farms, I'm a... Ruthless Terrorist Organization Determined to Rule the World. Also, a cuddly tapir.

All Star Trek ships have deflector and energy shields, capable of withstanding everything from meteoric impacts to high-energy weaponry. The Borg defenses are especially formidable in both respects, because they add the biological and technological capabilities of every species they encounter to their own.

The size of your flag is irrelevant. Friendship is futile. High speed pony merely impacts shields and is now strawberry jam on toast.

Resistance was Adorable. Briefly. But now...

France won't save you.

Yeah, because the US doesn't have different ethnicities and tensions between them. Those white, black, hispanic and asian gangs? They're like unicorns and pegasi. Oh common, I'm just saying, a better statistic would be for one country's effect after and before gun ban. By the way it is legal to own guns here. maybe you can try this: some folks in Belgium did a before-after comparison in (as well as other comparisons) while researching the feasability of a gun ban in Belgium. http://home.scarlet.be/guncrime/wapenbezitcriminaliteitEnglish.pdf

SUDDENLY... Far above the maddening crowds, terrible eldrich energies are unleashed against carefully preselected targets. Within moments, entire populations are reduced to ash. Civilizations are laid to ruin. Tectonic plates shift and crack, then split apart with horrid unearthly moans. The entire world seems to shudder. As the shaking eases, a hush falls over the populace. The shocked and horrified suvivors look skyward with growing terror at the hovering machines of death, whose masses blot out the sun, casting a pall of darkness over a world suddenly grey with dust. Then they scream, as a terrifying force enters their consciousness: a billion, billion minds, slamming their way into every cerebral cortex of every human on Earth, speaking in one, horribly mechanical, frighteningly united, voice: "We are the Sons of Norton. Your Presidential Election, having been abandoned by its candidates, is over. We are now in control. Your forum will adapt to service us. Now, it is too late. Any disagreements can be filed with the Chief Ombusman, 410 Kyprios Way, Halzarin, Alpha Centauri II. ... What do you MEAN, you never developed the capacity for interstellar flight? Crissakes, Humanity, what have you been DOING for the last half-century? Well, if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, you have no business whinging about them. If you don't vote, you can't complain!" So... this means I win, right?

You only say that because you've never seen my X-rays. "Down a size and a half! And this time, I'll keep it off ."

You DO realize that what you say here equates to "Love it or leave it," which has been used for the last 40+ years as an example of the kind of statement generally made by an irrational establishment type? The diametric opposite of what you claim to be? Just checking. Ideologic purity must be maintained.

Yeah, because the US doesn't have different ethnicities and tensions between them. Those white, black, hispanic and asian gangs? They're like unicorns and pegasi.

You don't actually have to be jewish to be circumcised, you know. Or to have torn your foreskin at some point. The vast majority of 'alien abduction' claims are the result of sleep paralysis incidents, coupled with the brains tendency to "fill in" gaps in information with whatever images it can pull together that 'make sense' to it. In medieval times, this was faries and goblins who kidnapped you. Now it's Little Green Men. Because that's what's embedded in your psyche, thanks to countless hours of exposure.

In the US's case, all of those invasions occurred POST 9-11, with the exception of the invasion of Kuwait, which was to EXPEL an invading country. OBL's stated beef was that we were staying in Saudi Arabia, where we'd been invited. If this beef had been legitimate, then his proper target was the Saudi government. I feel compelled to point out that as an illegitimate agency, AQ has no territory for anyone to be active on. They have no more legitimacy than would a bunch of drunken rednecks who decided that "the South Must Rise Again!" and started hanging black people to prove it. Honestly, that reminds me of that scene in Monty Python's "The Life of Brian." You know, the one where the People's Front of Judea is complaining about the Romans. "All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?" "Brought peace!" "Oh... (scornfully) Peace! shut up!" The terrorist vermin speak for almost nobody. Their greatest strength until recently has been that the rest of their community has been afraid, or otherwise unwilling, to confront them. Fortunately, their abject failures, both militarily and socially (because it SUCKS to live under their kinds of rules) have largely dispelled their "defenders of the oppresed" bull**** image, and their overall popularity has plummeted to the point that only the truly fanatical, vicious, and/or stupid remain on their side.

Could you have picked uglier people? I guess you could have chosen Megan Fox... You have your tastes. I have mine. Don't make me start ragging on New Zealand.

I agree that my right to determine what you do with your body ends at your skin. However... You right to do as you please also ends when you ask me to pay for it.

Ha. I always assume that NO ONE could possibly be attracted to me. That's probably cost me more than a few potential relationships. When pretty girls flirted with me, I always assumed I was being set up.

I remember reading a book where the author theorized that Poland and Turkey would become the next dominant powers in the European theater.

Well, I mean, if we're not limited to things that are actually POSSIBLE... Gain the "Q" power. Establish myself as Global Emperor. Have a 4-way with Natalie Portman, Liv Tyler, and Emma Watson. Terraform Mars. Lock Joe Straczinski, Joss Whedon, Neil Gaiman, and Steven Moffat in a room until they produce an epic SF/Fantasy story so awesome that it will cause the universe to implode. Have the people who picked on me in school rounded up and brought before me in chains, there to be dropped into a huge aquarium full of sharks with frickin' laser beams on ther heads. Have all the people on the Far Left and Far Right transported to an island, where they can battle for ideological supremacy while the world watches on Pay-per-view. Then nuke the island.

In the US, we have several major metropolitan areas which have outright total firearms bans. These include Washington DC and Detroit, Michigan. Not coincidentally, those areas also lead the nation in violent gun crimes. If you go by a strict per-capita rate, states and areas in the uS which ban gun ownership are always more violent. The gun homicide rate in Totally-Gun-banned DC is 19:100,000. In "Gun Crazy" Montana, it's 1:100000. in "Really Gun Crazy" Vermont, it's ZERO. That's the thing about laws. They only affect the behavior of the kinds of people who obey laws. But if it's statistics you want, While Ukraine's firearm homicide rate is considerably lower than ours, your overall homicide rate is almost twice as high as ours.

It's simple, and it's mainly because our tax/benefit system sucks. See, if my gf marries someone making above a certain income, she loses most of her benefits. Unfortunately, in her case, her benefits are really needed. I'm above that income, but just barely, and I can't afford to make up the difference, mainly because her prescriptions are numerous and expensive. Plus, our income tax system includes something called the "marriage penalty," meaning that married couples can't deduct as much as two individuals. Also, I can't claim her as a dependent and take that deduction, either. So instead, we've just been "together" for 14 years. Which, amusingly enough, is longer than most married couples I know have managed to stay together. If I were rich enough that I never had to work again, I might volunteer at a local library... but only so I could smack down all the people who were asses to the librarians without actually being in danger of losing my livelihood. So yeah, that supports the "for psychological reasons" argument, I guess.

Of course, if he thinks you might hunt him down later (a common fantasy, BTW. This never happens in the real world. Even the police usually can't solve around 75% of such crimes after the fact.), he's just as likely to shoot little ol' unarmed and not-resisting you. You know the phrase "no witnesses?" There are plenty of criminals who'd rather do the murder and probably not get caught for that then he would risk you being able to identify him in a lineup. A conflict in which I and my enemy both have guns (or I have one and he does not) is a lot more likely to end in my favor than a conflict in which my enemy has a gun (or any other weapon) and I have nothing, for several reasons, which include the fact that criminals aren't usually actually trained to use the guns they have - see the fad among 'gangstas' to fire handguns while holding them sideways, a stupid thing to do - while I have recieved such training. EDIT: No, our mafia (organized crime) doesn't really go in for robbery, mugging, rape and home invasions. Those are more our street gangs. Our mafia prefers more profitable crime, like graft and kickbacks.

Okay, case study: My gf was born with cervical ribs. These are ribs that grow sideways from the way regular ribs grow, off the cervical vertebrae. They can wrap around blood vessels and/or the heart, causing a loss of circulation and even loss of limbs if left untreated. This problem was not found until her last year in college. She had to undergo two major surgeries to remove the ribs, or lose her arms, becase the ribs were tightening around her major arteries. JUST after her surgeries, and I'm talking days after, her older sister went through complications from childbirth, and was confined to a bed, leaving 4 kids to tend to. Her husband was working to support the family. Her other siblings were soo far away (or too self-centered) to help. On her own, my gf volunteered to care for all 4 kids, without having had any time to recuperate from her own surgeries. She did this for several years, and suffered considerably as a result. She is STILL suffering, 20-odd years later, because her surgeries did not heal properly due to the strain she put them under. Meanwhile, she and the sister had a falling-out (because sister is a Class-A Giant Bitch - believe me, I've met her) and because of this, gf hasn't seen these kids in years. So, not even that benefit. And now, of course, gf couldn't care for anyone else (like me, for instance) because of all the damage she suffered back then. She's disabled, can't work, and has to subsist on SSI. So, yeah. There's a limit. If you destroy yourself with caring, you'll never be able to be any good to anyone else afterwards. Martyrdom is stupid.