meffer5

so should I transfer this over and wait for this thread to get locked or what?

ah I did not see that ha you responded quite fast (as I was typing mah story thing up)

Ill put an example from my life up here: I am lonely to the extreme here and here is what caused it. my girlfriend (no longer however) was the secret part of my life that kept me sane. well that ended one day with one statement "hey my visa expired im getting deported to England tomorrow" to which my response was "your British?". well Skype kept it alive across the ocean until she turned into slutzilla. she Skyped me (drunk she was) one night while she was doing some dude from down the hall. yeah. well I shared a lot of my life with her (although she and I were the only ones aware of our relationship since my family would meddle if they found out). There be an example of the kind of thing you can put on this thread. (and yes this did happen and yes it still screwing with me to this day)

I haven't seen this anywhere else so I might as well make it here. Use this thread to tell your stories on those days when your just having a bad time, when you have an issue or if you just need to put your thoughts somewhere. and If you are up to it respond to the postings of others. I only ask that you think about what you wrote before you post. and consider your responses if you make any (try to avoid being insensitive). And remember that you are not obligated to respond to anything others post, If you have no valid response then we understand why you didn't post.

well today I just got one weird message in ye old snail mail.... I am requested to be a sperm doner. funny thing is that sperm donation is a much bigger time commitment than blood donation. and I cant make that commitment, (5 weeks of qualification then at least 6 months to a year of weekly donations).

hey you can still donate it to science!

What I meant is I cant go from brain to hand with it. I see what I want to make in my mind but I simply cant translate that onto paper

well music definitely helps. (fun fact most of this stuff started popping up after my severe concussion) as does art in any form, I consume art, books, movies, music, games, etc with vigor. it quite literally keeps me sane. while playing a game/reading a book, literally lose myself in the universe of it. I have to do this cause I cant create art (too shaky) and i cant make music (played violin and lost that ability with the concussion). This however advances my social anxiety a bit. I find myself getting angry at people for talking to me while I was listening to music.I dont get out much and the social anxiety (for me anyways) is worse with people I know. funny bit: Ive been teaching at a leadership seminar every year for 5 years now.

yep I got the same advise but I also got some pill form ones as well (they were really hard to find). although the antibiotics they gave me killed a lot more than bacteria (im not going into detail for your own sakes).

well I do agree treating the cause is better, mine cant be treated and the meds brought my grades up out of the crapper. the only thing I have left when the become ineffective is just to deal with it. (Ive been working on it by trying some self-relaxation therapy on school breaks and try to see how I do without medication. I do ok except I become hyper-sensitive to sound and light and just a bit irritable but I will just have to deal with it. Also the crazy person with the anti-medication stuff was the guy at the coffee house who saw me take my meds after getting my drink. and one more thing to add, Are you guys aware of shrinking amount of time we have of effective antibiotics? Some diseases like MRSA (staph infection unaffected by common antibiotics). I caught it and the stuff they gave me for it... well lets just say I was unable to consume dairy for about a year afterwards since my digestive system was just plain destroyed by it. (note this is because MRSA is dangerous and needs super-antibiotics the size of horse pills). Anyone know of new methods we have of either replacing or prolonging our antibiotics?

as many of you know I am on meds due to the fact I am a little crazy. I actually got harassed today for "putting the government's poison into my body" and it started me wondering, How do you guys feel about medications? or alternative medicine? I myself am in favor of both conventional and alternative medicine (whatever works basically) and I currently take pills for my ADD/ADHD and whatever other unspecified psychoses I have (social anxiety and so forth). The pills themselves are basically a controlled version of methamphetamine that lets me keep my teeth (yay a FM reference!!!). Only drawback is that I can feel myself becoming dependent on them as they also become less and less effective. Im also at the maximum dosage they can safely give anyone (80 mg, up from 10 when I started). And sadly there is no medication effective enough to switch me to when i lose myself again. caffeine helps but only for a little while. so its gonna suck going to college.

You have to opt in in the US when you get your drivers license. it is not chosen by default, you have to actively select it. And it basically puts a little heart on my license that means if I am pronounced dead then my organs can be grabbed immediately after death and transplanted or stored quickly (to preserve freshness ) although for my body to be donated to science I would have to state so in a will (or other official "If I die" document)

I just got back from donating blood today and I wondered how many of you donate blood and also how many of you are organ donors. Also your opinion on organ donation/ blood donation. I am an organ donor (for those who dont know, that means that if I die all my usable organs are removed and given to people who need them) I also want my body given to science or med students when I die.

so this is another time where the media wants to blame everything else for this but wont even consider that this guy was just a nut-job. Im sorry but all sorts of people have stressful lives and trauma and they dont go out and do this crap. (im not saying that his mom has nothing to do with this but the act of mass shooting is irrational for anyone, no matter what) also how long until a newsgroup decides to blame violent media for this?

Connecticut school shooting claims nearly 30 lives http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/14/us/connecticut-school-shooting/index.html?hpt=hp_inthenews God dammit... that all I have to say about this.

The guy was constantly harassing me, messaging me and sending texts (god knows how he got my number) so perhaps it was more that then stalking... and I also observe those around me and don't get involved much at all. Unless I forget to take my crazy pills I probably say less than 20 words in a day. well... except on the internet. (hmm internet is good for people with social anxiety like me... I will use that in my research paper.)

just remember that almost any username is great as long as it has something behind it. kinda like mine... meffer4/meffer5 makes no sense unless I explain I created it while under the influence of powerful anesthetics for a head injury.

Is it just my time to do this or what? again yesterday with a 911 call. this time someone was driving like a jerk and slid on the ice by the Starbucks I was leaving and went over the sidewalk, over the retaining border and slid down into the greenbelt area. luckily they were caught by the thinnest of barbed-wire fences halfway down the hill. They were in a jeep as well so I have no idea how it help that kind of weight. they were all fine and I once again could not help safely. I dont feel as guilty this time since I was driving with my niece and nephew and there is no way I am going to leave them in the car. Also I would like to thank the inventor of the anti-lock-braking system in cars as today they saved me when I started sliding on black ice towards an intersection. I guess I must be making up for the number of times that 911 has been called to save me...

I am strait and I am good with all of it! all except for the guy I had stalking me for 3 years... but I dident let one weirdo make me think all other sexualitys are strange. they are just people who need the love and I dont give a damn where the love comes from as long as everyone has some. only problematic sexual behaviors I see are the predatory ones, manipulative ones and incest.

thanks for all this. Ive just had so much training for this type of situation that i feel obligated to help with everything. Also I seem to feel responsible for everyone around me and I may need to tone that down a bit. and as always I say thank you community forum and thank you internet for keeping me from isolating myself (I would probably Drive myself crazy) and here is a quote i found a while back that once again proves to be true. (notice the source of the quote) "I am a child of the internet and one thing I need never fear is isolation"-me

Yesterday while on my way home I came around a corner and say an injured woman lying in the road (I think she was hit by a car while biking). I stopped and called 911 and gave the location and what I could make out from where I was. I was on the far side of this road and could not get to the victim safely. nor could I give more information then location and the fact someone was hurt. I did not see the accident, so they did not need a statement from me and I stayed until she was in the hands of the paramedics. other bystanders also were able to get to her immediately. I had to move on and went home since I was blocking traffic. But for some reason I cant shake a feeling of regret and almost guilt. I am ashamed that I was not able to help her. I didn't know her I did not even know what happened. I could not get to her location without being hit by a car myself. yet I keep finding myself sitting alone, shaking, and feeling terrible about not being able to do more. Is this normal? or is this part of my "unique" mental state? ( ive had a severe concussion plus ive been in 2 car wrecks as well) I only ask since I have received zero sympathy/empathy and plus its even better that im now depressed on my birthday. (don't feel obligated to respond since im just venting here because the holiday season seems to take precedence in the minds of everyone around me)

I have just purchased this laptop and other bits of hardware and software as well. If all goes well I will begin doing interviews sometime this month or early next year. I will be showcasing this site as well as content and sessions of gameplay both on PC and Xbox. I will send a schedule of when i will be online recording so if you want to pop in and add to the conversation you can.

thanks for the interest. I just finished the 4th iteration of the letter of intent as the board is unfamiliar with the internet (exactly the point of this whole project) and does not quite understand what im trying to do. hopefully if i get it approved tomorrow I can begin production.

only thing is, if I abandon this then I don't graduate. so ill start interviewing as soon as I get approved and get a mentor to sponsor me. sometime soon hopefully.

the time-frame on this project is from basically now to some time in late April or very early May.