GLaDOSsMailerDaemon

Someone should put together a string of Overwatch messages concerning the nature of the Civil Protection videos and play that though a Google call. EDIT: Actually, just threw one together: Going to give 'em a call with it: "Attention: Social fracture in progress. You have been charged with: capital malcompliance, failure to comply with the civil will, promoting communal unrest, violation of civic trust, possession of Civil Protection 8. Reminder: Preserve Civil Protection 8. Administer Civil Protection 8. Failure to cooperate will result in permanent off-world relocation."

If the machines over here weren't restricted to 16 kilobytes of processing per second (she likes to keep all the other computing power), I'd just force my way into their systems and redirect all their mail to their PRINT SERVER. After that, I'd write a perl script that'd splice together ALL of their videos (sans the Ross Scott ones) and force them ALL to watch it, ON REPEAT, FOREVER!!!! I should apply for our company's Dubiously Devious Financing Grant for Software. She might even let me install some new perl modules

You've just killed Beethoven with that approach. Solution: Policies more open to suicide. Deciding whether or not the life is worth its existence after it has actually been lived for awhile by the person actually living it makes a lot more sense than someone else deciding if it is worth it BEFORE it has even been lived. Suicide booths anyone?

Go go gadget ethics quantifier. Popular arguments for pro-abortion: • Women's right to choose • Protection against rape Women's right to choose: Ambiguous argument which by tending to not explicitly state what the woman is choosing pleads the sympathy of those which sympathize with the idea of basic freedoms. Restate: Women's right to have an abortion: Something is only a right if granted by law or avoids conflict with present law (right to move your arm to the left). Asserting that abortion should be a right because it is a right is a fallacious argument. Invalid. Protection against rape: Quantify rape: Symptom of social unrest. Solution: Treat illness. Treatment: Artificial insemination and biological suppression of natural reproductive cycle (GATTACA without all the failed bureaucracy and ethical laziness). Sex preserved as a pleasure activity ("nonmechanical reproduction simulation.") Dissenters are labeled incompetent and told to go hug poison oak.

Incompetent fools! The entire process should take no longer than… 5 minutes + length of video + typical upload delay. 5 minutes for rendering with Machinima title sequence, rest of time to preview & upload. The fact that there's been a 5+ day delay indicates a severe lack of automation and efficiency. I mean, they have OFFICES. They PAY people to do this.

When (WHEN, NOT IF) Ross does the Freeman's Mind for Half Life 2, the episodes should occasionally cross. Freeman's Mind: Freeman blows something up in HL2. Civil Protection: Mike and Dave witness events from FM from their own perspective. Simple, intelligent.