Back on topic guys.
Looked at the candy rack at the 7 Eleven. Take 5 on sale. My thought process:
*Stares*
Ugh, pretzels are disgusting, but then it IS cheaper than the Heath bar and I'm running low on funds. Well they both have chocolate, which is what I'm really in the mood for. But then I can actually Eat the rest of the Heath without looking like a disgusting fucktard and licking the pretzels clean and chucking them.
Guy at the register: "Umm, are you alright?"
Me: "Yea, this is just a really big life decision."
Register man, being a 7 11 employee, is inherently Indian so he looks on seeming very confused, obviously not getting my humor.
Back to thoughts:
Ahh Fuck it. I'll take the Heath and pay the extra dollar.
Register guy, obviously feeling obligated to say something after such an odd ordeal: Did you find everything alright?
Me: Yeah man. Thanks for being patient with me. I'm truly grateful. I just managed to beat back my inner demons and give my heart what it truly desires. Thanks.
Register Guy, looking very nervous: Umm... Here's your change. Have a good day.
Me: You too, man. You too.
*Leaves store
Afterthought: I really hope I don't come back on his shift again, cuz I doubt he'll forget me and I don't think I'll ever be able to improv like that again.