Freeman's reaction to the experimental weapons

R

Razor235

Well-known member
How would Freeman react to the experimental weapons? (Tau Cannon, Gluon Gun)

*Box explodes* WHAT THE FUCK? What was that? *Wall explodes from overcharge* Holy Shit! What the hell happened? Jesus that's a lot of blood. And- wait, what's this? Shouldn't it have been destroyed? Wait a second, is that Uranium-235? Holy Shit! I'm not touching that stuff! Well, it is a sweet gun, and the Uranium is contained, oh hell, I'm taking it. So this is a nuclear reactor? The NRC is already over us, between the waste and all of our reactors, and now we make a handheld version? ARE WE THAT STUPID? At least it can shoot through objects, that could come in handy. What did he say about overcharge? Oh, THAT. I better not press that button.

Sees Gluon Gun: What the- is that a fire hose? No, it can't be, we wouldn't invest in those. (mocking executive voice) Why would we need a fire hose? They're expensive! So I guess this slips on here, and- is that a firing range? Well, why not test this out? *kills aliens* What- did they just get disintegrated? Wow, this thing is neat. But it's going to be a pain in the ass to carry around, I mean, it's a friggin backpack! Not to mention it's ANOTHER nuclear reactor, I already have one of those, I don't need more. *Drops it*

 
*WALL EXPLODES* "WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Jesus Christ, that's a lot of blood! And what the fuck is this thing? Oh, shit, it's a Gauss gun! I made one of these when I was a kid! But mine was better, because it didn't fucking explode. Yeah it was pretty badass. It used uranium-235 and a couple of D-Batteries as power source and... wait.... a couple of D-batteries... THAT'S MY GUN!"

And for the other one: "I fell like ghostbuster with this thing!" *sees alien and disintegrates it* "WHO YA GONNA CALL!"

 
Snarks: "Go forth, my minions! MUA HAHAHAHAHAHA! OW! Hey! Attack them, not me dammit! I knew having loyal alien minions was too good to be true..."

 
I kinda hope and dread he makes some terrible BB Gun pun about the Hivehand.

(Because it's a gun that shoots bees in case you don't get it)

 
I'm confident that the collection of both the experimental weapons and things like the snarks will have suitably amusing reactions.
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"...Don't let it overcharge!!" "MUMBLE!" *BOOM*

"Oh shit! The place is comming down!"

(Misses gauss-gun)
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Like the shotgun, everybody was so amused ''OMSFG HE'S FINALLY GOING TO PICKUP THE SHOTGUN!!!!!!!''

He did like 3 episodes later, missing about 2 shotguns..

 
Hivehand: What's this? Oh, this is that bee gun those massive ass aliens were using... But it's pretty weak, I'll just stick to bullets and explosives for now...

 
He'd probably just go: Oh beam cannon that runs on uranium? I'm honestly not surprised anymore. This is Blackmesa, after all, if it doesn't make tax payers cry then we don't want anything to do with it.

Honestly by the time he gets to those weapons, he would have seen so much crap it won't even startle him anymore
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"Alright, how does this thing work? It looks like there's some sort of guidance system... I can figure this out, I mean, it's not rocket science. Well, technically it is, but that's still not as mentally taxing as theoretical physics. Although, rockets would be FAR more useful to me than theories right now..."

 
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