Fire Safety Tips (not serious)

[Magamis]

Here is some fire safety tips, if you ever encounter a fire in your local area or house.

1. Do a lot of panicing. The carbon dioxide that comes out of your mouth while panicing should extinguish the fire in no time. There must be a certain level of panic to extinguish certain fires. For example; for a small fire, "I'm somewhat concerned that they're going to make another Indiana Jones Movie." For a medium-sized fire, "I just watched the cable news channel!" For a large-sized fire, "Look up Mayan Calendar."

If you are on fire.

2. Stop: Next to your friend.

3. Drop'em with a swift firepunch

4. And roll all over them

Hope you find this information useful.

 

[Arby]

it is important to establish that what you are encountering is in fact fire and not, for example, an isolated singularity, a transdimensional telemarketing service, a woodchuck, or a sentient cloud attempting takeover of our world by nullifying the laws of physics.

Step 1) Visual Reference

Fire possesses a distinct visual appearence, which I am legally forbidden from displaying, but can assure you that bears no resemblance to any of the following:

and certainly not:

2) Temperature:

Fire requires a temperature of sufficient heat to exist. If it is not within that certain tolerance, what you have encountered cannot be fire.

The only possible method of confirmation is physical exposure. Results of direct exposure to fire should appear identical to this, WARNING the squeamish should look away, acquire a shovel, dig a ditch capable of covering their total body height, and die in said ditch:

Once it has been establish that you are certainly viewing fire, and not Morgan Freeman, proceed immediately to acquire as much of it as possible, failure to do so will result in death, in fact, if you have insufficient quantities of fire, you could already be dead. If you think you are dead, please note that this does not exempt you from our fee for this service announcement. Thank you.

 

[Blue]

Fire is caused by fire particles coming in contact with air.

If you blow on a fire, it disperses the particles away from the air with your breath, thus extringuishing it.

Therefore if fire particles are continuously poured onto a pre-existing fire, heat will be generated as long as the particles are provided, generating infinite heat and therefore energy.

 

[Alyxx Thorne]

Do not sit on fire. It is not pleasant. And if a fire asks you out for dinner, kindly deny its offer.

 

[J.C.]

Do not sit on fire. It is not pleasant.

If you encounter yourself in a situation where your ass is on fire, you've clearly not followed the above.

And if a fire asks you out for dinner, kindly deny its offer.

And should you choose to go ahead and have dinner, do not (I repeat, DO NOT) engage in coitus.

 

[Doom Shepherd]

Just so you know, the first post is not an original thought. It's lifted directly from a Red Vs. Blue "PSA."

 

[Lord Sinister]

Avoid all contact with water.

 

[Magamis]

At least someone figured it out, props to you Doom Shepherd.

 

[alphabetagamma]

If possible, douse yourself with any substances marked with this symbol

 

[Doom Shepherd]

At least someone figured it out, props to you Doom Shepherd.

+Rep, because it's RVB, my other favorite Machinima series.

 

[Jek Jek Roo]

Make sure the fire doesn't have a crowbar or any diffrent kind of weapon.

 

[Arby]

Make sure the fire doesn't have a crowbar or any diffrent kind of weapon.

If it does, kindly request where it has located this, as it will be useful when our MantisMen Overlords inspect your workstation.

 

[Magamis]

Flaming Crowbar