arrr! avast ye Bilge rats! how in Jones' depths do i use a keebored!!?
well, 'tis i smartly take a gander at the beauty of a forum this 'ere be!
Aye, i be the great Cap'n Ludwig of the vessel "Non-buoyant"!
arrg! belay your askin's! i'm not accepting new boatswains today! if however ye be experienced in powder monkeying ye may ask to join me crew!
if any of ye lubbers dare get on me bad side; ye shall meet the hempen halter and dance the hempen jig!
well i shall climb me Jacob's ladder and weigh anchor!! it's high time i brought me that horizon. Arr!