Joke Thread.

[Alyxx Thorne]

So there is this one hic family that has 9 kids, the parings went to the doctor to make it so they can't have any more kids. The doctor asks why after 9 kids are you doing this now? The parents replied "well we heard that 1 in 10 kids born in America is a Mexican, and we don't want to lern spanish

 

 

 

 

 

 

True story

Wooooow that was stupid.

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Stupid but true

[Brad]

Drunk guy stumbles past a redneck;

 

Drunk: *Hic*

Redneck: "Ey, whaddid eye doo to yew?!"

[Alyxx Thorne]

Drunk guy stumbles past a redneck;

 

Drunk: *Hic*

Redneck: "Ey, whaddid eye doo to yew?!"

O...kay?

[Scorpia]

Hick is a derogatory term for rednecks. so, when the drunk hiccuped, the redneck thought he was being insulted.

[Alyxx Thorne]

Ah... very dry joke.

[scott155]

[Qwerty3781122]

There are two men: one is without legs, the other has four legs.

 

"I have lost my legs in World War I"

"I have found them in World War II"

[BTGBullseye]

The best way to get a woman to have sex with you is to compliment her... Like, "Wow you're a fast runner, you almost got away."

[danielsangeo]

A way to shut down a corny pickup line:

 

Man: Did it hurt?

Woman: What?

Man: When you fell out of heaven?

Woman: Did you just call me Lucifer?!

 

A way to open it back up:

Man: Well, you do bring the light to my darkened heart.

[BTGBullseye]

What do you get when you cross a Rhinoceros with a Penguin?

 

Answer: Let's go get tacos.

[Doublenature]

I only have racist jokes, and I dont think they would be welcome here.

[BTGBullseye]

I only have racist jokes, and I dont think they would be welcome here.

The best black jokes I've ever heard were from a black guy... He was on the lookout for more.

The best Mexican jokes are made by Mexicans.

I guarantee that if people aren't idiots, they'll take the joke as intended, not as an insult.

 

OT: What do you call one Mexican on the moon? A problem. What do you call two mexicans on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all of the mexicans on the moon?

 

Problem solved.

 

I actually first heard that one from an illegal immigrant. (the irony is palpable)

[BTGBullseye]

I just couldn't wait to post this one, since I actually knew a kid that did this...

 

A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"

[Blightmare]

My favorite gay joke, ironically from Tumblr(where jokes aren't jokes):

 

"I'd never want gay parents because I don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of 'go ask your mother'"

[rairii]

Puns about geology are gneiss

[BTGBullseye]

What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale?

White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"

[danielsangeo]

Puns about geology are gneiss

 

Only stoners and metalheads like puns about geology.

[rairii]

Puns about geology are gneiss

 

Only stoners and metalheads like puns about geology.

 

Restricting that to two categories? It's a bit more tuff than that, such simplicity is not to be taken for granite.

[Epsilon]

Puns about geology are gneiss

 

Only stoners and metalheads like puns about geology.

 

Restricting that to two categories? It's a bit more tuff than that, such simplicity is not to be taken for granite.

 

I agree with your sediments, but maybe you should be a little more down-to-earth. It's fine; all people have their faults.

 

I hope these jokes don't fluorite over your head.