Joke Thread.

[Axeldeath]

Isn't 30 freezing in Fahrenheit or something?

[BDown]

Isn't 30 freezing in Fahrenheit or something?

 

Indeed, the freezing temp for water is 32°F, although that can be lowered by adding salt. So the real question is, how much salt was added to this 30°F water?

[Razor235]

Isn't 30 freezing in Fahrenheit or something?

 

Exactly. The ball falls faster through the 60° water because it can't fall through ice.

[scott155]

It'll fall faster through 212F water.

[Very7684]

So I am losing weight now, because my Docter told me I was borderline diabetic.......why do you have to say borderline like that? because I'm Mexican?.....can't you say almost?

[Blue]

People say the Bible doesn't have relevance.

It doesn't even talk about drugs!

Yes it does! In Acts it says Paul was stoned!

[Doublenature]

Two gay guys walk into a bar, the owner sees them, goes over there and says: "GET THE FUCK OUT!" Haha! Do you get it ?!

[Kirkreng]

No.

[J.C.]

There are two types of people in the universe, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data and....

[Koach]

this is a joke a friend told me on monday. you might considerer it bad.

 

-why are you so gloomy, jack?

-because... well... my little brother died... :,(

-Oh my! what happened to him?

-Well... you know you shouldn't open the fridge with naked feet, right

-yeah... so he...

-he was ran over by a truck.

[scott155]

That sounds like something Cyanide & Happiness would write.

[Koach]

mebbeh

[Razor235]

Long one, so settle in.

 

St. Peter had had a long day. A man walks up to him.

"I was out at the hardware store, when I became concerned that my wife had been seeing another man. I run up to our room, and there was a guy hanging from our balcony. I started pounding on his fingers, and he let go. He was still alive, though, so I threw my refrigerator off the balcony. I had a heart attack from all of this, and here I am."

"Why don't you come on into heaven and rest a bit."

 

Another man walks up.

"I was doing yoga on my balcony when I lost my balance and fell off. I managed to grab on to the railing. A man runs up and starts pounding on my fingers. I let go, but somehow survive the landing. ...must have been a refrigerator. Flying out of the sky."

"Well, come on in and rest"

 

A third man walks up.

"Ok, so I was standing naked in my refrigerator..."

[J.C.]

A biologist, an engineer and a mathematician were having coffee on the patio. Across the street they watched as two people walked into a house. A few minutes later, three people left the house and they started to discuss how that could've happened.

 

Biologist: The two people copulated, reproduced and three people left the house.

 

Engineer: That's wrong, our initial observation must have been erroneous.

 

Mathematician: You're both wrong. If another person enters the house, it will be empty again.

[scott155]

That joke.

------------

My head.

[Blightmare]

A biologist, an engineer and a mathematician were having coffee on the patio. Across the street they watched as two people walked into a house. A few minutes later, three people left the house and they started to discuss how that could've happened.

 

Biologist: The two people copulated, reproduced and three people left the house.

 

Engineer: That's wrong, our initial observation must have been erroneous.

 

Mathematician: You're both wrong. If another person enters the house, it will be empty again.

lol. Silly mathematician, that rule doesn't apply to real objects. XD

[Razor235]

A biologist, an engineer and a mathematician were having coffee on the patio. Across the street they watched as two people walked into a house. A few minutes later, three people left the house and they started to discuss how that could've happened.

 

Biologist: The two people copulated, reproduced and three people left the house.

 

Engineer: That's wrong, our initial observation must have been erroneous.

 

Mathematician: You're both wrong. If another person enters the house, it will be empty again.

 

LMFAO

[J.C.]

I got this from collegehumor.com: jokes you can tell your grandparents.

 

A man walks into a bar with an alligator under his arm.

“This is the world’s tamest alligator,” says the man, “and I’ll prove it.” He then throws a tennis ball under a table, and the alligator promptly fetches it.

“Anyone else want to try?” says the man.

“Sure,” says the bartender, “but please throw the ball on top of the table, as my knees are bad and I have trouble picking up objects from the floor.”

The two men discuss their various health problems for some time, and forget all about the alligator.

 

[Axeldeath]

-snip-

Edited January 7, 2012 by Guest (see edit history)

[Dr. Derpy Hooves Ph.D]

Edited quote: no Child pornography jokes directly or implied.

 

...

Why?