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Obliterating pennies. (I've got a vending machine that mistakes nickles for quarters in my neighborhood so I don't want people changing nickles on me.)

 

New curtains, or a new rug?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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Rug... My curtains are just fine the way they are. (non-existent)

 

A glass of tea, or a cup of coffee?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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COFFEE!

 

Coffee flavoured coffee, or not-coffee flavoured coffee?

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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Veggies yes.

 

Glasses or contacts? (If you don't need them, assume you suddenly do.)

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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I actually do need them for my right eye, but not seriously... (20/25 that just gets worse the further out you go) Glasses, but only if they look decent, and don't have any lens distortion.

 

Super gaming laptop, or mid-grade gaming desktop?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Russia... Fewer incidents of government-sponsored genocide.

 

Car or truck?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Russia... Fewer incidents of government-sponsored genocide.

 

I'm certain you have it backwards.

 

OT: Car.

 

Green eggs, or green ham?

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Using meta-materials I would change either to it's appropriate color, then eat the eggs.

 

Insanity, or insanity with less clothing?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Ummm, insanity? I don't exactly know what would happen if I just had less clothes.

 

Physical torture, or mental torture?

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Depends on the type of physical torture... If it's torture through overloading my pleasure centers (which is a type of torture, believe it or not) then physical, otherwise mental as it wouldn't do anything.

 

Digital freedom or digital safety? (they are mutually exclusive)

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Real...

 

War with or without nukes? (not the super-sized ones, just the few kiloton warheads for tactical use)

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Without. If the nukes are busted out that usually means either a full scale exchange is coming soon, and even if it didn't it basically allows every other WMD to be used and creates a fuck ton of civillian casualties by virtue of "collateral damage".

 

Being deprived of sleep or food?

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Sleep, I do some of my coolest work when I've been forced to stay up for days at a time.

 

A Golden Retriever, or a Basset Hound?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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Yes please? (I like almost all dogs that aren't little yipping pussies)

 

Reclining office chair, or regular recliner?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Less... That way when I make thorium-based nukes I'll... Wait, I'm not making nukes... The FBI can't arrest me now since I said that right?

 

Death or life in constant extreme torture?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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