Random thread

[Blightmare]

*wonders what the other 33 rules are.*

[Scorpia]

there's a comprehensive list on the internet. one sec...

 

http://ohinternet.com/Rules_of_the_Internet

 

there is actually 47 original ones but people add more so there's is actually like 300, this is, to the best of my knowledge, the original list.

Edited August 30, 2011 by Guest (see edit history)

[Blightmare]

oh joy.

[Dr. Derpy Hooves Ph.D]

RULE 34 STRIKES AGAIN. lol

That's not rule 34...

*wonders what the other 33 rules are.*

There's also rule 63

[Kirkreng]

I am surprised rule 34 isn't rule 69.

[Scorpia]

link up there^ there might be 63 official ones but i know there was 47 original ones..

[Blightmare]

Laws of anime.

 

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

 

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

 

 

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation

 

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

 

 

 

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

 

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

 

 

 

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

 

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

 

 

 

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

 

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

 

 

 

6. Law of Temporal Variability

 

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

 

 

 

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality

 

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

 

 

 

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality

 

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

 

 

 

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis

 

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

 

 

 

10. Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

 

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

 

11. Law of Inherent Combustability

 

Everything explodes. Everything.

 

*

 

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

*

 

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

 

 

 

 

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission

 

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

 

 

 

13. Law of Energetic Emission

 

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

 

 

 

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

 

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.

 

*

 

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

 

 

 

 

15. Law of Inexhaustability

 

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

 

 

 

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy

 

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)

 

Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

 

*

 

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

*

 

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

*

 

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

 

 

 

 

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

 

Minmei is a bimbo.

 

 

 

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

 

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

 

 

 

19. Law of Demonic Consistency

 

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

 

 

 

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability

 

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

 

 

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability

 

Tactical geniuses aren't....

 

 

 

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

 

People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

 

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

 

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

 

 

 

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism

 

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

 

*

 

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)

*

 

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

 

 

 

 

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality

 

 

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

 

 

 

26. Law of Feline Mutation

 

 

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

 

1. be female,

2. will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation,

3. and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

 

 

 

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower

 

 

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

 

 

 

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence

 

 

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

 

 

 

29. Law of Melee Luminescence

 

 

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

 

 

 

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

 

 

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

 

 

 

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

 

 

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

 

 

32. Law of Follicular Permanence

 

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

 

 

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics

 

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

 

 

 

34. Law of Probable Attire

 

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

 

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).

 

Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.

 

*

 

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

*

 

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

 

 

 

 

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence

 

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

 

 

 

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination

 

 

Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

 

1. The Hero/Leader

2. His girlfriend

3. His Best Friend/Rival

4. A Hulking Brute

5. A Dwarf/Kid

 

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:

 

1. Extreme Coolness

2. Amazing intelligence

3. Incredible Irritation

 

 

 

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

 

 

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

 

*

 

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

 

 

 

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission

 

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

 

 

39. Law of Inverse Attraction

 

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.

 

*

 

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

 

 

 

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination

 

 

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

 

 

41. Law of Xylolaceration

 

 

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

 

 

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

 

 

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

 

 

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia

 

There is no Law #43.

 

 

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation

 

 

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

 

 

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

 

 

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

 

 

 

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition

 

 

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

 

 

Law 47:Law of incompitent villainry (this applies to more than just anime)

 

Villains, no matter how villainous, will always, ALWAYS leave the hero only mostly dead thus leading to the villain's downfall.

 

EXCEPTIONS: Dragonball series; the dragonballs can bring people back to life and someone will always find a loophole.

Death Note: L was killed, but then avenged by Near.

 

Law 48: Law of increasing difficulty aka the "boss level syndrome"

 

Villains will always be more powerful than the last one the hero faced thus forcing the hero to either

A: grow to the next power level (super sayan 2,924.5, Gear second) or

B: learn a move or tenique that will leave the villain at a disadvantage (Mizu Luffy vs. sir crocodile(although crocodile won that fight, he lost the next one due to law 47), goku's kaio-ken) or

C: gian a weapon that will do the same as B

 

Law 49: Law of common weaknesses(also applies to more than just anime)

 

Villains always have two weaknesses:

1: they can always be defeated by "the power of friendship" and

2: their own ego always does them in in the end.

[superjchamma]

[Scorpia]

--massive funny list--

 

i've been waiting to use this thing

[Kirkreng]

--massive funny list--

 

i've been waiting to use this thing

What are you trying to say? Are we not funny?!

[Scorpia]

--massive funny list--

 

i've been waiting to use this thing

What are you trying to say? Are we not funny?!

 

no. i just got this thing on my photobucket. I've been waiting for only an hour..

[Kirkreng]

no. i just got this thing on my photobucket. I've been waiting for only an hour..

What are you trying to say? That i wasn't funny in the last hour?

[Scorpia]

no. i just got this thing on my photobucket. I've been waiting for only an hour..

What are you trying to say? That i wasn't funny in the last hour?

 

i don't know..wasn't really paying attention. besides the achievement isn't gained easily. simply "making me laugh" isn't the criteria of the achievement.

[Dr. Derpy Hooves Ph.D]

We are now officially random again...

You know they're going to give RD a boyfriend next season just to troll the fans... XD

[Blightmare]

Lies.

[superjchamma]

[Blue]

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

 

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

Few people can appreciate how useful this would be in real life.

[Scorpia]

i noticed that too...it would be awesome...

[Blightmare]

[Flyingamerboy]