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[Jek Jek Roo]

Ansel Krut, Whistling Winnie (2002)

 

it's time when art makes you feel uncomfortable ._.

[Psychotic Ninja]

h03QBNVwX8Q

[rairii]

God ninja post a content warning next time OK??? Spooked my guts off

[Psychotic Ninja]

To be fair, it is Spooktober after all.

[Average Internet Guy]

ReOw_2f4lpY

[Psychotic Ninja]

2dC-ZlsYSpo

[Blue]

I haven't been here in years.

 

I'm coming back not really to join or stay, but to describe what's been going on with this handsome gentleman in recent years.

 

I haven't been on here since... April 2016? In that time, I've since finished attending the British Columbia Institute of Technology and now I'm a machinist working near Vancouver, making coin And I met a nice girl while at BCIT.

 

The point of my visit is a project I have underway, to try and archive ALL my internet forum posts. I'm having a hard time finding out where I could take a gander at all I've posted on this site.

[Zaraki]

Heyyy,welcome back Blue!

[Jek Jek Roo]

OMG HI!!!!

[Psychotic Ninja]

Oh shit, hey man

[rairii]

I haven't been here in years.

 

I'm coming back not really to join or stay, but to describe what's been going on with this handsome gentleman in recent years.

 

I haven't been on here since... April 2016? In that time, I've since finished attending the British Columbia Institute of Technology and now I'm a machinist working near Vancouver, making coin And I met a nice girl while at BCIT.

 

The point of my visit is a project I have underway, to try and archive ALL my internet forum posts. I'm having a hard time finding out where I could take a gander at all I've posted on this site.

Tyler! I've missed you so much!

Glad to see you've been doing well for yourself lately

[Psychotic Ninja]

 

Kids, don't spam please.

[Spagelo]

Awhile back, I saw a man try to rob a pharmacy with a pool cue, saying he had to castrate some chickens and give them ulcer medication. The clerks chased him away; I followed him. I saw him strip to exotic nylon panties and a pair of Nike Decades, and then run into the hardware store where he warned that the sun was exploding, and that he had to find the toilets. When the law man arrived, he exposed himself and showered the sheriff before he was beaten. He proclaimed that John McCain was the King of the Jungle as he was dragged to the paddy wagon.

 

Later, it began to rain. The streets emptied, and I ran to the shade so that I could watch cars go by. One stopped for me and let me in. I offered him a light and he fanned the flames, then we took off in a spin. The traffic stood still to see if someone had been killed, what a thrill to leave behind. I looked out on the ghetto, watching the floods, expecting an echo from the sailors who steered on the street. Wanting to join them, I put on my bells and paddled away. The city was red with rain, it wouldn't see another day, and it cried with pain. The lonely in disguise looked away from the city and its lies. I couldn't muster a frown, part of me was glad to see it drown.

 

Thank god for the rain, for it will let you alone, drive out the lame, and clear the way home.

[Psychotic Ninja]

y8JR36PgyCE

[Average Internet Guy]

Has nobody had the heart to tell game devs that *nobody* likes VR?

[Im_CIA]

Has nobody had the heart to tell game devs that *nobody* likes VR?

 

Modern devs and artists alike made a logical fallacy in a assuming "new" equals creative.

[Chuckthe2nd]

I haven't been here in years.

 

I'm coming back not really to join or stay, but to describe what's been going on with this handsome gentleman in recent years.

 

I haven't been on here since... April 2016? In that time, I've since finished attending the British Columbia Institute of Technology and now I'm a machinist working near Vancouver, making coin And I met a nice girl while at BCIT.

 

The point of my visit is a project I have underway, to try and archive ALL my internet forum posts. I'm having a hard time finding out where I could take a gander at all I've posted on this site.

DUDE I missed the fuck out of you!

[Chuckthe2nd]

Has nobody had the heart to tell game devs that *nobody* likes VR?

You clearly haven'd been to one of the new IMAX VR Arcades.

[Alyxx Thorne]

[Selous Templar]

*[THE DEFINITIVE RULES OF 80's ACTION MOVIES]*

 

*(0)* It *MUST* be directed by Cannon Films and nobody the fuck else.

*(1)* Politely wait your turn to die.

*(2)* HOLY FUCK IT'S GODDAMN LASERS!!

*(3)* Unless your name is Jessie "The Body" Ventura, to wield a Minigun, you must scream your everloving nuts off.

*(4)* ... Wrong!

*(5)* Behind every door, there is a Burt Fucking Reynolds!

*(6)* Every Shuriken thrown hits its target with pinpoint accuracy.

*(7)* NEVER bring a knife to a gun fight.

*(8)* NEVER bring a weapon of any description to a fight with Charles Bronson, if you want to escape with at least half your testicles intact.

*(9)* To be related to Charles Bronson is to mean Certain *DEATH!*

*(10)* To be friends with Chuck Norris is to mean Certain *DEATH!*

*(11)* To be a partner of Dirty Harry is to mean Certain *DEATH!*

*(12)* Every object, no matter how inconspicuous or vague, up to and including a belt buckle, may in fact be, a fucking Ninja Star.

*(13)* Save the best scene for last.

*(14)* In the beginning, middle, and/or end of the film, there must be an 80's Montage set to a Synth track.

*(15)* Chuck Norris's Kevlar Beard is also the source of his power.

*(16)* If Jean Claude Van Dame's hand is starting to reach for his belt-line, his pants have already come off.

*(17)* Always phrase your answer in the form of a question.

*(18)* Every one liner MUST be followed by a Key-taur riff.

*(19)* 3/4ths mark must have Main character in mortal danger to help conjure up a false sense of drama.

*(20)* Every man in a brightly coloured shirt must end up dead.

*(21)* NEVER, in a Steven Segal movie, under any circumstance, play Pool.

*(22)* Touching Burt Reynolds's penis is like making eye contact with fucking Medusa.

*(23)* It must have a Soundtrack more heavy metal than the bottom third of the Periodic Table.

*(24)* To fashion the creation of the 80's action hero, you must do one thing: Murder every organic being he's ever had fucking contact with.

*(25)* You can't fight the Ninja forever, but it's the 80's and well, you can goddamn try.

*(26)* Never let the Japanese get the element of surprise.

*(27)* It MUST include someone using the insult "Jive Ass Bastard" else everyone be infected with virginity.

*(28)* All *Real* men apply fuckin Eyeliner!

*(29)* The only thing deadlier than a Ninja, is a Ninja with a fucking hot tub.

*(30)* 80's films don't need thought; they need Ninjas, Tities, and oh hey did I mention a fucking Flamethrower?!

*(31)* All the main villain does by beating up the protagonist is fill up his ultra meter, because this IS Street Fighter bitch!

*(32)* 80's Thug Logic: When you are surrounding an object that you think hides the hero: Fire every weapon, preferably a Sub Machine Gun, you have at it for at least an entire minute.

*(33)* It's a movie, it's the 80's and by GOD, Computers are magic.

*(34)* Naked Boobs. Heavin' Tities. Nuff said.

*(35)* Mad Max will always be a 4 wheeled WESTERN, so Max is the man with no name.

*(36)* At some point, somewhere in the world, at any given time, Jean Claude Van Dame is butt naked.

*(37)* Everything that can explode, will explode because Fuck you it's the 80's. DEAL WITH IT.

EDIT: *(38)* Only a Ninja can stop a Ninja!

 

*Also must include:*

- Badguy with a Moustache

- Chase scene with no purpose except to turn every white-blooded American male from indifferent and in flaccid to attentive and capable of carving a detailed diamond sculpture with his dong

- More Moustaches than a Leather bar in Happy hour/a George Michael pool party

- Main character who is a "Hero" that runs around beating the living shit out of everyone he encounters

- "Hero" having a Leather Jacket, Aviator Glasses, and a burnt match sticking out of his (or her) mouth

- A "Vengeful Exposition Factory" that solely produces Lava, Sparks, and over the top Main Antagonist brutal death scenes which can include exploding the fuck up

- Anima-goddamn-tronics

- It CAN take place within the Great Mullet Massacre of 1900 and 91 if it has

- Steven Segal or Chuck Norris and

- Gina Gershon's magnificent melons

- The fact that we are all a dream within the mullet bedecked mind of Chuck fucking Norris

- Steve Buscemi

- An inspiration to write vapid 80's grunge music

- A clandestine Ninja Smack-ring

- A triad of suspiciously multicultural shitheels

- The words "Snake Plissken wielding an Uzi on a fucking Hang-Glider" in the film script

- Leather Jacket, Sawn-off Shotgun, Omnipresent Automotive Carnage, a Mauser C96, and most importantly, mother fucking *MOTORCYCLES* to be measured on the Scale of 1 to Death Race!!

Edited December 6, 2017 by Guest (see edit history)