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[Blightmare]

  Username said:

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press F to pay respects

You know those laughs that you don't see coming so your body is quite literally not ready and the resulting snort is painful and ugly sounding?

 

I had one of those.

[Psychotic Ninja]

 

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  Story on notalwaysworking said:

 

(A coworker and I are the same age, and when she started working we generally get along. Sometimes I would even give her part of my tips if she didn’t make a lot. Since then she has become a royal pain and altogether terrible worker. I’ve seen her steal tips out of the jar, both on her working days and her days off. I’ve seen her call in and then show up at the shop to make herself and her friends free food and drinks. I’ve opened the shop the day after she has closed and come in to a mess that takes nearly three hours to clean up. She would be scheduled for two days a week and call in one. She has failed to show up several times, and her excuse for her absence was basically “Well, if I had known I needed to show up I would have.” We are short staffed, meaning shifts usually consist of one employee at a time. It also means my coworker probably won’t be fired, seeing as we need people. My coworker in question is on work suspension for excessively calling in, after months of incidents, and as a result is only allowed to work eight hours a week. It is the day before I am scheduled to open the shop at 5:30 am. I live half an hour away, so to get there on time I need to wake up around 4:30. My coworker texts me at 10:45 pm. this night, waking me up.)

 

Coworker: “Hey, I have a church thing tomorrow. Could you work for me from 2:00-6:00?”

 

Me: “If I really have to, I guess, but I’m opening tomorrow also.”

 

Coworker: “[Manager] says it’s fine. Thanks so much!”

 

(I decide not to argue because I’m not very busy the next day anyway. I go in for my morning shift and get off at 11:00 am. My manager has the shift from 9:00-2:00. Instead of wasting gas to go home for an hour and a half, I decide to sleep in my car until 2:00. I go back in until my other, much more likeable coworker comes in at 6:000. She sees me and immediately gets angry, as this is not the first time it has happened.)

 

Good Coworker: “Go home. I’ll deal with her. Do not take another shift of hers, got it?”

 

Me: “I wasn’t planning to.”

 

(The next day, my good coworker forwards me what is apparently the reply of our manager to what I assume was a long, merciless rant about the bad coworker.)

 

Manager: “I understand your concerns, but [Coworker] has a tough home life. I wouldn’t be surprised if she messes up here and there. I’ll talk to her about it, but there’s not much I can do, since we need workers. Most of the customers like her anyways. Cut her some slack.”

 

(I, in turn, sent a lengthy email of the above along with this manager’s reply to my supervisor, who seems to be unaware of the situation. Her solution was to increase her suspension to four hours a week. Losing it, I told her that four hours is all the coworker works anyway. I was fired for talking back.)

 

 

So... who's dick was she sucking?

[Blightmare]

The older Led Zeppelin's song Rock and Roll get's, the more true it becomes.

[Psychotic Ninja]

[longliveprose]

"Today, we'll model an equation after a real-world scenario."

Cool, what're you thinking? 'What's the maximum height of a ball going to be depending on how hard you throw it, if you throw it vertically'? 'How will the price of a brand of meat rise through the period 1901-1911'?

"Based on the price (b) of books, and price © of CDs, find out how many books Peter buys, and how many CDs."

Just fucking ask him! That's not something intensely personal like 'how big's your dick' or 'how many new pimples do you have today', it's just how many books he bought at the store!

"If adult tickets to a film are $96 and kid tickets are $340, how many adults are there, and kids?"

Why do you care? You didn't go to the film, and if you did you wouldn't need to ask because you'd already know!

This is probably why I don't like doing math homework, it's too detached from reality and I end up focusing more on the braindead 'real-world scenarios' that they give out.

[Psychotic Ninja]

l0WPB-uvNYA

 

 

Why come out 15 years later?!

[longliveprose]

Hera must be the biggest bitch known to mankind. First she forces a baby out prematurely so that Zeus's plans are spoiled. Fair enough, he did cheat on her. But no. Then she tried to kill the bastard child. Then the bastard child, Alcides, who was going to be king before Eurystheus was popped out, became her punching bag. 20, 25 years after Zeus cheated on her, she decided to have him kill his family in a psychotic breakdown she sent his way as payback, which caused him to become Eurystheus's slave essentially and undergo the 12 Labours.

 

And then around 2000 years later the Walt Disney company puts the blame for all this shit onto Hades because why the hell not, let's cast this guy that doesn't deserve this into the villain role because he's the afterlife's gatekeeper and as we all know anything relating to death must be evil unless it can be directly paralleled to Jehovah.

[Psychotic Ninja]

You're acting like Zeus and the other gods are real.

[longliveprose]

I know they aren't, but hey, has that ever stopped someone from calling someone fictional a bitch? I've heard many, many people call Daisy Buchanan a bitch.

[Jeb_CC]

Real random question; has anyone met a transgender that ISN'T gay? Cause I'm seriously puzzled. And I refer to the perspective from their desired gender. So like...

Every female to male transgender I've met is into guys.

And every male to female transgender I've met is into girls.

>.> Or do I just have weird luck? XD

[longliveprose]

I know of Blaire White, but no straight transgenders personally that I know of. I only pretty much know one though, and I haven't talked to her in a year by now.

[rairii]

  Jeb_CC said:

Real random question; has anyone met a transgender that ISN'T gay? Cause I'm seriously puzzled. And I refer to the perspective from their desired gender. So like...

Every female to male transgender I've met is into guys.

And every male to female transgender I've met is into girls.

>.> Or do I just have weird luck? XD

I mean, I've had crushes on other girls before but I still consider myself mostly straight. I do have a boyfriend after all.

Just wondering, how many trans people do you even know for 100% of them to be gay?

[Jeb_CC]

  Username said:

I mean, I've had crushes on other girls before but I still consider myself mostly straight. I do have a boyfriend after all.

Just wondering, how many trans people do you even know for 100% of them to be gay?

I just have weird luck then. XD

But like, I had a few trans friends, and when you're on the internet you're bound to come across a few as well. They say they're gay but like, they could be bi, I dunno. Maybe I should change it to; "I've never met a trans who was completely straight". lol

[rairii]

  Jeb_CC said:

  Username said:

I mean, I've had crushes on other girls before but I still consider myself mostly straight. I do have a boyfriend after all.

Just wondering, how many trans people do you even know for 100% of them to be gay?

I just have weird luck then. XD

But like, I had a few trans friends, and when you're on the internet you're bound to come across a few as well. They say they're gay but like, they could be bi, I dunno. Maybe I should change it to; "I've never met a trans who was completely straight". lol

To be fair there aren't a lot of people I know who I can call "completely straight", one of my best friends has more female crushes now than I've had in my entire life, even dated a girl at one point, and she still considers herself "straight" I'm pretty sure. Really I just consider it a relative term.

But yeah, it is weird that every trans person you know is "relatively gay"

[Psychotic Ninja]

  Blood and Custard said:

Red and yellow do go together.

 

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[longliveprose]

  Psychotic Ninja said:

  Blood and Custard said:

Red and yellow do go together.

 

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Obviously you've never been hit with one of these.

[Psychotic Ninja]

  longliveprose said:

  Psychotic Ninja said:

  Blood and Custard said:

Red and yellow do go together.

 

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Obviously you've never been hit with one of these.

 

Eight examples beat one.

[longliveprose]

  Psychotic Ninja said:

Eight examples beat one.

You're right, eight examples is better at proving why yellow and red mix as well as sprite, motor oil, and Bruce Forsyth's ageing seed as a colour combination than one is.

[Psychotic Ninja]

52i_r1_ZQuw

[danielsangeo]

"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs."

 

Hong Kong says, "Hold my beer."

 

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