Men's rights, mental health and child visitations

[grizzlyxjim]

I have some issues going on in my life that I would like to get out. First of all I have mental health issues. PTSD from a motorcycle accident, panic disorder and agoraphobia. I have such a hard time riding in vehicles I have serious panic attacks and stuff. I've been trying to get over it for 4 years now and there hasn't been much progress. I met a girl from tinder and we dated for almost a year until she found out she was pregnant by me and broke up two weeks later. There has been minimal contact since she ignores my calls etc. My baby girl was born on the 24th and I have not been able to see her or anything she moved over an hour a way and it just isn't possible. People tell me I don't want it bad enough and it just kills me because I do. She says I can visit anytime I want but won't bring the baby down. I have a lawyer and all that fun jazz. I literally just want to be a father to my kiddo. I am almost thirty and this will probably be my only child. I send her whatever bills she asks me to pay and I have through out her pregnancy. I constantly beat myself up for being too much of a weak person to just get over it and deal with the panic attacks. I have tried exposure therapy and it seems like it just makes it worse. There are a lot of things I wouldn't be able to do with my kiddo but I don't see the harm in her visiting once a month or whatever. I live with people that can drive and get out and I would not care if baby mama stayed while my daughter was here. I've never been mean, abusive or anything but kind considerate and understanding. My sister drives two hours every other weekend to drop her kids off at her ex husbands house, I have many friends that are doing the same with their exes. My lawyer says there is hope but it's eating me up. I have this beautiful baby girl and all I want is to put my finger in her little hand and make her laugh and love daddy. I know this is personal and deep. I just had to get it out somewhere.

[Alyxx Thorne]

Has your ex explained at all why she decided to break up when she got pregnant? Was there any reason you weren't allowed to raise the baby with her? To me it makes no sense...

[PsychoFox]

Considering the circumstances, are you even sure that the child is yours? Sorry for sounding like dick

[grizzlyxjim]

It has more to do with her parents I think. They are very strict LDS and when they found out that we were going to move in together they dropped the hammer and went nuts. She is younger, in her early 20s and it was all good til her parents were told. Ultra conservative LDS. They will not even let me have direct contact with my ex it all has to go through her father. Yes we are 100% sure it is mine. If it wasn't they would throw that in my face for sure. I understand the sentiment though. I did end up seeing some pictures and the little tyke looks just like me, has the same distinct nose shape. I have no doubts.

[grizzlyxjim]

Her father told me the other day I can come visit her. Knowing my disability keeps me from doing that. I asked if my sister could visit and he said not without me. I feel like they are doing this to relieve some of their guilt so they can be like they offered. Ugh I never lied about my illness. I was upfront about it with my ex from very first contact.

[PsychoFox]

Man I really don't know what to say. The parents are being a (more than a) little shitty about this. I hope you can reach a working compromise with them. If you are going the legal route, and are in the US, I'd have to tell you that it's a real uphill battle. Make sure you can handle the financial burden first. There's no reason to ruin yourself.

[Alyxx Thorne]

That's really sad and I definitely think the parents are being way too strict about it and very lacking in understanding the importance of a family...

 

I really hope you find a solution to this...

[grizzlyxjim]

Update: I asked if I could bring my therapist for support so I actually have a chance of making there. (not worded like that) They said no.

 

Just an update, They have been sending me pictures regularly and I am hoping to see the baby in two weeks. They want me to terminate paternal rights but I can't do that. A judge will award visitations at some point.

[grizzlyxjim]

Update: I have been getting regular skype visitations with my daughter.

[Im_CIA]

That's good to hear. Good luck man, never stop fighting

[Prinny]

7 minutes ago, AnnaLudvigovna said:

The question is whether the State should be allowed to violate that natural right.

When exercising that right hurts child more than action from government would.