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Storytelling! :D

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Basically, just a thread to share your stories! Can be dramatic, cringy, depressing, exciting - anything that's happened to you. :)

So, you could talk about that time you almost got run over. XP Or how you ended up in hospital. Maybe how you won an award... or the way you scored the ending of a match was too amazing not to share. I'm interested to see what crazy shit ya'll have been through. :P I'll start! (However, let's probably keep the stories to a non-graphic calm scale please. XD So, no talking about your sex life, preferably nothing so depressing that it goes into suicide territory or anything either. Thank you!) And maybe for funsies, add a 'moral to the story' at the end. :P

 

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A few years ago, when I had my black German Shepherd, we were just all chilling in the living room, in the new house we were renting. We were having a late dinner, my dog - Sabre - was given her dinner too. Before we were about to go to bed though, my little sister noticed something on the ground in the kitchen, tucked away between the bench and the wall. It was like, snail bait, poison basically. But the most terrible thing about it was that it looked like it had been chewed on - definitely not by any small critter. >.> So, naturally, we open our dog's mouth up and see the stuff aaall up inside there. :S My mother rang up some vet person, I dunno who, but he told us to bring the dog over to the vet. We got there just as he was opening it up with the keys (since it was closed at the time), got inside, got a few things for the dog. It was kinda disgusting really... XD How he got the poison out. I thought he'd just have some sort of drug to fight the effects, but no. :P He just gave her something that made her real nauseous, and she ended up vomiting all the poison out of her. I mean, it works. XP But, her dinner came with it and that wasn't so pleasant to see. XD Much better than her being poisoned though, I'd say. We kindly thanked the vet, for coming out at this time of night, did whatever else needed to be done and took Sabre home.

And moral of the story: Don't wait to look after your pet! Vet said that if we waited till tomorrow, she probably would have needed much more treatment and she would be much more sick. :(

 

Your turn!

I am immortal until proven otherwise.

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Just recently,we had a test on English. I was the ONLY guy in class who had a decent "C" grade. All the others had F's(a few had D's). I was like "Wow,seriously? You guys study this for years and you're still not proving it? Good job."

Moral of the story:You should study English! It's like a universal language!

"FUCK YOU REALITY!!YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!!!"

"Hark! Dost thou hear with thine ears what I hear with mine? Interloper! No quarter shall be shown hither, fiend! Anon! Show thyself, churl!"

http://myanimelist.net/profile/MantisDude

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  Zaraki said:
Just recently,we had a test on English. I was the ONLY guy in class who had a decent "C" grade. All the others had F's(a few had D's). I was like "Wow,seriously? You guys study this for years and you're still not proving it? Good job."

Moral of the story:You should study English! It's like a universal language!

 

59de390885baf75feff7c48e08730a15.jpg

 

 

OT: Back in the/my early days of L4D VS, during Death Toll 2nd section, in the area right before the crescendo event, I was back in the upper area, about to jump through one of the windows, when a Smoker grabbed me. In the few seconds before you're completely immobile, I hesitantly threw my pipe bomb, luckily, it bounced off the wall, and landed right next to the smoker, when it went off I was free (I think it killed him, I don't remember).

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"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

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I have a good one! Some time ago, i went to a nightclub with a bunch of friends to celebrate a birthday. We were all having fun, and we went from the bar to some tables that were empty. I was following behind, when i feel someone shoving me from the back. I was really drunk at the time, so naturally my first instinct was to punch the face of whoever was behind me as soon as i turned around. I ended up punching a bodybuilding rugbier. We started fighting until i felt someone grabbing me from behind. Thinking they were the bouncers trying to pull me from the guy, i didnt Ifight back. They were the rugbier's friends. The rugbier started punching me in the face while his friends held me down, until one of my friends grabbed me and took me to the tables. My friends were all looking at me with concerned faces until one of them pointed out that i had a cracked tooth. I was fucking livid. I wanted to find those guys and break a beer bottle on their heads, but my friends talked me out of it. We went back to dancing and on the way back we ended up laughing about it. I had to pay a lot of money to get my tooth fixed with some kind of paste that simulates dental tissue. But in retrospect i kinda deserve it for causing such trouble at my friends birthday. Funny thing is, i didnt get any bruise or anything, except for the broken tooth. I must have a hard face.

Moral of the story is: Think before you punch.

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  Jeb_CC said:
No talking about your sex life.

Ahh, but Jeb those are the best kinds of stories. :(

 

Anyway back on topic. I was eating Cheetos out of the bag this one time and some how I perfectly pulled out this one giant cheeto stick without it breaking in the bag. It was basically 3 cheetos stitched together. I measured it and it came up to about 9 inches. then I ate it. Remember kids, the moral of the story is that if you practice your cheeto gripping skills you might end up with a giant cheeto stick. Even if you don't you might end up with a giant cheeto stick anyway. :P

I'm not saying I started the fire. But I most certain poured gasoline on it.

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I have a set that is great for all those 'hardcore' MMO players out there in PvP land...

 

Back when WoW was actually a good game, (before WotLK destroyed the skills) I was running around doing casual PvP with a couple friends. (we were all Alliance, I was a Dwarf Hunter) We were all pure casual players, and had 2 purple quality items among us, both were several levels too low for us to use effectively. Essentially, we went into matches with green and blue quality items and our skill. We ended up slaughtering virtually everyone we were put up against, and this got us a very prominent reputation on our server. After a while, someone was trying to say that I was stupid for stacking agility on my hunter, but he decided to do so on a chat channel visible to one of the larger cities in the BC areas, and drew the attention of 3 of the best PvPers on the server. All of those PvPers said they had been trying to figure out why I had slaughtered them so much, and that they were going to start trying out that kind of build for PvP. I became essentially the 'founding father' of stat stacking on that server.

 

Moral: You may be good, but don't be derisive of someone doing something unconventional... He may be a lot better than you at what you claim to be good at.

 

PS: Don't ever play a hunter in PvP in modern (anything after WotLK) WoW, as they nerfed hunters HARD. They used to be decent at PvP, and the best at solo PvE, (even with lower-quality gear) but now they can't even hold their own in solo PvE without getting excellent gear. (and they're just free points for the enemy in PvP)

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Ever since I was born, I was always extremely tall compared to other people of my age. Me starting to grow full facial hair around 16 didn't help the situation at all, it made me look really old. Still now, I look 2-3 years older than I really am. Also, I never shaved my beard in high school because I feared the hair might grow back thicker than before, so I started kind of growing it out. It never became incredibly long at the time but it was definitely noticeable.

 

During high school graduation day, I came to school with a full suit for the celebration. The ceremony was a long way from starting and I was one of the few people there that arrived very early. My classmates and their parents started coming one-by-one and this one grandpa approached me and offered to shake my hand and asked for a picture with me. He apparently thought I was the class teacher because I looked so damn old. My classmates kept giggling to themselves during the whole incident. Eventually, some other parents and classmates started to come to me for a picture. All my classmates went in on the joke of me being a teacher and it took me a long while for our actual class teacher to come and greet the parents.

Actually Yngwie of Haus Malmsteen, feefty eenches of pure Svwedish beef.

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Once I e-mailed a guy who was making a video series in the Half-Life game...... and it kinda went from there :)8-)

Ross's girlfriend (IRL) Twitter: @AmazingMagda follow me! ^^to somewhere! ^^

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@Zaraki: Maybe they just don't even want to learn English. XP They like Bulgarian too much.

@Psychotic: That is absolutely amazing. XD

@Malhek: Oh my gosh! I would have just gotten absolutely WRECKED. I hope all that didn't hurt too much. >.> Goodness!

@Helio: Sorry. :P And hey, insanely long cheeto stick is insanely long. Must have been gloriously delicious.

@BTG: Never been the person that does the unconvential and be good at it. But it sounds amazing. :D Good job!

@Priest: I told your story to my mate who also has the same problem of looking older than the average student. XD He couldn't stop laughing for a while.

@HLPrincess: Today I learnt. XP

 

OT: Last year, I was in English class, everyone in the class reading lines from a script - studying plays and all that snot. XP My friend - SOMEHOW managed to read, instead of... "They were squabbling like parrots."

said; "They were squabbling like potatoes." XD Kid you not. Class was laughing for a while from that one. After the script reading, teacher took notes on the computer/projector... Specifically using the "Squabbling like parrots." As a simile example. All good and all, break time follows... So the teacher was out, most of all the other students as well. I decide to be a dick, sneak on the computer and change "parrots" to "potatoes". XP Everyone came back. NOBODY noticed.

Next lesson, fuck me - the teacher printed out the notes and my change is still there. NOW everyone notices and start pissing themselves laughing. But everyone was blaming the teacher! XD Like; " You just couldn't get potatoes out of your head!" And they even convinced the teacher that it was her who made the 'mistake'. XP I had to try and fight back a guilty expression as everyone was teasing the teacher. I just thought people would notice that one of us students messed with the notes. X3 Apparently not. I still haven't told my teacher it was me. XD But I plan to. One day. :P

I am immortal until proven otherwise.

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*XX Years later, on Jeb's Teacher's death bed*

 

*Jasmine walks in, hands the teacher a potato* "Teacher, there's something I need to tell you, all those years ago, I was the one who changed 'parrots' to 'potatoes'."

 

 

OT: So, at my work, a woman came in, dropped off two blouses, and left without paying (common). They get cleaned, and are hanging in the rack. Two weeks ago, she comes in to pay and pick up her two blouses. I tell here the total's $11.23, she's not happy with this, at all. She thinks we're cheating her, etc. etc. We go back and forth (do mind you, this is late at night, literally minutes away from closing up). After what felt like forever, she leaves, without paying, so her two blouses stayed behind. Today, a family member of hers, comes in, pays for the two blouses, and leaves, without a single issue. I thought we were going to keep them for good.

  Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

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Here's an embarassing story that happened to me a couple of years ago:

I was with four other friends and we had made a little campfire in the woods and were having a barbecue and some beers. It was around midnight when was my turn to throw some wood into the fire and a few minutes after I sat back down I wanted to put my glasses back on, which I had previously tucked in my shirt, and then I noticed that they were gone.

So in complete darkness, me, being pretty much blind, and four drunk guys were trying to find the needle in the haystack, when one of them suddenly found them IN THE FIRE. We got them out somehow and half of the glasses had completely melted. I walked around with these for about a week.

Moral of the story: Wear contact lenses.

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@Ninja: Those customers, man. XP

@KittyCat: Oh lord, I remember you telling me this one. :D Geez.

 

OT: Last year, around the time of my birthday, I got a birthday cake. XP And my birthday cake was a companion cube. So naturally, I hated the idea of actually eating it. Eventually though, I got hungry. XD And a girls gotta eat. So I took it with me to my math class and ate a companion cube in my math class. :P Teacher gave no shits.

 

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Moral of the story: It's okay to play with your food?

I am immortal until proven otherwise.

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I had a cat named Goldie who loved sleeping outside under the side porch. One day, we heard a Doberman begin viciously barking at the side porch so I ran to the porch to see what was going on.

 

As soon as I got there, the Doberman turned tail (which was impressive, considering how short his tail was) and fled. Goldie was running down the street at top speed, spitting and wailing, after the Doberman. We couldn't reach them before Goldie and the Doberman disappeared around a house and into a wooded area.

 

About 5 minutes later, Goldie returned. She was completely uninjured, and she walked smugly back to the side porch and got into a box that was under there that she liked to lay in.

 

Satisfied that all was well, I went back into the house. Then, about 5 minutes later, I decided to check on Goldie to be sure she was uninjured and I heard high-pitched mewling coming from under the porch. Goldie was in the process of giving birth to a litter of kittens.

 

Goldie, who I didn't even know was pregnant, had chased down a full-sized Doberman, just before giving birth to kittens. :shock:

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Can we share our short stories if we have any here?

 

I have one I have been sitting on for some time.........its called: Death Before Dawn

 

 

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“Error 482: Somebody shot the server with a 12-gauge. Please contact your administrator”

“Caution Laser Caution Laser Caution Laser”

“I can now solve up to 800 problems a minute”

"I got my degree under the tutelage of Dr. Pepper."

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There was a time, back in college, when I was waiting outside a big hall for the first extra-curricular Fencing session to start. I had a friend with me so at least I wasn't going to get too bored waiting for the teacher to show up. In the hallway was another door; nothing to see through the window and was labelled "Dark Room". Now at the time I had no photography experience or knowledge and neither did my friend, so we just speculated that it was a secret room where people were taken to be sacrificed or exchanged with dark demonic forces (or something alone those lines anyway). We joked about it for a while and seemed to believe it... then the door opened...
Another student, whom we had no idea who they were, just stepped out and walked away. My friend and I stared, looked at each other, then shared a good laugh. It's weird and disappointing when you speculate wildly about something you don't know or understand that well, then reality hits you to correct your imagination.

Those were good days. I miss my friend...

Moral of the story: If you find something you don't understand, let your imaginative mind speculate wildly and go with the flow. And be ready in case demons come to get you for knowing too much.

Edited by Boytrooper64 (see edit history)

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Well, I have a new one partly related to my last one. Been trying out the newest x-pack on WoW since it was a gift. I started off reluctant to do any of the "3 or more players recommended" quests due to my experience back when I stopped playing last. So I was just going along questing, and looking for rares to tame for my hunter pets, and I see one of my quests ding... I didn't have a quest in that area tracked, but when I looked, it was one of those "3 player" quests. I had accidentally, without even noticing, eaten my way through a level 120 elite when I was level 110 with moderate quality equip.

 

Damn it feels good to have my hunter's PvE combat capabilities back from before WotLK.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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As another WoW story that I forgot until recently...

 

I once convinced a PvP super raid (two coordinated 40-man raid groups) to skip the normal PvP target of Orgrimmar and instead go after all the boats and airships in Azeroth. We completely took over all of the Horde transportation systems, and gave away 1g to each passenger for over an hour. This was back in the Burning Crusade days, so giving out gold on that scale was no small thing, especially considering the time and effort it took to mail all that gold with Horde alts.

 

Since this was after I had already made a name for myself on that server, when some of the group complained that they weren't doing what was planned, I got blamed, and they retracted their complaint. (if I was the one suggesting it, it must've been a good idea)

 

Now, I can't even get a full dungeon group together. :(

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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  On 12/7/2018 at 1:42 AM, BTGBullseye said:

Well, I have a new one partly related to my last one. Been trying out the newest x-pack on WoW since it was a gift. I started off reluctant to do any of the "3 or more players recommended" quests due to my experience back when I stopped playing last. So I was just going along questing, and looking for rares to tame for my hunter pets, and I see one of my quests ding... I didn't have a quest in that area tracked, but when I looked, it was one of those "3 player" quests. I had accidentally, without even noticing, eaten my way through a level 120 elite when I was level 110 with moderate quality equip. 

 

Damn it feels good to have my hunter's PvE combat capabilities back from before WotLK.

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None of the quest elites you get at that level are 120, they all scale with level.

the name's riley

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  On 12/7/2018 at 1:42 AM, BTGBullseye said:

Well, I have a new one partly related to my last one. Been trying out the newest x-pack on WoW since it was a gift. I started off reluctant to do any of the "3 or more players recommended" quests due to my experience back when I stopped playing last. So I was just going along questing, and looking for rares to tame for my hunter pets, and I see one of my quests ding... I didn't have a quest in that area tracked, but when I looked, it was one of those "3 player" quests. I had accidentally, without even noticing, eaten my way through a level 120 elite when I was level 110 with moderate quality equip.

 

Damn it feels good to have my hunter's PvE combat capabilities back from before WotLK.

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And then everyone in the server clapped...

  Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

Expand  

 

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  On 12/9/2018 at 5:43 PM, Annie said:

None of the quest elites you get at that level are 120, they all scale with level.

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True, but there are a few world elites that are. That was the one I accidentally ate, and that convinced me I could actually do the 3-man missions solo.

 

  On 12/9/2018 at 7:21 PM, Psychotic Ninja said:

And then everyone in the server clapped...

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More like people were amazed I didn't know that beastmaster hunters are currently the highest DPS in the game right now. (depends on how well you chain your abilities, but you can easily take down 10 levels higher elites, and many same-level bosses solo with them) See, last time I played, hunters had been nerfed into near uselessness, and couldn't even take on same-level rares half the time.

Edited by BTGBullseye (see edit history)

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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