If bands became their own name

[Selfsurprise]

Just a goofy idea me and my sister joked about whilst I was visiting her. We had a discussion in which we conjured up this comedic sketch that involved the lineup of last years Supersonic festival (link, if you're interested) commenting on some of the wonderfully barmy names come up with for themselves. We wondered what the world would be like if bands and musicians eventually became the thing they named themselves, literally, no matter how subjective or abstract the name. Going by the aforementioned lineup we singled out Gazelle Twin (a concerned talking gazelle asking the audience if they've seen her twin sister/brother) All Ears (a horrible shuddering mass of moaning ears) Woven Skull (a skull made of straw that lashes out and captures audience members by weaving skulls over their heads) and Dirty Electronics (a bunch of kitchen appliances and outdated PCs that ask female audience members what kind of pants they are wearing).

 

I guess in order to make this a an actual game thread, each player must post a band or lone musician (preferably who goes by an alias, not by their real name) for the next user, who must describe what they have turned into and perhaps even what they would do if they "performed" live. For example if somebody posted Black Sabbath, I could say Black Sabbath were a group of hooded acolytes who relaxed on stage, sitting reading newspapers or having a nice cup of hot beverage, whilst one of the group throws a frisbee to a goat. At the end of the performance one of acolytes explains all this by simply saying "it's Sunday". I hope you get the gist of the thread from me and my sisters utterly insane ramblings... :3

 

Next band: Darkthrone

 

~

 

Alternatively, just throw out some of your own ideas if you absolutely can't keep them to yourself. I'm not going to make this a dyed-in-the-wool game thread, feel free to participate both aspects of the topic. Here's a few examples I've made up.

 

• Animal Collective (a random assortment of animals stampede off the stage, crushing the audience resulting in many deaths and injuries)
  
• Sleep Party People (a group of somnambulists throw a disastrous beer fueled dance party)
  
• Skinny Puppy (an emaciated puppy with enormous heart melting eyes gains the audiences trust, then eats them)
  
• High Wolf (a clumsy and oddly sedate giant wolf "blazes it" on stage)
  
• The Jesus Loves Heroin Band (Jesus appears in all his immanent majesty, and tosses little bags of scag to the audience)
  
• Whitehouse (the actual Whitehouse slams into the venue where the bands performance is supposed to take place)
  
• Minor Threat (a group of ankle-high tough guys appear and attempt to beat up the audience, their efforts cause much merriment)
  
• AIDS Wolf (too horrifying to contemplate)
  

 

P.S. I apologize for my weird choice of bands, I have rather odd tastes in regards to music.

[DeWolfeJV]

Darkthrone: A throne is placed onstage and the audience paints it black.

 

next band: Agoraphobic Nosebleed

[Binky The Rabbit]

Agoraphobic Nosebleed: Banned from most stadiums worldwide, the performance only works with large venues. The audience is saturated in a mixture of blood and mucus.

 

Next band: The Pastures

[Malhek]

The Pastures: The first and only band made completely out of various weeds and grass, The Pastures has gained massive fame among the youth for their peculiarity. Not having any actual band members, the group instead produces their albums using a device that monitors the growth of plants, and then makes music with the collected data. While completely nonsensical and dissonant, The Pastures nevertheless has surpassed the record sales of even the most well known albums of history.

 

Next up: The Winery Dogs

[Vapymid]

Hehe... Malhek - this is a game and the names of real (and good) bands are disallowed!

 

Unless, of course you imagine that Binky has turned to a flower... A flower?!

 

If you go down to Willow Farm, though...

to look for butterflies, flutterbyes, gutterflies...

 

Regards

[Selfsurprise]

The Winery Dogs: An assortment of grape vines materialize in the music venue, and soon a group of stray dogs dressed in stereotypical French apparel saunter on stage. They proceed to drink botryatic wine and hurl insults at the audience in absurd accents.

 

Next band: Bloody Panda

[Alyxx Thorne]

A bloody panda singing about bloody shit.

 

OT: Apoptygma Berzerk (funny if you consider Apoptygma is a greek word for a ladies' garment)

[Selfsurprise]

I found your explanation, inspiring... :3

 

Apoptygma Berzerk: Seemingly nothing happens, as the audience mill about looking at one another in apparent bemusement. Suddenly the polite murmuring of the crowd is cut asunder by an almighty cry of "SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS" immediately followed by a explosion of ladies undergarments twangin' off in all directions, wrapping around people's faces and limbs, taking out eyes and teeth with the elastic tension. It's a bloodbath.

 

Next band: Scorpion Wind

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

Scorpion Wind: A man-sized scorpion walks on the stage and farts into the microphone. The audience is disgusted, confused and happy at the same time as they slowly realise that a scorpion's wind is actually quite nice to listen to.

 

Next Band: Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra

[PriestOfJudas]

On stage, there are 21 different ping-pong tables with 21 two sets of players. Each set of players have a ball and rackets in different body mass and density. And when they all play pong, each table makes a different note. It's glorious.

 

Next Band: Butthole Surfers (Fun fact: Led Zeppelin's bassist worked as a producer for them once)

[Selfsurprise]

(let me apologize in advance for this one)

 

Butthole Surfers: The audience collectively begin to feel nauseous, soon followed by the panic of imminent loss of bowel control. After uncontrollably dropping their trousers to unleash the coming torrent, to everyone's surprise crashing waves emerge from their arses. Atop the head waters, dozens of tiny brown surfer dudes whoop in unison and ride the cresting waves.

 

Next band: Two Lone Swordsmen

 

Scorpion Wind: A man-sized scorpion walks on the stage and farts into the microphone. The audience is disgusted, confused and happy at the same time as they slowly realise that a scorpion's wind is actually quite nice to listen to.

If I were a performance artist, I'd make this into a whole series works in which I dress as various animals and create strange noises from my arse.

[Malhek]

Two Lone Swordmen: A tragic opera play with two blind and deaf swordmen as the main protagonists. Both of these swordmen dreamed of having a duel with someone who could challenge them, but due to a stroke of destiny, they both became unable to see or hear, and now they roam the roads together hoping to have one final confrontation, neither of them knowing what the other is after.

 

Next up: No skin crew.

[Selfsurprise]

No Skin Crew: Five men stand nonchalantly onstage. Suddenly and without warning, their skin tears off as they scream abominably for several hours in apparent inchoate agony. Then, just as quickly as the whole thing began, the men stop screaming, take a bow and thank the audience for being wonderful, as they squelch off the stage leaving a comical trail of bloody footprints.

 

Next band: Goatmoon

[Alyxx Thorne]

A goat screaming at the moon for 30 minutes. People are very confused.

 

Next band: Acid Queen

[Binky The Rabbit]

Queen Elizabeth II graciously walks onto the stage, with a handbag. She takes out a tab of LSD and places it in her mouth. What happens next, only the audience will know...

 

Porcupine Tree.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Literal porcupines walk up stage, form a tree, and walk off.

 

 

The Black Mages

[Selfsurprise]

The Black Mages: A black gospel choir formed of wizards, sorcerers, witches and warlocks perform a stirring evangelical interpretation of The Whizzpopper song from the animated film The BFG. The audience weep and give rapturous applause, immediately converting to the worship of the DnD god of magic Boccob.

 

Next band: ΛDRIΛNWΛVE

[Binky The Rabbit]

Adrian Smith leaves Iron Maiden to transcend his physical form and become a soundwave of Pure Heavy Metal. He washes over the audience with gusto, and they are left awestruck. He has become the spirit of the Ancient Mariner.

 

Next band:

 

Anal Cunt

 

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

 

ಠ_ಠ

 

The lead singer spreads his arsecheeks facing the crowd, to reveal a vagina. He then queefs a melody while the audience watches in horror.

 

Next Band: Kicking Harold

[Selfsurprise]

Kicking Harold: Harold Shipman appears and starts aggressively kicking the air in front of him. Soon he begins to advance on the audience, menacing them with a potential booting. Without warning a giant Harold Pinter smashes into the venue kaiju-style and kicks Harokld Shipman into the moon.

 

Next band: Grinning Death's Head

 

Anal Cunt

ಠ_ಠ

Somebody had to do it eventually. Binky was just addressing the elephant in the room.

 

:3