Share your feelings!

[Doublenature]

Ive always wanted to join the Swedish military, its been my "dream" since like age 14 or so.

Now I went to a shrink and I regret every second of it.

I got diagnosed with some stuff:

PTSD

ADHD

Anxiety attacks

Im not getting into any military, am I?

 

I feel empty and slightly depressed, Ive lost most of my motivation to go outside running and people keep telling me that Im quiet and distant.

On the plus side, I finally moved away from home and got myself a job at a retirement home, so Im also slightly relieved and happy.

 

Im in the weird middle of feelings.

[Jeb_CC]

Ive always wanted to join the Swedish military, its been my "dream" since like age 14 or so.

Now I went to a shrink and I regret every second of it.

I got diagnosed with some stuff:

PTSD

ADHD

Anxiety attacks

Im not getting into any military, am I?

 

I feel empty and slightly depressed, Ive lost most of my motivation to go outside running and people keep telling me that Im quiet and distant.

On the plus side, I finally moved away from home and got myself a job at a retirement home, so Im also slightly relieved and happy.

 

Im in the weird middle of feelings.

 

Aw man, that's gotta suck. I'm really sorry about that. But know, you're really not alone on this one. I wanted to be a pilot when I was younger, hehe. I absolutely planes, and I love flying, every single second of it, even when the weather is shit. Especially when the weather is shit actually. But alas, my vision is absolutely terrible - so I can't be a pilot. But I just... worked on my hobbies and thought of some other things to dream for. You're probably extremely mad and disappointed, it's a very undesirable feeling I'm sure. But the best thing to do about it is to look for other things. You'll find something new to strive for and you can be happy that you're still on the road to something. Not your original plan, of course, but at least you've got SOMETHING. It's better than sitting and doing nothing. If you do that, that emptiness isn't going to go away, I assure you. Good luck with it! ^-^

[Blightmare]

I actually suggest you get a second opinion from another doctor if possible. From what I understand having medical anxiety and medical ADHD isn't actually possible since they affect the same parts of the brain. (may have interpreted that wrong when my psychologist told me that) Generally ADHD can lead to anxiety-like symptoms due to stress created by having trouble focusing when you need/want to. And unless you've experienced any traumatic events (I won't pry if you have) but you shouldn't have PTSD before any service. (Yes I'm aware that you can get PTSD without being in the military.)

 

All in all, I suggest you get a second opinion and keep your head high. PTSD can be overcome and if you can learn some coping methods for ADHD and anxiety you should be able to still qualify. And as much as no one ever wants to hear it, keep yourself open to new possibilities. You may yet still find something you love to do and could even use that ADHD superfocus we can get to your advantage.

 

 

As for me, I myself have been rather withdrawn from social contact lately due to stress. I tend to think far into the future and have given myself anxiety over knowing I'm probably never gonna have a good retirement plan. That combined with the stress of needing to get my fucked up knee fixed, which probably is a life-long problem anyways at this point, I've been kinda a wreck. Damaged cartilage doesn't grow back. It can only be operated on to cause less problems or replaced in surgery. :/

[Meelis13]

i havent been that angry to my 7 year old nephew in a long time...

Today i had important job interview via phone and i said it to my sisters family (as they were visiting). Right in the middle of it, at part where i had to focus to answer questions, he runs in loud as heck and screams. I swear, never before i have wanted so hard to punch a 7 year old. I seriously hope it didnt mess job interview up..

[Doublenature]

I actually suggest you get a second opinion from another doctor if possible. From what I understand having medical anxiety and medical ADHD isn't actually possible since they affect the same parts of the brain. (may have interpreted that wrong when my psychologist told me that) Generally ADHD can lead to anxiety-like symptoms due to stress created by having trouble focusing when you need/want to. And unless you've experienced any traumatic events (I won't pry if you have) but you shouldn't have PTSD before any service. (Yes I'm aware that you can get PTSD without being in the military.)

 

All in all, I suggest you get a second opinion and keep your head high. PTSD can be overcome and if you can learn some coping methods for ADHD and anxiety you should be able to still qualify. And as much as no one ever wants to hear it, keep yourself open to new possibilities. You may yet still find something you love to do and could even use that ADHD superfocus we can get to your advantage.

 

 

As for me, I myself have been rather withdrawn from social contact lately due to stress. I tend to think far into the future and have given myself anxiety over knowing I'm probably never gonna have a good retirement plan. That combined with the stress of needing to get my fucked up knee fixed, which probably is a life-long problem anyways at this point, I've been kinda a wreck. Damaged cartilage doesn't grow back. It can only be operated on to cause less problems or replaced in surgery. :/

 

Well Ive gotten 2 opinions over the years. The first one I got when I was 12 and they told me that I "might" have ADHD.

However, I hated going there so much, so I stopped.

I got diagnosed with PTSD last year actually, I finally went to a "real" shrink (terapeut or whatever its called in english) and she told me that ADHD is certainly a thing for me aswell.

 

Now at this same time I was getting tested for epilepsy (spelling) since I was passing out all the time (Id always get a high pulse, have a hard time breathing and feeling like I was gonna vomit right before it). Doctors called me back after a long time and told me that I do not have epilepsy, but rather anxiety attacks.

At this same time, my dad wanted to talk and he asked me: "Why do you sometimes start twitching and then just stare off into space for 10 seconds? Ive noticed this all your life, but Ive never really gotten around to asking."

Guess what? Anxiety attacks. The scary part about this is that Ive NEVER started twitching and stared off into space. ...until the doctors told me that this is a symptom of the attack. The space staring is my mind sort of shutting off for a brief period and I dont remember the attack, which is really terrifying.

 

I honestly dont have the money for a second (third) opinion, though it would be nice to be sure.

 

Ive never worried over my retirement (mostly because I never planned to live for long), so I usually take everything as it comes, but I can certainly understand why this would get you worried. I think you should probably just take every day as it comes and be sure to save a little each month (thats my plan atleast, but Im no expert)

Also, I got fired for busting my knee a while back, so we're in the same boat, my fellow knee-breaker (and it gets better, but its never as good, mine still hurts, make sure you put weight onto your bad knee even if it hurts a little at first).

 

Aw man, that's gotta suck. I'm really sorry about that. But know, you're really not alone on this one. I wanted to be a pilot when I was younger, hehe. I absolutely planes, and I love flying, every single second of it, even when the weather is shit. Especially when the weather is shit actually. But alas, my vision is absolutely terrible - so I can't be a pilot.

I also wanted to be a pilot when I was younger!

Poor eye-sight and being tall put a stop to that dream, though.

 

But I just... worked on my hobbies and thought of some other things to dream for. You're probably extremely mad and disappointed, it's a very undesirable feeling I'm sure. But the best thing to do about it is to look for other things. You'll find something new to strive for and you can be happy that you're still on the road to something. Not your original plan, of course, but at least you've got SOMETHING. It's better than sitting and doing nothing. If you do that, that emptiness isn't going to go away, I assure you. Good luck with it! ^-^

You know, I actually do have another thing I want to do, and that is to learn how to fix cars and such. My friend's dad said that he'd be happy to teach me as soon as he's on vacation.

 

Thank you both for the answers!

Sorry if I always answer a bit short, its just how I am.

[Heliocentrical]

I've been feeling just bitter, cold and sour towards everything lately. I've had a few instances this week where I've made women almost cry just by talking to them or what I perceive to be just talking to them if that makes sense. My confidence is effectively dead at this point and I'm not sure if I care about changing my attitude or not. I mean that's just how I am naturally. If I'm being nice then I probably fucking hate you and want to spend as little amount of time conversing with you as possible.

[Jeb_CC]

Bunch of replies:

 

i havent been that angry to my 7 year old nephew in a long time...

Today i had important job interview via phone and i said it to my sisters family (as they were visiting). Right in the middle of it, at part where i had to focus to answer questions, he runs in loud as heck and screams. I swear, never before i have wanted so hard to punch a 7 year old. I seriously hope it didnt mess job interview up..

Oh geez. Hope the job thing goes fine for you. Kids will be kids, unfortunately. I'm sure it'll be fine though. The person who interviewed you is still human. I'm sure he/she will figure out none of it was of your planning.

 

You know, I actually do have another thing I want to do, and that is to learn how to fix cars and such. My friend's dad said that he'd be happy to teach me as soon as he's on vacation.

You should do that then! And have fun with it!

 

I've been feeling just bitter, cold and sour towards everything lately. I've had a few instances this week where I've made women almost cry just by talking to them or what I perceive to be just talking to them if that makes sense. My confidence is effectively dead at this point and I'm not sure if I care about changing my attitude or not. I mean that's just how I am naturally. If I'm being nice then I probably fucking hate you and want to spend as little amount of time conversing with you as possible.

Do you know why? And is it something you WANT to change? Sorry for my prying. XP You can ignore me.

 

My own little addition to the thread:

 

I've had a really rough week... but whilst driving down to Hobart, I had some weird as revelation. I must first digress: I have a bunch of adorable fictional characters I've created, and one of them is named Lyle. I play favourites. And he is my favourite. He's so lovable, sweet, kind, just a darlin. But I gave him this backstory... that when he was a teenager he accidentally burned his family's entire estate down. Wasn't his fault, but he completely blames himself for it. His family was extremely upset about it, so Lyle decided to run away and live on his own to avoid talking to his family, thinking he was responsible for it all. Well, I find the similarities between his backstory and my recent week kinda disturbing!

• Both Lyle and I made a big huge mistake. People keep telling me it's not my fault, but I still keep thinking I'm the one to blame.
  
• What happened affects not just us, but everyone around, especially our families.
  
• What happened was unforeseeable.
  
• The guilt is indescribable. I've felt nothing before that surmounts to the current guilt I have.
  
• There's a huge hesitancy to talk to our own parents. I'm sure they'd be kind about it but I just do not want to talk to them about it at all.
  
• Every time somebody reminds me about the little mistake I made, I want to go hide for a year in a dark forest. :I
  
• We don't like talking about it!!

The coincidental...ness of this is very... absurd - seeing as I planned out Lyle's entire backstory, emotions, family and actions way before this past week happened. So by logic, using this trend, my next week will follow what happened to Lyle. I kinda hope not. XD Lyle almost died. But in that moment he found out something cool about himself. So it's a win I guess...

But the fact that I can relate to my own creation is kinda weird. But at least I feel less alone about it all. And I can use this to better develop his character, since I basically feel exactly the same way as he does. :I

 

Sooo...

Summary: Shit but very wtf about it.

[Vapymid]

Jeb, Jassy, darling - it's not your fault. Not in the least. And it definitely won't affect your family at all. It has no bearing on them whatsoever...

 

It's my fault above everyone else and almost equally - your mother's. But no one sane can blame you for any of that. And if anyone tries - I'm going to speak to them... And I'm not going to be nice...

 

Regards

[Jeb_CC]

Jeb, Jassy, darling - it's not your fault. Not in the least. And it definitely won't affect your family at all. It has no bearing on them whatsoever...

 

It's my fault above everyone else and almost equally - your mother's. But no one sane can blame you for any of that. And if anyone tries - I'm going to speak to them... And I'm not going to be nice...

 

Regards

 

Shh shh shh!! Noo... please, it's not your fault. It's my fault more than yours - or anybody else's. I screwed up and you suffer for it. I feel like shit. I'm an idiot for letting it happen the way it did. There's nothing you can do to convince me any other way, so... it's settled. Shhhh... I'll tape your mouth shut, I swear I'll do it!

[Vapymid]

I'll still be able to type... even if you do that.

 

But no, sweetie... there is no way how you can justify blaming yourself for any of that. So you just shouldn't.

 

And in any case - we'll just do it again, properly. All that's happened is that we've lost some time.

 

Regards

[Jeb_CC]

I'll still be able to type... even if you do that.

 

But no, sweetie... there is no way how you can justify blaming yourself for any of that. So you just shouldn't.

 

And in any case - we'll just do it again, properly. All that's happened is that we've lost some time.

 

Regards

Shhhhh, now you're saying too much! I'll friggin' tape your hands to your side! Oh gosh, they're gonna start asking questions... D:

[Zaraki]

Vappy's right. It's not your fault for whatever bad stuff you did,Jeb. At least you're still alive and well. That's what matters.

 

OT:I feel kinda shitty myself. My mouse AND phone broke in a matter of minutes yesterday. A part of the mouse's sensor is gone,my phone's casing and touchscreen are screwed and these ticks won't fucking stop biting me.

[Heliocentrical]

Do you know why? And is it something you WANT to change? Sorry for my prying. XP You can ignore me.

To be honest I don't know, I've felt jaded before but this is different. I've never felt so genuinely destructive and vile before.

[Meelis13]

​Started watching Legend of Korra yesterday. Great show. So why post it in this topic.. well...

 

i am bit creeped out by Legend of Korra now.. See, last episode i saw yesterday had terrorist attack in it (just before i went to sleep). Waking up- terrorists had struck in Nice.

 

okay (well, not okay, as terrorists can go *beep* themselves)

 

So yeah, i just finished watching episode where army takes over city. Go to read news. Boom- coup in Turkey. I havent been this weirded out for long time

 

I mean bloody hell, coincidence or what? (all jokes aside, if spirits start to invade world now, im out)

[Blightmare]

I'm sick right now but in the strangest way. Started last night with stomach aches so bad I was actually on the floor at one point curled up in a ball. After 2 hours of those coming and going they finally stopped. Still felt a little out of it after that so I just went to sleep. Today I've started throwing up even though the previous stuff is gone. I've been okay for a while but my stomach has constantly felt like if I tried to eat anything I'm gonna be sick again, but I'm SUPER HUNGRY and craving all kinds of food right now.

[Meelis13]

that doesnt sound good- maybe your appendix (or however its called in english- that little useless addition in digestion tract) burst? sounds very similar description to few cases i know that have had that happen. Better check in with doctor today (heck, if you are reading it, i suggest go there immideatly), because its very time-critical if it is the case. I dont want to scare you, but if that really is case, we are talking life or death here

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

I dont want to scare you, but if that really is case, we are talking life or death here

Oh God, no pressure then! Fuckin' hell!

 

OT: Even I'm scared now! Worried about Rarity.

[Jeb_CC]

Rarity, please see a doctor. XD

[Blightmare]

that doesnt sound good- maybe your appendix (or however its called in english- that little useless addition in digestion tract) burst? sounds very similar description to few cases i know that have had that happen. Better check in with doctor today (heck, if you are reading it, i suggest go there immideatly), because its very time-critical if it is the case. I dont want to scare you, but if that really is case, we are talking life or death here

No I'm getting over it now. Thankfully it was just a stomach bug. We did the appendix test early (push a finger into the spot and release and check for pain) and I was fine. Able to eat rice now too.

 

Seriously though I've never had a stomach issue like that before. Sorry to scare you all.

 

Biggest annoyance now is seeing my parents come home with steaks for their dinner and my brother and his girlfriend getting tacos and I'm stuck here eating rice. > Damn teases.

[Meelis13]

thats good to hear, but be on guard still just in case. Another test you can try is stand on your toes and then slam your heels on ground. if it hurts there, its appendix.