Share your feelings!

[Seattleite]

For 99% of our history, "cheating" was a concept that didn't exist.

 

Further, why would I be bothered? Am I supposed to feel threatened? Why? She still prefers men and I'm her only man. What do I lose letting her indulge the other 30% or so of her sexuality I can't possibly satisfy? Because it sure seems like I stand to lose a whole lot less than she stands to gain.

[Meelis13]

*sees people discussing relationships. Never been in one. sadly backs away*

[Psychotic Ninja]

Relationships are supposed to be special, something you hold dear, not something you waste. What do you really have if you really don't care if she cheats?

 

Also, the only reason why things like cheating and divorces are more common now (and yes they've existed longer than you may claim) is because being in a relationship/marriage was actually held up as a big deal. We've lost sight of what it really means. For one, you should be in one, looking for marriage.

[Jeb_CC]

*pats Meelis' back* There, there... *hug* One day!

 

Also, Seattleite, whilst your definition of all that might be different and open, just remember that a lot of people don't have those same opinions. I wouldn't be asking; "why should I be bothered?" When 90% of the population would be bothered, and you're not exactly in the majority.

[Heliocentrical]

Seattleite's probably more concerned with the freedom he has within his relationship rather then the actual meaning of it. Relationships don't necessarily need to have a point to them. In fact at times they can be rather pointless.

[Seattleite]

Relationships are supposed to be special, something you hold dear, not something you waste. What do you really have if you really don't care if she cheats?

 

Also, the only reason why things like cheating and divorces are more common now (and yes they've existed longer than you may claim) is because being in a relationship/marriage was actually held up as a big deal. We've lost sight of what it really means. For one, you should be in one, looking for marriage.

 

You clearly understand just about nothing about the topic if you think any of this has ever really existed.

 

1. Marriage is a recent development, only a couple thousand years old. It did not exist for the other hundred and some odd thousand of years of human history.

 

2. Anthropological evidence shows that human relationships were neither lifetime nor exclusive before this point. If a relationship is not exclusive, there is no "cheating".

 

3. Marriage was a business exchange until very recently, less than a century ago in most of the world and in many places still is today. Women were property sold to men by their fathers. That is the reason for the ceremony's entire structure, from the father " giving away" the bride, to the dowry (which is the payment, and is still done in many places), to the clothing she wears (designed to slow her down if she tries to run) and even where everybody stands (the bride stands to the left so the groom can bring his weapon to bear, and the best man is there to back him up, in case things go south). It also wasn't exclusive, men could buy as many wives as they could afford. You are supporting this institution.

 

4. Anthropological evidence shows open relationships that last as long as they need to. Signs of sexual exclusivity are non-existant, and the development of so many human-specific STDs suggests that humans are quite the opposite in nature. Even our genitals themselves reflect this, the head of the human penis is designed to compensate for human females having multiple partners by removing sperm from other recent partners. This is notably NOT a common trait, even other apes lack it, that is strictly a human thing.

 

@Jeb: Most humans today are on your side only because they've forgotten that all humans naturally are on mine. Because my side is the side of not suppressing human nature for no reason other than because a book of bronze age desert fairy tales says to.

 

@Heliocentrical:

I love her, and I think it's stupid that people think this in any way damages that, and even dumber that they don't even know why they believe that. I've been with her for fiftern years. FIFTEEN. I am 23. Our relationship has been open the whole time and honestly it's probably more stable for it. Find me one adult who managed to keep an exclusive relationship since they were eight. I don't think they exist.

Edited March 8, 2016 by Guest (see edit history)

[Binky The Rabbit]

Did she know your girlfriend had a boyfriend? What bothers me here (though it's none of my business) is a seeming lack of transparency, in that you didn't know your girlfriend was sleeping with a lass. It's good to know who's sleeping with whom, for matters such as sexual health. Honesty is always important.

[Seattleite]

Did she know your girlfriend had a boyfriend? What bothers me here (though it's none of my business) is a seeming lack of transparency, in that you didn't know your girlfriend was sleeping with a lass. It's good to know who's sleeping with whom, for matters such as sexual health. Honesty is always important.

 

In order:

Does not seem so, she's been so sick the last week she didn't even remember inviting her, and nobody was lied to here. I read their AIM log, it was almost a week ago when she was running a 104 degree fever, and it never came up. She might have even told me, but she also complained about missing classes (she isn't in school) and thought she was in Nevada at the time.

[Heliocentrical]

@Seattleite I just felt that Psychotic Ninja was being unfair to you. Even though his opinion is in the majority that doesn't make it any less subjective. How you view relationships is your own business as it is for the rest of us. I for instance find relationships to be completely repulsive and I would never willingly enter one. Whether it's natural or not doesn't matter to me. It's simply a view that I feel content with having.

[Jeb_CC]

Yeah, sorry, Seattly, but times are different and sometimes it's best to not growl at people who are adapating to the new laws and ethics. Sure, goes against human nature, whatever. So is all this technology, but nobody gives a total shit. So, don't snap at people who take relationships seriously. Anyway, can we please move this topic onto something else now? I'm starting to get sick of all these disagreements lately.

[Seattleite]

The difference is that technology is good and has a purpose. This exclusivity crap is not. Exclusivity also fits our psychology about as well as abstinence. It isn't taking a relationship serioisly to doom it by making it exclusive. Our brains are not wired for that, it creates a constant temptation to break it up to see other people.

 

I've been with her for fifteen years. As in, since I was EIGHT YEARS OLD, and you're saying it's not serious just because it doesn't follow your arbitrary, unrealistic, detrimental rules. I find that highly insulting.

 

You want to change the subject now? Sure. But you people started in on me, just like every single other time, so don't try to act like it's my fault. I didn't make this an argument.

Edited March 8, 2016 by Guest (see edit history)

[Psychotic Ninja]

And I find it highly insulting that you're saying we're *wrong* because of reasons.

[Seattleite]

And I find it highly insulting that you're saying we're *wrong* because of reasons.

 

You are wrong, and I gave reasons. You want to drop it, fine, but if you don't want to drop it make an actual argument.

[Psychotic Ninja]

I *have*. You're just saying it's bullshit because "it wasn't always exclusive".

[Seattleite]

I *have*. You're just saying it's bullshit because "it wasn't always exclusive".

 

If you had read my post, you would have found several reasons it's bullshit. That's one. And that's the least important one, too.

[Jeb_CC]

Shhhhhhhhhhhh...

Why is it that everything I say, you have to fight against, Seattleite? You know, if something is there, it doesn't need to be your only life goal to respond to it with your honest debative opinion. Nobody starts anything with you. You start things with people. You're the one who takes someone's description of their view, and turn it into an aggressive "you're wrong" statement. Stooooooop.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Well, I was about to respond to this and took too long to construct my post, and suddenly it's kicking off.

 

I don't think it's wrong to be either exclusive or inclusive. It's all personal preference. It's starting to sound all natureVnuture, which isn't helping. Seattleite doesn't do exclusivity, and that's fine. I'm likely exclusive, and that's fine too.

[Heliocentrical]

Yeah, can we just agree that the way we view relationships is entirely subjective? It's very clear that we all have differing opinions on the subject and I suggest we leave on a peaceful note rather then continuing this.

[Seattleite]

That's not true, Jeb. That's not true, and you can look back one page and see it's not true, right at the bottom of the page. This was made an argument by Psychotic Ninja, NOT me. Just like last time it was Randomguy, NOT me. And that time too, you could look back one page and see who it was.

 

Every time it follows the same formula. I express an unpopular opinion, somebody starts in on me about it, I defend my position, then you act like it's my fault for having an opinion. And it's clearly not even-handed because the one time it happened the other way around you STILL blamed me.

 

I didn't want an argument, Jeb. When I want an argument I go to serious topics, or preferably a different board. That isn't why I came here. I came here to share an experience, and I would have rather not had it turned into an argument.

 

@Heliocentrical: I'm of a mind with you on this. I never wanted an argument in the first place.

 

Somebody, change the subject. I got nothing.

[Jeb_CC]

He made a point. He wasn't directly saying you're wrong. >.> You turn things into an argument. All you have to do is say; "Okay, your opinion. I have mine." You don't even have to reply! It's like freaking magic. See that "submit" button? All you gotta do is... Not press it. It's wonderful, and I think it's something just about everyone should do once in a while. You can't say you didn't want to start an argument because you're the one replying to one sentence posts with paragraphs and paragraphs of information to use against that person's opinion. You're doing it now actually. Stop replying to me. X3 I've told you three times to hush now, because I know you'll just reply to people more and more if I don't tell you to stop. You can't see it, but everyone else can, you're the one who takes posts and turns them into uneeded debates. So shh... Please...

 

OT: Mixed. My phone battery is gonna die soon and I still have an hour of school to get through. Aw.