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[Blightmare]

OT: Tired and frustrated. This is one of the worst bouts of insomnia I think I've had. 4 days on 3 hours of restless sleep and it's starting it take it's toll. I'm having trouble remembering things when i talk. Like I'll forget the name of someone I just said seconds after saying it or I'll trail off becuase I forgot what I was saying WHILE talking about it.

 

Then there's the hallucinations. Only audio thankfully. Mostly I keep thinking I'm hearing background noise. Like i walked out to the kitchen and thought someone was watching TV in the livingroom cuz I could hear it but no else is home right now and the living room is dark. On top of that I hear distant crowds, kinda like the low drone you hear at an outdoor gathering except farhter away.

 

I hate this please let me sleep brain.

[Seattleite]

Tired. That is all.

[Jeb_CC]

http://m.themercury.com.au/news/tasmania/a-serious-single-vehicle-crash-in-devonport-has-forced-some-road-closures/story-fnj4f7k1-1227577986865

 

Earlier in the day... I passed by a street where a car had run off the road, powerline pole bent at a very sharp angle. I saw paramedics giving a man CPR - and finding out the guy didn't make it... Reminds me that life is so fragile. Aw...

So... Feeling a little sad at the moment... Poor guy.

[BTGBullseye]

Surprisingly up today... Drove for quite some time in the rain. Rain makes me feel good on the inside, I wish it would rain all the time, but stay at a nice 60°F-70°F temp.

[Zaraki]

Angry.Nothing but Anger.Hate.Depression.Frustration of said Anger.

 

I'm Fucking.FURIOUS.

 

Fuck this shit.FUCK IT ALL.

 

I want to write a suicide note.

[Jeb_CC]

Angry.Nothing but Anger.Hate.Depression.Frustration of said Anger.

 

I'm Fucking.FURIOUS.

 

Fuck this shit.FUCK IT ALL.

 

I want to write a suicide note.

 

Hey, hey, hey. Don't worry dude. ^_^ Whatever you're going through, it'll be over before you know it. You'll look back and think how silly you were for even considering such a thing! :3 Trust me. I've been there. *pats back*

[Zaraki]

I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore,Jeb.

 

I've been made fun of,ridiculed,shunned and humiliated all my life because i'm different.

I just wanted to have REAL and TRUE friends.

BUT NO.

It seems i've been trying to make friends with the wrong kind of people.

I've never fitted in ANYWHERE.

In fact,i don't think i've been fit for this already fucked up and corrupt country since I WAS BORN.

Mom said I had some kind of problem as a baby.Some kind of mental/psychological/social problem.I made up nonsensical words very often and I was very angry when provoked.I couldn't make a normal conversation.

My parents never sent me to kindergarden because of that problem.

AND I BELIEVE I STILL HAVE THAT FUCKING PROBLEM AND IT'S FUCKING OBVIOUS.

Why was I born this way?I'm weird.I'm crazy.I'm different.I'm weak.I'm pathetic......I wish that I was born a better person.

I would rather die than lose my mind enduring any more of this suffering.

I just want to end it.I'll die alone.

[Jeb_CC]

Do you not have friends here? Mate, you won't die alone. So what if you have a problem? Lots of us have problems. X3 But we're overcoming it. It's hard, but we're getting there! Pretty sure I suffer from insanity sometimes. X3 But that's a whole different story. If you think it's that bad, a psychologist might be able to help? But who knows, I'm not sure what you want or what you like. Just do what you want to do to cope, that doesn't involve harming yourself in any way. Or others.

You're better than you think, you know. You mean a lot to some people. Just last till the end of school... and you'll find yourself with many more opportunities. You might not think that's there anything for you, that you're worth nothing. But that's a big fat lie that our horrible self-harming minds try to shove down our throats. X3 Seriously, just wait and you'll see. All of the problems you have, they'll go away.

[Seattleite]

I am so tired I feel drunk. And not "buzzed", I mean like actually drunk. Seriously drunk. Like, I need to go pray to the porcelain throne drunk. Just from a lack of sleep alone. And I can't fucking sleep.

[BTGBullseye]

I just don't know what the fuck to do anymore,Jeb.

 

I've been made fun of,ridiculed,shunned and humiliated all my life because i'm different.

I just wanted to have REAL and TRUE friends.

BUT NO.

It seems i've been trying to make friends with the wrong kind of people.

I've never fitted in ANYWHERE.

In fact,i don't think i've been fit for this already fucked up and corrupt country since I WAS BORN.

Mom said I had some kind of problem as a baby.Some kind of mental/psychological/social problem.I made up nonsensical words very often and I was very angry when provoked.I couldn't make a normal conversation.

My parents never sent me to kindergarden because of that problem.

AND I BELIEVE I STILL HAVE THAT FUCKING PROBLEM AND IT'S FUCKING OBVIOUS.

Why was I born this way?I'm weird.I'm crazy.I'm different.I'm weak.I'm pathetic......I wish that I was born a better person.

I would rather die than lose my mind enduring any more of this suffering.

I just want to end it.I'll die alone.

Dude, if you can get to Colorado, I guarantee a place you can fit in. You definitely have friends here, and if you need someone, we're here for you.

 

OT: Feeling decent... I have my new Sennheiser HD429s headphones/headset, just arrived 20 minutes ago. I got this $90 for $40, so happy about that.

[Jeb_CC]

Internet, I love you so much. *kisses*

I Google search an annoying problem I've been having for a few months now, only took 10 minutes to fix it! My phone wasn't letting me transfer any files to the PC. Apparently there's a 'developer options' tab that's hidden in the Android device. XP It's cool. I gained access to that, and just reset the USB configuration inside that and it works now! HOORAY!

OT: Feeling pretty glad I didn't have to spend an hour fixing this. X3

[BTGBullseye]

Yes, dev options are fun... Try looking at some of the touch response options some time!

 

OT: Quite good actually... Watching 'Go To Hell' reminded me of the Rave Gun from Battlezone... Listening to its music is a major mood improver for me.

[Jeb_CC]

Yes, dev options are fun... Try looking at some of the touch response options some time!

 

OT: Quite good actually... Watching 'Go To Hell' reminded me of the Rave Gun from Battlezone... Listening to its music is a major mood improver for me.

 

I found a setting called; "Stay Awake - Screen will never sleep while charging." This to me sounds really badass and sinister, especially after watching the latest Game Dungeon. XD Like, you're torturing your phone by never letting it sleep. It always has the energy to stay awake, but it has to keep working 24/7 whilst it's charging - displaying the screen, running whatever tasks is currently on display, no breaks. Poor phone. XD I've actually been looking for a setting like this for the past two weeks, and now that I found it, I dunno if I want it anymore. XP I don't want to put it through hell! Sounds so cruel!

I fiddled with some touch settings but I was so mesmerized by the visual effects that I almost messed my whole phone up from tapping on random shit. XD Gonna leave it alone now...

 

OT: Feeling better than before... I want to get some drawing done today, that'd be pretty nice. But I'm also writhing in agony and misery so I dunno. X3

[BTGBullseye]

I found a setting called; "Stay Awake - Screen will never sleep while charging." This to me sounds really badass and sinister, especially after watching the latest Game Dungeon. XD Like, you're torturing your phone by never letting it sleep. It always has the energy to stay awake, but it has to keep working 24/7 whilst it's charging - displaying the screen, running whatever tasks is currently on display, no breaks. Poor phone. XD I've actually been looking for a setting like this for the past two weeks, and now that I found it, I dunno if I want it anymore. XP

You can always quick-press the power button to turn off the screen when you aren't using it, all it does is turn off the auto-off feature in the display settings when the phone is charging. I always have it on. (this explanation is for those that think it's a bad feature, or think you're being serious about torturing your phone)

 

Still feeling good listening to that Battlezone music on a loop.

[Jeb_CC]

Fair enough... I didn't think it was a bad feature. X3 I'd love to use it for like, overnight sorta thing. But I'm afraid keeping it awake for that long won't exactly be 'healthy' for it.

OT: I don't even know. I'm a huge massive MESS. I need more time... Need time for sleep, for relationships, for school. *whines* I'm going to die this week. X3 I'm gonna pay HARD for the stuff I didn't do earlier in the year. Fuck.

[Zaraki]

You will be fine.Just relax.

OT:Tired and sleepy.Get ready bed,here I come.

[BTGBullseye]

But I'm afraid keeping it awake for that long won't exactly be 'healthy' for it.

The piece of hardware that fails the first in all phones that aren't externally damaged, is ALWAYS the battery. On Android, you really should restart the phone every week or two, but nothing else is needed for maintenance.

 

OT: Feeling rather discouraged concerning the job situation... Just got a copy of some internal memos of a couple different companies that do a 'personality test' prior to employment. (this includes WalMart) If you're a good person, you actually have to lie, and say you'll steal from them if given the chance, just to be considered for employment.

[Jeb_CC]

Having a Nexus 5, I'm especially scared of harming the insides of it. I've already had a scare with losing the vibration abilities of it, and even now, it still occasionally plays up. I'm scared of this because these things are built like ROCKS. It's not possible to open it without great freaking effort. I still don't know how to open the case. Of course, I never have no need to. Unless it breaks. But I assume I could get the local phone tech shop to replace the battery for me if it dies? I dislike doing this stuff myself. X3 They're so fragile!!

 

Sorry about your job situation by the way. Must be annoying.

 

OT: Drowsy... And slightly annoyed. My mother woke me up from my nap to tell me off for not hanging up the washing. ...Even though I DID hang up the washing. She just didn't check. Thanks.

[BTGBullseye]

But I assume I could get the local phone tech shop to replace the battery for me if it dies?

Nope... Not replaceable.

 

Technically it's possible, it's just that it'd be cheaper to get a new phone instead.

[Seattleite]

"I know, I shouldn't be awake right now either. But I just wanted to take the minute I'm not supposed to be awake and make sure you remember I love you."

 

I can't summarize in words. This site needs a heart emoticon.