Vent

[Blightmare]

you can't be a jolly ol' chap 100% of the time.

 

Challenge accepted.

[Scorpia]

its alright dude, the "snicker" line lead me to believe that you was laughing at me, so i took it outta context, so yea were cool...FOR NOW!! lol no seriously though.

[Blightmare]

Glad to see that was worked out favorably.

 

I do have a lengthy rant about Earthlink, my terrible internet provider, but I'll leave it at this:

 

If Earthlink were to go bankrupt and disappear, I'd host the biggest party in the world.

[Srake]

its alright dude, the "snicker" line lead me to believe that you was laughing at me, so i took it outta context, so yea were cool...FOR NOW!! lol no seriously though.

 

So hugs? Right?

Oh and I do the /snicker thing instead of a "LOL" just because I like to be original.

And I was laughing at my own joke like an Asshole. So I can understand why'd you be upset.

Edited August 8, 2011 by Guest (see edit history)

[Epsilon]

And I was laughing at my own joke like a boss. So I can understand why'd you be upset.

I'm sorry. I had to.

[Blue]

For me it is the cause of some upset that some forum users have made a point of indicating to others the technicality or specificness in the timbre and method by which I conduct my behavior on this forum. Aka "Some people seem to me have called me out on how I post."

 

I have been privately communicating with some users and they think that my "seriousness" is perfectly acceptable, and indeed may partly find it enjoyable or adding to my charm. I can appreciate this. However what I greatly find consternating is how often it happens that I will post something of interest to myself that is more informative or specific (which may or may not be literally serious) and other people look at that post and just stand there almost dumfounded with a poker face in silence, because they have nothing to add to the conversation that is at that depth, nothing to supplement the comment with, or no position to stand in contrary and thus an argument or debate cannot be formed.

Thus my method of posting either leaves people with changing the subject with escapist randomness, or not posting. Either way it kills the conversation and possibly as a consequence can doom the thread to disinterest. This is my frustration equally with how I think and write, as well as how others contribute to conversation in parallel. Whether the fault is mine or others is up for debate. But it makes me sad and worried as a member of this forum whenever I say something and then no one else posts. I don't like being a thread killer. It makes me feel like I am some sort of poisonous presence in the forum, at some subsinct level.

It makes me worried to the point of frustration with both myself and how I consider myself, and sad almost to the point of anger.

[Srake]

^Srake's Version: I talk with big words. People don't know what to say afterward. People leave thread and don't come back until the necromancer does. Why do I do this? Do I smell? /breakdown

 

That's what I got from that.

 

Edit: There now this thread won't die. No need to thank me, Blue!

[Scorpia]

to Blue: it's only because people are intimidated (this is purely speculation on my part) by the intelligence in your posts. they think, by reading what you write, that if they sound un-knowledgeable, then you're going to "turn your nose to them" sort of speak. intelligence, by instinct, is met with intellect, and when one cannot find equal intellect, they find a way out. I.E your aforementioned randomness/change of subject. if i couldn't understand you, i can more than happily ask you what you mean or ask you to dumb it down if i had anything productive to add to your point. although admittedly half of your posts i find out of my league in an equal knowledge stand point. i.e your more technical posts(your posts about modeling).

 

to srake: not really big words..his sentence structure is sometimes difficult to follow...but most of his terminology i can understand, some based solely on context analysis, but most of which isn't too difficult to understand.

[Blue]

Astute. Thanks Billy, I'll keep that in mind for the future.

^Srake's Version: I talk with big words. People don't know what to say afterward. People leave thread and don't come back until the necromancer does. Why do I do this? Do I smell? /breakdown

 

That's what I got from that.

 

Edit: There now this thread won't die. No need to thank me, Blue!

Nuts to you for not helping.

 

I am going to speak with unparalleled sesquipedilian eloquence whenever I am posting directly to you for this.

[Scorpia]

yea i like using "big words", difficult sentence structure, etc. not for the reason to sound pretentious, or superior but for reasoning im disinclined with sharing. im found with the same kinda frustration with the usual silence, the "mmhmm yea" or the "stop trying to make me sound stupid" that those responses gave me ample time to think of "why that must be."

 

You're very welcome Blue.

 

Blue's translation for Srake: thanks for nothing, im making myself more difficult to understand when speaking with you, prepare a dictionary, you're pretty much hereby deemed adequately screwed. btw sesquipedalian is a poetry term, or used in a poetic title, im not sure.

 

to blue, im fairly sure you misspelled "sesquipedalian" at least that's what Google says, which i didn't use to find out what that word meant...honest

[Blue]

It's latin for "twenty feet long". Also, I misspelled it, it's only supposed to have two i's, not three. The second i should be an a.

[Blightmare]

@blue

 

I don't mind so much that you prefer to talk that way, it's just that not everyone is hard wired to understand it. I'm one of them. I am severely Attention Deficit for one(no seriously. If it wasn't for medication, I would have dropped out in the 7th grade.) so I just don't have the patience to sit through long posts with advanced language if it can be summed up in a much more add/learning disability manner.

 

Also, before I go on, I have to say that another way I'm hard wired is that I have a very difficult time conveying what I see in my mind. I can know what I want to say, but find myself lacking in the ability to say it in an understandable manner, so forgive me if the following seems contradictory, broken, or flawed in any way.

 

I have a bit of a learning disability. Never been diagnosed for it but I know for certain given that thing's need to be explained clearly or I am unable to make out what it is they're trying to convey to me(assuming the speaker is being too figurative in their explanation) meaning the infamous "big words" have to be kept to a minimum for me. in classes, I'm often asking the instructor what they mean by what they just said, followed by me giving examples of what I think they might be saying, just so I can find a way to "visualize" what it is they mean, and requiring multiple different explanations of it. Kinda like I'm building my understanding of the subject piece by piece.

 

Now, how this relates to your posts. I'll put it bluntly: I physically cannot understand most of what you say. I'm not intimidated, annoyed, or afraid of looking stupid, I just cannot understand something so far from the basic forms of the explanation. in fact, I'm a tad jealous that there are people out there so intellectually advanced, while I'm always reduced to having to have thing's put in a "for dummies" term.

 

This is why I steer clear of the serious debates section. I'm constantly misunderstanding posts or unable to understand what it is they're talking about.

 

I'm not saying stop posting like that. if that's the way you want to post, by all means, do so. But just know that there's a good reason why I often have to ignore or skip over them.

 

but don't get me wrong, I;m not a blazing idiot and I'm not stupid. I get some of the highest grades in my classes, but that's because I know of my problem and have self methods I use between classes to help me stay on par with the rest.

 

For all I know, I may be high functioning autistic.

 

 

 

heh, not quite venting but I felt it needed to be said and this offered the perfect chance to say it. :/

 

Edit:

 

Some signs of high functioning autism:

lack of skill in interacting with others

little understanding of the abstract uses of language, such as humor or give-and-take in a conversation

obsessive interest in specific items or information

strong reactions to textures, smells, sounds, sights, or other stimuli that others might not even notice, such as a flickering light

 

Unlike people with other forms of autism, people with high-functioning autism or Asperger's syndrome want to be involved with others. They simply don't know how to go about it. They may not be able to understand others' emotions. They may not read facial expressions or body language well. As a result, they may be teased and often feel like social outcasts. The unwanted social isolation can lead to anxiety and depression.

 

Aside from the depressed part, that sounds about right for me. Why do I get the feeling that my parents would scoff if I said "mom, dad, I may be high functioning autistic"?

[Scorpia]

thank you, Google helped with the spelling, not so much the meaning, it gave me examples of poetry...hence why i thought it was a poetry term. anyway i felt you should be informed of your arbitrary misspelling.

 

to blight: to get this out of the way because of slight guilt, i never meant to call anyone stupid, that's just my understanding from personal happenings...parents are lead to believe by media, or gossip with other parents, or wherever, that all children are attention seekers, you saying you have any "disability" or "shortcoming" are instantly translated to: "im making this up to get attention" that may not be the case for your parents, but that may be why you're hesitant to tell them.

[Blightmare]

to blight: to get this out of the way because of slight guilt, i never meant to call anyone stupid, that's just my understanding from personal happenings...parents are lead to believe by media, or gossip with other parents, or wherever, that all children are attention seekers, you saying you have any "disability" or "shortcoming" are instantly translated to: "im making this up to get attention" that may not be the case for your parents, but that may be why you're hesitant to tell them.

 

I know you didn't mean that. This is just that from what I was able to understand in Blue's post, and I may still be wrong, for reasons just stated(:S), He seems annoyed that people are calling him out on his posts and the level of sophistication in them. I just felt that I needed to say why I often skip over them and it got rather lengthy. And I think my biggest concern for telling that to my parents is more of a "you're jumping to conclusions" reaction. I've gotten it before for other things that concerned me, so...

 

That little comment about the me not being stupid or anything was actually added after I read over my post and realized I was making myself sound quite dumb. :S

[Scorpia]

alright good, i thought that was subtlety directed at me. thanks for clearing that up.

[BTGBullseye]

@blue

 

I don't mind so much that you prefer to talk that way, it's just that not everyone is hard wired to understand it. I'm one of them. I am severely Attention Deficit for one(no seriously. If it wasn't for medication, I would have dropped out in the 7th grade.) so I just don't have the patience to sit through long posts with advanced language if it can be summed up in a much more add/learning disability manner.

 

Also, before I go on, I have to say that another way I'm hard wired is that I have a very difficult time conveying what I see in my mind. I can know what I want to say, but find myself lacking in the ability to say it in an understandable manner, so forgive me if the following seems contradictory, broken, or flawed in any way.

 

I have a bit of a learning disability. Never been diagnosed for it but I know for certain given that thing's need to be explained clearly or I am unable to make out what it is they're trying to convey to me(assuming the speaker is being too figurative in their explanation) meaning the infamous "big words" have to be kept to a minimum for me. in classes, I'm often asking the instructor what they mean by what they just said, followed by me giving examples of what I think they might be saying, just so I can find a way to "visualize" what it is they mean, and requiring multiple different explanations of it. Kinda like I'm building my understanding of the subject piece by piece.

 

Now, how this relates to your posts. I'll put it bluntly: I physically cannot understand most of what you say. I'm not intimidated, annoyed, or afraid of looking stupid, I just cannot understand something so far from the basic forms of the explanation. in fact, I'm a tad jealous that there are people out there so intellectually advanced, while I'm always reduced to having to have thing's put in a "for dummies" term.

 

This is why I steer clear of the serious debates section. I'm constantly misunderstanding posts or unable to understand what it is they're talking about.

 

I'm not saying stop posting like that. if that's the way you want to post, by all means, do so. But just know that there's a good reason why I often have to ignore or skip over them.

 

but don't get me wrong, I;m not a blazing idiot and I'm not stupid. I get some of the highest grades in my classes, but that's because I know of my problem and have self methods I use between classes to help me stay on par with the rest.

 

For all I know, I may be high functioning autistic.

 

 

 

heh, not quite venting but I felt it needed to be said and this offered the perfect chance to say it. :/

 

Edit:

 

Some signs of high functioning autism:

lack of skill in interacting with others

little understanding of the abstract uses of language, such as humor or give-and-take in a conversation

obsessive interest in specific items or information

strong reactions to textures, smells, sounds, sights, or other stimuli that others might not even notice, such as a flickering light

 

Unlike people with other forms of autism, people with high-functioning autism or Asperger's syndrome want to be involved with others. They simply don't know how to go about it. They may not be able to understand others' emotions. They may not read facial expressions or body language well. As a result, they may be teased and often feel like social outcasts. The unwanted social isolation can lead to anxiety and depression.

 

Aside from the depressed part, that sounds about right for me. Why do I get the feeling that my parents would scoff if I said "mom, dad, I may be high functioning autistic"?

Actually that sounds remarkably similar to me... (ADHD for me though) Except a friend of my family was an English teacher, so I can understand the complex writing used by Blue.

 

I also have an impossible time with putting complex ideas to text...

[Srake]

I should probably stop posting in this thread since its only making people mad at me... Blue I usually have no problem understanding what you say. So if you really want to go to all that that trouble I'll play along.

 

This is my last post in this thread for awhile, cause I have inadvertently brought me nothing but trouble.

[Doom Shepherd]

I have an emotional disconnect when it comes to relating to other people. I do not rage, or cry, or panic, or do anything much when anybody gives me news that they feel should upset or disturb me.

 

This has its upside, because it means that I am often seen as someone else's "island of stability" when everything else is going to crap. My gf has said this to me numerous times. My mom said it after my dad's heart attack.

 

However, there is also a serious downside. I alienate other people. In fact, the other night, this same gf says that she can no longer "feel any passion" towards me, because it seems that my emotional reactions are all... mechanical. And they kind of are.

 

But the worst part is... I did this to myself. Long ago, I realized that I had a extremely nasty temper. So bad, in fact, that it might keep me from being able to interact with "civilized" people. My emotional swings were sudden, intense, and violent.

 

So I chose the only avenue I thought was open to me... the Vulcan Way. All the negative emotions got shunted into a little box where I could deal with them where no one else would see. Side effect: everything else is suppressed, too. And I've done it for so long now that I have no idea if or how I can reverse the process.

 

 

tl;dr: Crap.

[BTGBullseye]

But the worst part is... I did this to myself. Long ago, I realized that I had a extremely nasty temper. So bad, in fact, that it might keep me from being able to interact with "civilized" people. My emotional swings were sudden, intense, and violent.

 

So I chose the only avenue I thought was open to me... the Vulcan Way. All the negative emotions got shunted into a little box where I could deal with them where no one else would see. Side effect: everything else is suppressed, too. And I've done it for so long now that I have no idea if or how I can reverse the process.

Same for me... Best way to get over it: Be actively psychotic.

[J.C.]

Oh my. People seem to be a little down today. Well, I would like to point out the following.

 

@Blue: although English is not my primary language, I don't find your posts particularly difficult to follow. A bit convoluted sometimes perhaps, but that's just your style (i.e. a direct reflection of a complex, multilevel thought process). Don't be discouraged by the lack of a widespread response to your inputs. I for once will always try to reply and contribute, if the subject is of interest to me of course, I don't just post for the sake of posting. Also, the invitation to join me in a signature game (in this one or the others that will follow) is of course always open.

 

@Doom Shepherd: someone once said I had the emotional depth of a puddle (and a shallow one at that). Also, some guys at the office joked a few years ago that I did not go out for lunch, I plugged myself to an USB port to recharge. So I understand what you're saying. But! I've seen your picture (the one where you have a big bear smile) and read your posts: I think you're OK. It's not that you're encased in a 2 foot thick titanium-niobium alloy armour: you and I are probably the oldest guys in this forums, we've been beaten a little longer by life, and this it's only the natural shell that comes with it. The soft creamy center is still there.

 

@BTGbullseye: you can try to get all the negative rep you want, ask the mods for a "flame me" thread or wonder if anyone's willing to ship you to an active combat zone, but you don't fool me, my friend. You're one the good guys, like it or not. Oh, also, I give you credit for the 2 foot thick titanium-niobium alloy armour thing.