Vent

[Psychotic Ninja]

So, I had a guy drop off his clothes at the literal last minute last night. Yeah, please don't do that. I even had the 'open' sign turned off.

[Blightmare]

Well looks like it's time to add Wall Street Journal to my list of "not worth a spot on the bottom of my shoe"

 

Libel and slander. Real classy. I hope you guys get sued out of business.

[ThePest179]

Well looks like it's time to add Wall Street Journal to my list of "not worth a spot on the bottom of my shoe"

 

Libel and slander. Real classy. I hope you guys get sued out of business.

 

This is about Pewdiepie, isn't it? I agree with you wholeheartedly on the issue; it's no fucking wonder why Trump can call the media "fake news" when they completely fail at doing their fucking job at every possibly opportunity.

[longliveprose]

You know people who are a little too proud of how they are?

What if they FUCKING BOMBED THE SHIT OUT OF UNIVERSITY PROPERTY?!

Having too much pride is what makes the Alt Left a reality, too much of who they are is mapped onto what fate rolled when filling out their character sheet, leaving entitled little pricks who think it's alright to firebomb cars and SHOOT FIREWORKS AT BERKELEY BUILDINGS because someone they disagree with is talking there.

[Jeb_CC]

Apparently I was 'sexually assaulted' by an 8 year old. XD What?

 

Was walking to the shops earlier and a group of kids walk past. One of the kids grabs my breast, another one asks me for a cigarette, and the other one just shoves their shoulder against mine. Like... wtf? These were.. 7-9 year old... KIDS. That's probably the worst part about it, that they're kids... so there's shit all I can do about it. If the dude was like... 19 year olds, I could totally get him involved with the police. lol

I'm just... today's been such a weird fucking day. I really don't know how to feel about... any of it. >.>

 

EDIT: On the plus side, he said my breasts were big... which they're really not but like... XD Whatever, I'll take the compliment I guess.

[Blightmare]

^ They probably thought they were hot shit. "Little shits" is more like it though.

@Pest: Pretty much. I don't really watch him but actually watching the video's their "evidence" was pulled from reveals just how much they're blatantly lying. Hell some of the footage they used out of context was from a skit of him making fun of how the media likes to take things out of context. The irony is painful.

 

OT:

 

"Doctor I'm sick."

"can you tell me what's wrong?"

"no fuck you fix me"

 

Why is this still an unironic thing? How do these people survive with such a significant lack of critical thought?

[Zaraki]

Apparently I was 'sexually assaulted' by an 8 year old. XD What?

 

Was walking to the shops earlier and a group of kids walk past. One of the kids grabs my breast, another one asks me for a cigarette, and the other one just shoves their shoulder against mine. Like... wtf? These were.. 7-9 year old... KIDS. That's probably the worst part about it, that they're kids... so there's shit all I can do about it. If the dude was like... 19 year olds, I could totally get him involved with the police. lol

I'm just... today's been such a weird fucking day. I really don't know how to feel about... any of it. >.>

 

Not surprising. I've seen some kids like that back in Bulgaria.Really rude and unusually perverted. Bad parenting is all I'm gonna say. -_-

 

OT:Still waiting to move to a new house and hardly any progress so far. Since my dad and a friend of ours came to visit us,the house is full of activity,I got hardly any peaceful moments and I've been sleeping on a couch(which isn't that bad actually) and I've already lost my patience. I just hope we move ASAP. I just don't know how much longer I can take this.

 

EDIT:Guess I gotta wait another week it seems.Fingers crossed.

Edited February 21, 2017 by Guest (see edit history)

[Meelis13]

I am literally starting to lose it. As always, my family blames me for literally everything, no matter if i was involved or not or even aware of the event nor i shouldnt have been. Furthermore, everything i do fails either because i manage to mess it up somehow or for circumstances not under my control. Speaking of control, my family members want to control me (and i seriously wish it was just me being paranoid)... Wanting me to go to shitty job (the one i quit because mental abuse was just too much), constantly lashing on me, forcing me to sit trough hours of "talks" with them that just consist on them just telling me what to do and how they had it worse, how other people have it worse, with when im trying to say something its always demolished, going trough my stuff (and not seeing anything wrong with it)... They know that i care about family and use it against me..

Like that wouldnt be enough, i am looking for new job, but every time i am starting to get somewhere (most often they find another or for non-IT jobs im "overqualified"), they manage to convince me to stop it. Like said, they'd prefer if i'd go to same shitty job i was before but i feel if i go there i really am going over the edge.

And to top it all off, my grandmothers health is declining fast.

So all this has come to point where my muscles twitch at random moments (you know, the small jerk feeling), i most often get panic attack before falling asleep (not always, but on averate 4 times out of 7) and to even muster a smile or talk to someone takes incredible effort.

[Jeb_CC]

I am literally starting to lose it. As always, my family blames me for literally everything, no matter if i was involved or not or even aware of the event nor i shouldnt have been. Furthermore, everything i do fails either because i manage to mess it up somehow or for circumstances not under my control. Speaking of control, my family members want to control me (and i seriously wish it was just me being paranoid)... Wanting me to go to shitty job (the one i quit because mental abuse was just too much), constantly lashing on me, forcing me to sit trough hours of "talks" with them that just consist on them just telling me what to do and how they had it worse, how other people have it worse, with when im trying to say something its always demolished, going trough my stuff (and not seeing anything wrong with it)... They know that i care about family and use it against me..

Like that wouldnt be enough, i am looking for new job, but every time i am starting to get somewhere (most often they find another or for non-IT jobs im "overqualified"), they manage to convince me to stop it. Like said, they'd prefer if i'd go to same shitty job i was before but i feel if i go there i really am going over the edge.

And to top it all off, my grandmothers health is declining fast.

So all this has come to point where my muscles twitch at random moments (you know, the small jerk feeling), i most often get panic attack before falling asleep (not always, but on averate 4 times out of 7) and to even muster a smile or talk to someone takes incredible effort.

Oh man, I know how you feel. Parents can be royal pains in the arse. I would love nothing more than to have more control of my life but I can't, and it pisses me off. I hate having to hear my parents ramble on and on, mainly my dad, who will just not let anything fucking go. It sucks. If you can ever afford yourself a break, you should go get it. Also talking to friends helps too, rather than letting everything boil up inside you. I know we're not friends on Steam anymore but if you want to talk you can invite me and we can have a chat.

[Doublenature]

Im sorry guys, here I go again. This is the only place that I can vent. Im just happy that this page exists. Ive missed AF. I wish I could say something more, but I dont want to get preachy and play the victim. Im just gonna try to hang around the forums and actually help you guys, as you've helped me so many times.

There is ALOT of anger in this. If you're already feeling down, please dont read this. I dont want to make anyone feel any worse.

 

 

Im so fucking burned out. Everyone treats me like Im Dr. Phil.

Everyone I meet seem to have a shit ton of problems they can just dump right in my arms and go away. Forget about me sharing anything, though.

 

A little run-down of whats been going on:

1. Work. My job is so fucking depressing. How can we let old people live like this? We have some of the worlds highest taxes and yet, our elderly live alone, depressed and dont have money for anything. They can barely afford food. I go home to about 20 elderly (and some disabled younger ones, too) a day, and I usually have 10 minutes for each person. I usually only have time to make food for them and then I gotta leave. I try to get to work early, I usually skip my breaks so that I can give them more time, but the schedule doesnt allow it, so you gotta run to the next person. The people I work with are mostly women in their 50s who've worked the same job WAY too long. They go have angry outbursts at the elderly because they are slow. They treat their coworkers like shit, so I couldnt keep being nice and helpful at work, I had to scream at some of my colleagues because they are so fucking dense and always try to blame me for their own faults. Stop talking shit and get some real problems, you middle-upperclass fucking morons. Oh, and get a different proffession where you dont have to care for anyone, go get locked up in a warehouse somewhere so that people dont have to deal with your bullshit.

 

2. Economy. Im burned out, I cant work, even if I want to (which I do...) so my economy is going to hell, I might not make rent.

 

3. "Friends". So I have a few newer-ish friends, and we usually hang out. However, whenever we're all gathered, they just want to do one thing: smoke weed. I dont want to fucking smoke weed, I want to hang out with my friends. I want to sit and talk shit, watch a movie etc. what the fuck is wrong with people?! "Hey, I got some stuff today, you guys wanna get fucked up?" No, I fucking dont. So they smoke and I sit there watching everyone being retarded. Great.

Im also apperantly everyones psychologist. They dump their problems on me, and rarely I get to share my problems. Told one of these people that I wasnt feeling good (anxiety was through the roof) can you guess what he responded? "Mhmm." Fuck you and your "Mhmm".

I also have to act like a relationship-counselour to 2 people, because they cant talk to eachother, I keep telling them: "Talk to your bf/gf because I cant help!" They dont give a fuck. So I basically told them to go get their shit together.

 

4. Friends. Real ones, this time. My friends girlfriends brother died just a few weeks ago. I try to be supportive but I dont know what the fuck to say... My friends gf just survived cancer, and then she gets hit with this shit? She doesnt deserve this... and I cant fucking help.

 

5. Family. I love my dad, but he does some stupid shit sometimes. He always told me that I cannot work at his store because he would give me special treatment, which I can totally understand. He didnt want me driving any of the cars we had, he kicked me out of the house because I lost my first real job (thats another story, though) and he just thought I was a lazy fat bum. My step-brother works at my dads store, as does his sister. He drives one of our cars, he QUIT his job because it was a little hard or some whiny bullshit, he still lives at home, for FREE. The worst part of all, is that he seems to be living on my dads money. Can you imagine the shame? Living on someone else's fathers money? What a little fucking rat. He seems to think he is hot shit as well because he dresses fancy.

My step-father helped me this autumn, he made me get up at 7 am, eat breakfast with the family and then do EVERYTHING around the house, which was healthy, I lost a ton of weight and I got into routines. It then turned out that he was actually using me because he is a lazy disrespectful ego-maniac, so I was (and still am) pretty fucking pissed. He liked to yell at me for doing exactly what he wanted and then smile at me when I came home. He is also still pissy at me because I got my own car. He thought that I should take the bus because it would make me learn how life works or something. He doesnt know what Ive been through. Im so glad that I have my mom and my little sister. As of this moment, they might be the only people keeping me alive.

 

Me telling my dad that I had PTSD was like talking to a brick wall. Telling my step-dad that I had PTSD was interesting. He said that it was a "new challenge in life" FUCK THAT STUPID POSITIVE THINKING BULLSHIT. Its a NEW CHALLENGE? Ive had it since I was 8 because you didnt raise your son, and you never told him to STOP when he was tearing down half the fucking house, you naïve moron. I think alot of people in my life should try getting through 2 rapes and some sexual abuse, and also getting knocked out by your older "brother", not getting any food for up to 2 days, and having to walk into town, to school, looking like a victim of a train-wreck. Then they can see what kind of a fucking NEW CHALLENGE IT IS, to be scared for your life 24/7. To be constantly hungry and having the people who are supposed to protect you, be away for MONTHS. So you get to take care of yourself at the age of 11-12, not being sure about your sexuality and hating yourself even more because of all this. Thinking about killing yourself everyday, crying yourself to sleep, getting angry outbursts, living with life-long damages from all the concussions, and ending up as a 20 year old who cant work because of all of this shit, a 20 year old who has to take all his friends problems on his back and carry that shit for everyone. Maybe then, JUST MAYBE THEN, they wouldnt say: "Get a grip.".

I have no one to turn to.

 

 

Short version: Ho1LgF8ys-c

[Jeb_CC]

Im sorry guys, here I go again. This is the only place that I can vent. Im just happy that this page exists. Ive missed AF. I wish I could say something more, but I dont want to get preachy and play the victim. Im just gonna try to hang around the forums and actually help you guys, as you've helped me so many times.

There is ALOT of anger in this. If you're already feeling down, please dont read this. I dont want to make anyone feel any worse.

Sounds like you need a really long break there, mate. :S Unfortunately life is kinda shit... :\ And you kinda have to convince yourself that if you keep pushing on you'll eventually get to a better state. You don't owe us anything though. If you want to come here and do nothing but vent, go ahead. XD I certainly don't mind. If you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me or anything. There's probably not a whole lot I can do but if you just want to spill out your guts to me, sure thing. XP

Anyway, I just recommend you try and find a new job, anywhere else seems to be favorable. Don't force yourself to keep on helping others. You're a human being, not a mindless punching bag. Give yourself a break, just step away from everyone for a while. And if people start complaining; "Why weren't you there for me?", then you can just ask them that right back.

[ThePest179]

Apparently I was 'sexually assaulted' by an 8 year old. XD What?

 

Was walking to the shops earlier and a group of kids walk past. One of the kids grabs my breast, another one asks me for a cigarette, and the other one just shoves their shoulder against mine. Like... wtf? These were.. 7-9 year old... KIDS. That's probably the worst part about it, that they're kids... so there's shit all I can do about it. If the dude was like... 19 year olds, I could totally get him involved with the police. lol

I'm just... today's been such a weird fucking day. I really don't know how to feel about... any of it. >.>

 

EDIT: On the plus side, he said my breasts were big... which they're really not but like... XD Whatever, I'll take the compliment I guess.

 

This doesn't sound that weird to me. My little brother (11 years old) was caught watching hardcore porn on his laptop.

[Jeb_CC]

This doesn't sound that weird to me. My little brother (11 years old) was caught watching hardcore porn on his laptop.

lol Well you gotta start somewhere.

But the weirdness just comes from the whole group, and also the fact that a fucking Steam train rolled past a few minutes later, like why the fuck do we have a Steam train in a city?

[Doublenature]

Im sorry guys, here I go again. This is the only place that I can vent. Im just happy that this page exists. Ive missed AF. I wish I could say something more, but I dont want to get preachy and play the victim. Im just gonna try to hang around the forums and actually help you guys, as you've helped me so many times.

There is ALOT of anger in this. If you're already feeling down, please dont read this. I dont want to make anyone feel any worse.

Sounds like you need a really long break there, mate. :S Unfortunately life is kinda shit... :\ And you kinda have to convince yourself that if you keep pushing on you'll eventually get to a better state. You don't owe us anything though. If you want to come here and do nothing but vent, go ahead. XD I certainly don't mind. If you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me or anything. There's probably not a whole lot I can do but if you just want to spill out your guts to me, sure thing. XP

Anyway, I just recommend you try and find a new job, anywhere else seems to be favorable. Don't force yourself to keep on helping others. You're a human being, not a mindless punching bag. Give yourself a break, just step away from everyone for a while. And if people start complaining; "Why weren't you there for me?", then you can just ask them that right back.

 

Im starting school again. That will give me around 600 euro a month (which is incredibly good for just going to school and getting chances to learn new professions, I gotta hand it to you, Sweden, you did it right this time.) so that will probably be a nice change of pace.

I share your mentality about pushing on, however, now alot of people have told me that if I dont pull breaks real soon, I might actually hit the wall, I have no energy to push on. (Im not gonna kill myself, dont worry) I know what you mean with not giving up, but there is barely any energy for that either. My memory feels like its failing, I get like stress spikes, Im always tired and so on. (Told my friend about this and she told me that weed is perfect for this. Stop with the fucking weed, goddamn, it is not the solution to every problem in the world, and if you think that weed will solve all your problems, then you've just created a new problem.)

 

Thanks for being so helpful, I really do appreciate it, its so nice to hear someone say that I can talk to them if I need to.

Im gonna study now until September and then Ill hopefuly get into the car mechanic program and finally get to work with something that I really want to.

 

I feel like I cant just bail on people who need help, usually. Ive started telling these people when they start writing on Facebook/steam/text messages, that Ill gladly talk to them, but I cant deal with any of their problems. So far, two have been understanding, one was pissed and one just jokes everything away. If people get pissed at you when you've been there for them for a long time, then they dont deserve to be your friends.

 

Something really nice did happen today, though. Got a call from work asking me if I can take a bunch of shifts, so rent is covered next month. So thats a big load taken off my back. I also finally learned to appreciate ASMR, its been a great crutch these past months, watch ASMR 'til you feel really tired and go to bed, beats alcohol and probably weed every day of the week.

 

Again, thank you, I dont think you know how nice it was to read your reply.

[Jeb_CC]

Im starting school again. That will give me around 600 euro a month (which is incredibly good for just going to school and getting chances to learn new professions, I gotta hand it to you, Sweden, you did it right this time.) so that will probably be a nice change of pace.

I share your mentality about pushing on, however, now alot of people have told me that if I dont pull breaks real soon, I might actually hit the wall, I have no energy to push on. (Im not gonna kill myself, dont worry) I know what you mean with not giving up, but there is barely any energy for that either. My memory feels like its failing, I get like stress spikes, Im always tired and so on. (Told my friend about this and she told me that weed is perfect for this. Stop with the fucking weed, goddamn, it is not the solution to every problem in the world, and if you think that weed will solve all your problems, then you've just created a new problem.)

 

Thanks for being so helpful, I really do appreciate it, its so nice to hear someone say that I can talk to them if I need to.

Im gonna study now until September and then Ill hopefuly get into the car mechanic program and finally get to work with something that I really want to.

 

I feel like I cant just bail on people who need help, usually. Ive started telling these people when they start writing on Facebook/steam/text messages, that Ill gladly talk to them, but I cant deal with any of their problems. So far, two have been understanding, one was pissed and one just jokes everything away. If people get pissed at you when you've been there for them for a long time, then they dont deserve to be your friends.

 

Something really nice did happen today, though. Got a call from work asking me if I can take a bunch of shifts, so rent is covered next month. So thats a big load taken off my back. I also finally learned to appreciate ASMR, its been a great crutch these past months, watch ASMR 'til you feel really tired and go to bed, beats alcohol and probably weed every day of the week.

 

Again, thank you, I dont think you know how nice it was to read your reply.

Oh wow, starting school back up? I think that'd be very nice for you, be doing something else for a change, feel a bit more productive and given more opportunities in many different ways. I'm glad you're staying away from the weed though lol I don't have anything against people who do smoke weed, but at the end of the day, it costs so much and gives so little. IMO it's really not worth it. So I hope you keep up your stubbornness there to refuse it. XD

With your friends though, yes, I totally agree. If a friend gets angry at you for something as little as that, if they cannot give you your own freedom and space, they are no friend. I've had plenty of experience with those types... :S Just try to not let their annoyances get to you. If they're mad over something so silly, it's their fault, not yours.

Keep up the good work though! Working and what not... I can't really imagine how much of a relief that sum of money is. The only thing I can compare it to for myself is the stress of not being able to pay for my phone credit. XD So mild. So I applaud you, sir.

And I appreciate the thanks. <3

[Doublenature]

Im starting school again. That will give me around 600 euro a month (which is incredibly good for just going to school and getting chances to learn new professions, I gotta hand it to you, Sweden, you did it right this time.) so that will probably be a nice change of pace.

I share your mentality about pushing on, however, now alot of people have told me that if I dont pull breaks real soon, I might actually hit the wall, I have no energy to push on. (Im not gonna kill myself, dont worry) I know what you mean with not giving up, but there is barely any energy for that either. My memory feels like its failing, I get like stress spikes, Im always tired and so on. (Told my friend about this and she told me that weed is perfect for this. Stop with the fucking weed, goddamn, it is not the solution to every problem in the world, and if you think that weed will solve all your problems, then you've just created a new problem.)

 

Thanks for being so helpful, I really do appreciate it, its so nice to hear someone say that I can talk to them if I need to.

Im gonna study now until September and then Ill hopefuly get into the car mechanic program and finally get to work with something that I really want to.

 

I feel like I cant just bail on people who need help, usually. Ive started telling these people when they start writing on Facebook/steam/text messages, that Ill gladly talk to them, but I cant deal with any of their problems. So far, two have been understanding, one was pissed and one just jokes everything away. If people get pissed at you when you've been there for them for a long time, then they dont deserve to be your friends.

 

Something really nice did happen today, though. Got a call from work asking me if I can take a bunch of shifts, so rent is covered next month. So thats a big load taken off my back. I also finally learned to appreciate ASMR, its been a great crutch these past months, watch ASMR 'til you feel really tired and go to bed, beats alcohol and probably weed every day of the week.

 

Again, thank you, I dont think you know how nice it was to read your reply.

Oh wow, starting school back up? I think that'd be very nice for you, be doing something else for a change, feel a bit more productive and given more opportunities in many different ways. I'm glad you're staying away from the weed though lol I don't have anything against people who do smoke weed, but at the end of the day, it costs so much and gives so little. IMO it's really not worth it. So I hope you keep up your stubbornness there to refuse it. XD

With your friends though, yes, I totally agree. If a friend gets angry at you for something as little as that, if they cannot give you your own freedom and space, they are no friend. I've had plenty of experience with those types... :S Just try to not let their annoyances get to you. If they're mad over something so silly, it's their fault, not yours.

Keep up the good work though! Working and what not... I can't really imagine how much of a relief that sum of money is. The only thing I can compare it to for myself is the stress of not being able to pay for my phone credit. XD So mild. So I applaud you, sir.

And I appreciate the thanks. <3

 

Yeah school is probably gonna let my brain wind down and I can "land" again. Hopefully Ill make some new friends.

Yeah Im not one for anything harder than alcohol and Ive learned to handle alcohol, I know my limit and at what point of intoxication Ill have the most fun and be able to control myself.

Friends need to understand that it works both ways. I have one friend who understands this, and Im grateful for him, but he is having a much too rough time to be listening to my problems and I respect that. I know that he will be there for me once all of this blows over for him.

Im glad that I can usually read people really well and also take a step back and read a situation. Why is this person mad? Is it his/hers wrongdoing or is it mine? Etc.

 

That sum of money is a great relief. I still have to work 5 shifts a month to keep my current job, but 5 shifts is not alot in a month and the extra cash is always welcome. (Ill be earning about 900 euros after taxes at that rate, which covers more than everything for me.

Hey, all bills are a stressfactor, phone bill or rent, its still something that just lays there in your mind and phone bills tend to be WAY to expensive considering what a phone costs. (Bought my new one for about 39 euro, which was cheap, on black friday, was using an old samsung button one up until that point )

Thanks for the applause!

<3 back at you!

[Psychotic Ninja]

I have a taunt idea for TF2, but requires a custom model. I can't model. I jump through hoops to find a model that works for what I want. I download it. It's in .obj format. SFM/Steam likes .mdl format. I search for a way to convert to .mdl format. From what I can tell, there's no easy way to do so, and all roads lead to outdated methods that no longer work. FML.

[rairii]

I have a taunt idea for TF2, but requires a custom model. I can't model. I jump through hoops to find a model that works for what I want. I download it. It's in .obj format. SFM/Steam likes .mdl format. I search for a way to convert to .mdl format. From what I can tell, there's no easy way to do so, and all roads lead to outdated methods that no longer work. FML.

 

You're pretty much using someone else's model for something you intend to send to Valve for marketing with I assume no permission from the original creator, which is not only scummy but also highly illegal and would never make it past workshop stages if anyone noticed.

If you want to have any future or success in modeling or animation you really have to suck it up and learn.

[Jeb_CC]

I have a taunt idea for TF2, but requires a custom model. I can't model. I jump through hoops to find a model that works for what I want. I download it. It's in .obj format. SFM/Steam likes .mdl format. I search for a way to convert to .mdl format. From what I can tell, there's no easy way to do so, and all roads lead to outdated methods that no longer work. FML.

 

You're pretty much using someone else's model for something you intend to send to Valve for marketing with I assume no permission from the original creator, which is not only scummy but also highly illegal and would never make it past workshop stages if anyone noticed.

If you want to have any future or success in modeling or animation you really have to suck it up and learn.

 

There are such things as Royalty Free models. Also there's such a thing as asking the owner, and giving the owner credit.

[rairii]

I have a taunt idea for TF2, but requires a custom model. I can't model. I jump through hoops to find a model that works for what I want. I download it. It's in .obj format. SFM/Steam likes .mdl format. I search for a way to convert to .mdl format. From what I can tell, there's no easy way to do so, and all roads lead to outdated methods that no longer work. FML.

 

You're pretty much using someone else's model for something you intend to send to Valve for marketing with I assume no permission from the original creator, which is not only scummy but also highly illegal and would never make it past workshop stages if anyone noticed.

If you want to have any future or success in modeling or animation you really have to suck it up and learn.

 

There are such things as Royalty Free models. Also there's such a thing as asking the owner, and giving the owner credit.

And I already addressed that issue

Frankly either way, if you're submitting something to valve with the intent of it being sold, it should be 100% original anyway.