Vent

[Vapymid]

...my frustration at trying to court this girl I've fallen in love with...

 

That probably is the main cause. These things pump you full of hormones that screw up with your mood and there are only two cures - she herself and/or time. If you can, try to convince yourself that the way you feel is just the brain chemistry and it will wear off eventually ...or speak your heart to her. Even if she rejects you - you will feel much better.

 

Regards

[Jeb_CC]

Ooh. Loooove. > Tell her how you feel. And then tell me what happened. I love it when people are in love. X3 It's so cute and adorable.

[BTGBullseye]

It's so cute and adorable.

Never say that to a guy...

[Binky The Rabbit]

Someone known by a business contact of mine has been on that plane that fell in France today.

Oh hell! That's awful, especially with the emerging information about what happened. Condolences to your contact

 

this girl I've fallen in love with

Oh aye, I know that feeling. Thankfully she and I are now on a good level of understanding.

 

2 things though - is she aware of your courtship? And are you two on a level of interaction where you could spend the day together with little or no hassle/awkwardness? See if you can spend the day with her. Show her the person you are, and get to know her more, in a way that isn't overly intrusive. You may find that she's either not what you thought she was, or she could be the greatest thing since the Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator. Another thing to be aware of is how she responds to you. It'll be pretty clear if she's not interested. Never force anything.

 

Sadly for me, she was - and still is - superior to the Gravity Gun, but I'm working through it.

[AP_Pastor]

...or speak your heart to her. Even if she rejects you - you will feel much better.

I'm gonna do just that the next time we'll talk. Hope it'll turn out well *knocks on wood*

 

And then tell me what happened. I love it when people are in love.

I might post again after I tell her, or maybe pm you about it.

 

..are you two on a level of interaction where you could spend the day together with little or no hassle/awkwardness? See if you can spend the day with her.

We haven't seen each other for over a year now. The last time we saw each other was months after our high school graduation. We do chat in Facebook, although sometimes there would be some awkwardness in my part. I wish i can spend a day, or at least an hour or two with her someday. I like how you say she could be the greatest thing since the Gravity Gun btw. Reminds me of how I used to think of her as the girl with the Invisible Touch, "She reaches in and grabs right hold in your heart..."

[Vapymid]

Condolences to your contact

 

Thank you. It was a bit of a shock for him, as could be imagined.

 

Also it puts things in perspective when something like happen happens so close to home, doesn't it?

 

I'm gonna do just that the next time we'll talk.

Good luck!

 

Regards

[Blightmare]

Lately I've been cleaning out my room for the first time in years. As a result I've been stumbling across a lot of things I forgot about from my high school days. Simple things like silly stories written on folded paper and jokes me and my friend came up with and... it's honestly left me really bummed. Like, some of these things I'm finding, it's all completely silly, yet there's a certain creativity to it. A creativity I feel like I don't have anymore. I used to create these crazy worlds in my head and now I just don't know what happened to all of it. I kinda wish I still had that creativity or at least I still had what sparked it. I wish I knew where it came from and where it went.

 

I guess I finally realized I've grown up and become that boring adult I feared I'd become as a child.

[Jeb_CC]

Hehe. I cleaned out my room once, REALLY cleaned it out, and I ended up finding things that gave me a butt load of flashbacks or memories, and I'd just be sitting on my room floor, deeply thinking about my life. XD My parents would walk in and go; "Wat da fudge are ya doin'?"

I'm still a child but I still have things that remind me of how cool it was to not have any responsibilities. XP

[Psychotic Ninja]

Oh there was one time where I was looking back at my high school year books (I have years 10-12), and I almost burst out crying 'cause of all the great memories, and for once, I had finally truly realized I had friends that actually cared about me, even if they didn't actually show it (too well) when we were in school.

[Vapymid]

I still have things that remind me of how cool it was to not have any responsibilities. XP

 

Most of my stuff got lost/mislaid in moving my household between various countries but I still occasionally find something and, yes, that does hit me with nostalgia!

 

Regards

[BTGBullseye]

Nostalgia will do that. I get that every time I sort my CD collection... I usually find some old CD with some crappy game saves, and decide not to throw it out because it reminds me of when I was 16 and had to do a whole song and dance (figuratively for the song part) just to get my computer to run. (those were the days...)

[AP_Pastor]

I got a box full of some memorabilia from my high school days. Some pictures, CD's of songs played in the prom, some of my notebooks etc. I was looking through them one time, and as I go through that box, I go through a flashback, as though i went back in time in a flash. Nostalgia at its best I guess.

[Blightmare]

It's weird for me though. I don't miss high school. It was not a good time for me, to say the least. Too many of the worst people I've met are from that time(I've since removed them from my life). I spent a lot of time to myself and was a bit of a loner save for a few friends. I guess that's where most of my creativity came from; more time to myself and my own imagination. It's just right now I could use that creativity more than ever considering the profession I'm pursuing.

 

Double edged sword I guess. The people I know now are the coolest I've ever known and my mental health has improved, but I still feel like I lost something I greatly valued.

 

Man aren't I a fuckin' bummer?

[Binky The Rabbit]

It was not a good time for me, to say the least. Too many of the worst people I've met are from that time(I've since removed them from my life). I spent a lot of time to myself and was a bit of a loner save for a few friends.

 

I'm with you on that one. Breakdown during exams, feelings of isolation, social anxiety, out of touch with almost every friend. Not helped with my school being demolished and replaced with a cold, sterile, homogenised factory of a 'modern' building.

[Jeb_CC]

Now that I'm no longer bawling my eyes out and I can actually breathe without my whole body hurting, I shall rant, a lot...

 

I got a chipped tooth yesterday. I've had them before. Only on the one tooth though strangely enough. Fortunately though, same tooth. Less problems to deal with. However, when they're chipped, they leave my tooth really sharp, and it hurts to talk, eat, swallow, drink. It's just downright painful but it only lasts a few days. I just wait out the few days because the sharpness usually dulls over time. So at the end of the day, I just shrug it off until there's a time where my parents can afford for me to go to the dentist. This time, I decided to tell my Dad, since I think I'm finally over my hatred and fear of the dentist. Well. I've been fearing the wrong person all this time apparently.

 

I told my dad; "I have a chipped tooth. In my bad tooth. It's sharp and it hurts. It's the tooth the dentist was going to fix in the next few weeks."

And when I thought that maybe he'd bring the dentist appointment to a closer date... he just... starts yelling at me. He swears at me and verbally abuses me, complaining how I never look after myself. I told him I'd been brushing but then he blames it on the food. He says I don't eat anything they serve me, but I do... I don't entirely depend on myself for food. He just kept going on and I started to cry. I cried and cried until my belly, sides and heart ached everytime I breathed in. Combine that with ragged breathing and panting and I was standing in agony, not allowed to say anything or leave. My dad yelled at me and said that I was a failure at looking after myself. And then finally after 20 long minutes of pain, he comes up to me and hugs me, as if everything was fine. I wanted to run off but I knew if I did, he'd probably slap me or yell at me more. He finally let me go to my bedroom and I immediately called my boyfriend on Skype so I could cry and cry until his sweet soothing voice would hush me back to the safety of his company. I don't know what to do... My parents complain I don't talk to them a lot. Whenever I open my mouth, they have a reason to scold me. They wonder why I'm so quiet and introverted. Just... fuck me. I'm scared, hopeless and apparently a failure, and the only thing keeping me sane is my boyfriend. I took a chance of telling my dad something, and fuck, I learnt to never do it again.

[Blightmare]

I'd say you really need to get out of that house. That environment sounds extremely unhealthy for anybody to be in. You should start seriously considering and planning on becoming self sustained. I know it can be scary to make a change like that but in this case I think it's for the best.

 

I wish I could do more to help over the internet but I've not had experiences like this so I'm regrettably at a loss for advice other than what I mentioned. God I hate parents who treat there kids like this. Imagine how great this world would be if people didn't suck. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[Vapymid]

Your father's rage is 99% directed at himself for his inability to influence you to do what he thinks is very important to your future. He even may have a point or two but they are totally lost in delivery. He is telling you how you fail in this or that because he thinks that's the way to motivate you to change. Of course, he is totally wrong. The parenthood - he is doing it in an incredibly inept way, I'm sorry to say.

 

But screw it all - that brings me to the main point: you are NOT a failure. And don't ever forget that, please.

 

Regars

[Blightmare]

But screw it all - that brings me to the main point: you are NOT a failure. And don't ever forget that, please.

^^^QFE

[Jeb_CC]

Aw. Ya'll are both sweet and kind.

The problem is, if I moved away from home, what education would I have? How would I get a good career later on in life? It's so difficult. Waiting is haaard.

[Psychotic Ninja]

I would have said the same thing, but then I feel like I'm just repeating what the "popular" thing is without "forming my own thoughts/opinions" and I'm "just trying to fit in".