Vent

[VeryShyPerson]

Ah. Well I'm taking medication now as well (after a painful session at the hospital) and I have an awful memory too so guess I'll experience your pain as well.

 

If you can, get a pill organizer - a dollar or two in pharmacies. They can help a lot. Well, when I remember to put the meds in beforehand.

 

Medication is sort of yucky though - like my antidepressants I take in the morning, with the unfortunate side effect of making me drowsy and yawn all day. The doc suggested I take them at night, and I tried that - but then they ended up wearing off early afternoon and I'd go back into my mood swings. So drowsiness it is. Then there's the thyroid replacement, which I have to take because my thyroid doesn't really work. Thing is, it needs to be constantly monitored so I'm taking the right amount and that means a lot of blood tests.

[Jeb_CC]

Darn. I'm like, underweight so I need meds on all sorts of vitamins and snot, only cause my parents won't feed me, and they can't get food, cause they're spending the money on medication. -_- It's a time loop full of lies and anger from me. Ugh.

[VeryShyPerson]

On account of my disability, I'm covered under pharmacare so only have to pay $5 for my meds. Do you have anything like that where you live?

 

Unrelated vent: My cat wanted to sit in the window and wouldn't stop meowing until I opened it. Now she's happy and I'm cold.

[Jeb_CC]

Well. I dunno. Money confuses me but If Australia did have something like that, I wouldn't know cause my mum ain't using it. X3

 

Unrelated vent; I hate cleaning but I HAVE to get my room sorted.

 

EDIT; Sorta semi-related vent; I swear my doctor is mentally retarded. No body believes me and he's linking everyone of my symptoms to Anorexia Nervosa. Oh you're tired? Must be Anorexia Nervosa. Oh you have stomach aches? Must be Anorexia Nervosa. Oh you're getting good grades? Must be Anorexia Nervosa. F*cking idiots. And I kept telling him that I was tired cause I've been up late and my stomach aches have been just cramps but nooooo... he wouldn't believe me. So now I have to go see a psychologist cause apparently I'm so seriously f*cked up. IF PEOPLE GAVE ME FOOD, I'D F*CKING EAT IT. GRAGH.

[Seattleite]

I have been hallucinating in little flashes for the last several weeks. You know how when you stare at something for a while, when you look away you can still kinda see it? And later you'll see it for just the briefest moments when you blink? Like that.

 

It mostly happens at night, when I'm really tired. Mostly. And it seems to go along with all the nightmares I've been having then forgetting all the details of, because I think the things I'm seeing are all from those nightmares. Something different each time. It's so quick I can't even tell what it is half the time, and when I can I wish I couldn't. The most frequent is what looks like me at age 8. With no eyes. Looking over his shoulder to make eye contact with me with his eyeless sockets. Another is that same eyeless little me, back of his head smashed in and his throat slit, sitting dead against a wall. Another is a pair of eyeless kids, holding a bat and a knife, staring at me. Not exactly pleasant imagery, you know? And it's getting more frequent.

 

To make things worse, I feel like I'm being watched all the time, like there's somebody right behind me, I keep seeing things in my peripheral vision, and I'm hearing things under my tinnitus that I really don't like. I've been using music to drown it out. All of that is also mostly at night, when I'm really tired. MOSTLY. And it's getting worse.

 

I used to have long, vivid hallucinations when I was a kid. Some really good, pleasant daydreams (I remember one with me and this girl with the lower body of a snake... Ah, good times.) and some horrible, disturbing waking nightmares. Eyeless me was one of them. But I usually knew when something was a hallucination, I could feel that it wasn't real. That time, I couldn't, and several of my friends also saw it. And then people have been telling me about their (terrifyingly similar) experiences with eyeless people, and I saw those eyeless kids in another hallucination that felt real years later, and now this. And right now I feel really worried about the eyeless version of me that I KNOW IS NOT REAL, like he's going to die, and if he dies I'm next. Or maybe like I'm being watched by people who want to get to him. Or maybe he's actually being watched and I just feel it because we're "linked". Somehow I feel like his imminent death (already really bad) somehow directly involves me, and everything else I'm feeling is related to that. And ALL of this is BATSHIT CRAZY and I don't like it.

 

Fucking hell, I'm having a breakdown, aren't I? All this is probably just general anxiety, minor hallucinations and nightmares that I'm subconsciously making connections between, right? So then why can't I believe that?

[Jeb_CC]

Call either Ghostbusters or your Psychologist. Your pick. Personally I don't believe in ghosts or crazy voodoo snot, but I'm pretty sure your mind is just playing tricksies.

[Seattleite]

I already know this is in my head, and nobody mentioned ghosts at any point.

 

I'm just going to get drunk and go to bed, okay? I think that's a good plan for the rest of the day.

[VeryShyPerson]

I'd suggest seeing a doctor about it - just to rule out any weird physical things going on.

[ThePest179]

I have been hallucinating in little flashes for the last several weeks. You know how when you stare at something for a while, when you look away you can still kinda see it? And later you'll see it for just the briefest moments when you blink? Like that.

 

It mostly happens at night, when I'm really tired. Mostly. And it seems to go along with all the nightmares I've been having then forgetting all the details of, because I think the things I'm seeing are all from those nightmares. Something different each time. It's so quick I can't even tell what it is half the time, and when I can I wish I couldn't. The most frequent is what looks like me at age 8. With no eyes. Looking over his shoulder to make eye contact with me with his eyeless sockets. Another is that same eyeless little me, back of his head smashed in and his throat slit, sitting dead against a wall. Another is a pair of eyeless kids, holding a bat and a knife, staring at me. Not exactly pleasant imagery, you know? And it's getting more frequent.

 

To make things worse, I feel like I'm being watched all the time, like there's somebody right behind me, I keep seeing things in my peripheral vision, and I'm hearing things under my tinnitus that I really don't like. I've been using music to drown it out. All of that is also mostly at night, when I'm really tired. MOSTLY. And it's getting worse.

 

I used to have long, vivid hallucinations when I was a kid. Some really good, pleasant daydreams (I remember one with me and this girl with the lower body of a snake... Ah, good times.) and some horrible, disturbing waking nightmares. Eyeless me was one of them. But I usually knew when something was a hallucination, I could feel that it wasn't real. That time, I couldn't, and several of my friends also saw it. And then people have been telling me about their (terrifyingly similar) experiences with eyeless people, and I saw those eyeless kids in another hallucination that felt real years later, and now this. And right now I feel really worried about the eyeless version of me that I KNOW IS NOT REAL, like he's going to die, and if he dies I'm next. Or maybe like I'm being watched by people who want to get to him. Or maybe he's actually being watched and I just feel it because we're "linked". Somehow I feel like his imminent death (already really bad) somehow directly involves me, and everything else I'm feeling is related to that. And ALL of this is BATSHIT CRAZY and I don't like it.

 

Fucking hell, I'm having a breakdown, aren't I? All this is probably just general anxiety, minor hallucinations and nightmares that I'm subconsciously making connections between, right? So then why can't I believe that?

 

Seeing an eyeless version of yourself probably isn't a good sign of mental health. I have no idea why you'd worry about "him" when you should be worried about you.

 

Get help. Right fucking now. I'm dead serious, get off the forums, and go get psychological help, because you are not in a good state of mind at all.

[Seattleite]

Seeing an eyeless version of yourself probably isn't a good sign of mental health.

 

Except that eyeless/faceless people are common in nightmares in normal people, are nightmares sticking with you isn't THAT strange, especially when badly sleep deprived. Seeing flashes from nightmares when I blink is a bit more unique, but still not very.

 

I have no idea why you'd worry about "him" when you should be worried about you.

 

Because he's a little kid?

 

Get help. Right fucking now. I'm dead serious, get off the forums, and go get psychological help, because you are not in a good state of mind at all.

 

I probably shouldn't have posted about this. This is NOT that strange, really. Nightmares? Normal. Particularly disturbing nightmares? Also normal. Seeing flashes of images that were disturbing? Still normal. Nightmares lasting for weeks? Less normal, but can be attributed to any number of factors. Anxiety? Easily either the cause of the above or caused by the above. Attempting to link the anxiety and things associated with general anxiety (feelings of being watched, paranoia, jitteryness) with other issues occuring? Human nature. Even the things in my peripheral vision or under my tinnitus can be explained by the anxiety itself. Add on my lifelong propensity for waking dreams and the whole thing fits together.

 

I really shouldn't have posted about this. It's stupid, it seems a lot worse than it is, and just because it's getting to me doesn't mean I need to inform others of it.

[BTGBullseye]

Feel free to talk about it if it helps. If you fell like sharing it with just one person that doesn't judge, I haven't blocked PMs.

 

Now for my vent:

 

Why the fuck am I now suddenly having extremely high blood pressure, dizziness, and so on? I haven't changed that much from what I was doing previously... 160/100 BP?! WTF?! I think that machine must've been broken. Either that or the 4 hour nights are getting to me. (that's been my sleep schedule for about 2 months now, so that probly is it)

[VeryShyPerson]

Vent: I found some stuff that reminds me of what an ass I used to be. I don't like to remember that.

[ThePest179]

Because he's a little kid?

 

"He" has no eyes, and more importantly is a product of sleep deprivation.

 

I probably shouldn't have posted about this. This is NOT that strange, really. Nightmares? Normal. Particularly disturbing nightmares? Also normal. Seeing flashes of images that were disturbing? Still normal. Nightmares lasting for weeks? Less normal, but can be attributed to any number of factors. Anxiety? Easily either the cause of the above or caused by the above. Attempting to link the anxiety and things associated with general anxiety (feelings of being watched, paranoia, jitteryness) with other issues occuring? Human nature. Even the things in my peripheral vision or under my tinnitus can be explained by the anxiety itself. Add on my lifelong propensity for waking dreams and the whole thing fits together.

 

You should still either get a psychologist or a pillow, and fast.

 

Except that eyeless/faceless people are common in nightmares in normal people, are nightmares sticking with you isn't THAT strange, especially when badly sleep deprived. Seeing flashes from nightmares when I blink is a bit more unique, but still not very.

 

Alright, if you feel that you're fine, then keep trudging on. I'm just worried about your mental health, is all.

[VeryShyPerson]

i wanted cookies but they all burned up so i cant have cookies

[Jeb_CC]

Vent: Pets are lovable but are fucking sons of bitches sometimes. Pardon my language but I am NOT in the mood to be nice. Laptop on the bench? Dog pushed it off and blurgh, there goes the charger. This wouldn't be much of an issue, if the charger wasn't American. Thus I need to spend more money than I should, with what money? I don't have any! I have $1.00 in my account. But I still need to buy a dress for a dinner soon and then figure out how to get help on getting more money for the trip to Western Australia. GRAGH. I need this money! $50. Is all I need! Then I can get back to my work (and my boyfriend, sad face long distance relationship).

[Seattleite]

Feel free to talk about it if it helps. If you fell like sharing it with just one person that doesn't judge, I haven't blocked PMs.

 

While I appreciate the offer, more given the circumstances, I'm not going to accept it.

[Seattleite]

If the Call of Duty franchise is any indication, every single fucking game designer in Activision must be severely mentally retarded, completely batshit insane and PURE FUCKING EVIL. Here's a short list of reasons why.

 

1. CARS DON'T FUCKING EXPLODE. There is NO amount of ANYTHING that will make a car EVER explode. FUCKING EVER.

2. DOGS ARE NOT BULLETPROOF KILLING MACHINES, THEY ARE WEAK, PATHETIC LITTLE ANIMALS. There's a reason they're not used in war. It's because they would be dead in TWO FUCKING SECONDS, and are INCAPABLE of killing anybody competent enough to throw a fucking punch.

3. RADIATION IS NOT A MAGICAL FORCE OF INSTANT DEATH. Radiation poisoning isn't usually fatal and when it is it takes DAYS, often WEEKS, to kill people. When it does kill, it either kills through dehydration or indirectly through infection.

4. The radiation levels around Chernobyl were NOT that high. Especially as far out as Pripyat. They wouldn't cause radiation poisoning AT ALL, especially not in 1996. Pripyat was evacuated out of concerns that the contamination would seep into the local drinking water, NOT because of radiation levels on the ground, and the threat was that it could cause CANCER, not radiation poisoning.

5. EMPs do NOT disable most electronics. They can't stop cars, they can't knock airplanes out of the sky, and they certainly can't disable the RADIOACTIVE DECAY OF FUCKING TRITIUM that lights red dot sights and ACOG scopes. The ONLY things vulnerable are communications and sensory devices, and most of them will only be down very briefly because ALL the EMP did was cause a power surge and trip the circuit breaker.

6. ARMOUR IS A THING THAT FUCKING WORKS. I don't even need to really explain this one, do I?

7. Blowing up a baby in front of the player won't get them fired up, it'll just turn them off. There's a reason I snapped my MW3 disk.

8. Recoil in space means going backwards every time you shoot.

9. You can carry more than two guns, you fucking morons.

10. Bullets are speedy bits of metal, NOT magical killing curses. Gunshot wounds are survivable, easily stopped by body armour, and when they do kill they take a while to do so.

11. No army will throw away hundreds of soldiers to take out one squad. They'll try one platoon at the most, and if that fails they'll call in an air strike.

12. "Cooking" grenades is not a thing.

13. A .45 should do more damage than a 9mm, and the AK should do more damage than any 5.56.

14. The P90 isn't the bestest gun in all of everything, it's a shoddily made, overly fancy piece of plasticky shit that CANNOT penetrate body armour, couldn't stop a man if he was sedated first, will break if dropped, and jams so much it's more likely to end up getting YOU killed than anybody else, no matter WHAT the manufacturer says.

15. Story was the ONLY THING that made the first Modern Warfare decent and the second one playable. So WHY IN THE FLYING FUCK did you throw the story out the window for the third game? WHY? What the FUCK is wrong with you people?

16. Do you realize how incredibly racist you're becoming? The first game was just a little racist, but the second game kinda started to bother me and the third game is somewhere between old-school Disney and 1940's Loony Tunes racist. What the fuck is this shit? I get that the right-wing shut-ins you're marketing to are a bunch of racist sacks of shit, but they don't need racism in their games to enjoy it, and you're turning off EVERYBODY else.

[K4_Kydure]

12. "Cooking" grenades is not a thing.

To clarify cooking grenades is a thing but as someone who has a lover and has had most of her family in the military it is recommended that you don't do it for safety reasons do to variations in the fuse.

 

 

And to contribute to this thread: The Rimworld wiki needs a good kick in the pants in terms of information. It's really annoying going there only to find out it has nothing useful on it.

[Seattleite]

To clarify cooking grenades is a thing but as someone who has a lover and has had most of her family in the military it is recommended that you don't do it for safety reasons do to variations in the fuse.

 

1. Variations with a fuse that is already too damned short. Holding it for an extra second or two is just asking for it to go off in your face.

2. The way they do it in-game they simply remove the pin without dropping the spoon. The fuse doesn't ignite until the spoon is detached. Holding it then accomplishes nothing.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Well to be fair, COD is a video game franchise, and video games don't have to follow all the laws of real life. Life isn't one long hallway, but COD is (well, multiplayer is multiple worlds that are a box, and we don't live in a box).