"The List" - (Freeman's Killcount)

[Space Hunter M]

While re-watching the show for the umpteenth time, I decided to begin a little hobby...

What follows is a somewhat comprehensive guide to every one of the Freeman's victims, be they extra-dimensional parasites or spelling challenged military personnel. Updates will follow as new episodes are released.

 

Day 1

2 Scientists (Elevator, unavoidable manslaughter)

2 Houndeyes (Glock)

2 Houndeyes (Glock)

1st Vort (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

1 Zombie (Glock)

4 Crabs ("Batter up!" Crowbar)

1 Bullsquid (Glock)

1 Roach (Crowbar)

1 Roach (Feet)

1 Roach (Crowbar)

4 Roachs (Feet)

3 Crabs (Glock)

2 Crabs (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

1 Roach (Feet)

5 Crabs ("Class is in session" Crowbar massacre)

1 Crab (Crowbar)

2 Vorts (Glock)

1 Vort (Glock)

2 Vorts ("James Bond intuition" Glock)

1 Crab (*Bond fanfare* Glock)

3 Vorts ("Mineral rich planet" Glock)

1 Barnacle (Glock)

3 Crabs (Glock)

1 Zombie ("Kneel before me" Glock)

2 Vorts (Glock)

10 Crabs ("No comments" Crowbar massacre)

2 Zombies (Glock)

1 Bullsquid (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

1 Bullsquid (Glock)

2 Crabs (Glock)

1 Crab (Crowbar)

1 Roach (Feet)

1 Barnacle (Glock)

1 Crab (Crowbar)

1 Zombie (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

2 Zombies (*Badass Grandpa killers* Glock)

1 Freeman (10.5 Suicide)

1 Turret (Glock)

1 Crab (First MP5 kill)

4 Crabs (MP5)

3 Vorts (Glock)

1 Vort (Glock)

3 Crabs (Glock)

1st Grunt ("Hey killer, what's up?" Glock)

3 Grunts (MP5 + Explosion)

3 Grunts (MP5)

4 Grunts (MP5)

1 Grunt (MP5)

1 Crab (Crowbar)

2 Grunts ("The syllable count was off" MP5)

2 Crabs (Shotgun)

1 Bullsquid (Shotgun)

1 Zombie (Shotgun)

2 Bullsquids (MP5)

2 Crabs (MP5)

4 Houndeyes ("Mexican jumping beans" MP5)

1 Bullsquid (Glock)

2 Bullsquids (Shotgun)

2 Bullsquids (Glock)

1 Bullsquid (Shotgun)

3 Houndeyes (Shotgun)

1 Houndeye, 2 Crabs (Shotgun + 2 explosives = "COMBO PLATTER!")

1 Houndeye (Shotgun)

1 Bullsquid (Glock)

1 Zombie (Shotgun)

1 Barnacle (Shotgun)

1 Barnacle (Glock)

1 Zombie (Shotgun + explosive)

2 Zombies (Shotgun)

1 Zombies (Crowbar)

2 Zombies (Shotgun)

1 Crab, 1 Roach ("Stop persecuting me" Crowbar, Feet)

2 Crabs (Crowbar)

3 Zombies, 1 Crab (Shotgun)

1 Zombie (Shotgun)

3 Houndeyes (Shotgun)

1 Bullsquid (Shotgun)

1 Zombie (Shotgun)

1 Bullsquid (Glock)

3 Tentacles, 1 Barney (Rocket Test-Fire +explosives)

1 Crab (Crushed by high velocity fall onto table)

2 Vorts (MP5 + explosives)

2 Vorts (MP5)

6 Crabs (Glock)

1 Vort, 1 Crab (MP5)

2 Crabs (MP5)

2 Vorts (MP5 + explosives)

1 Grunt (MP5)

1 Grunt (MP5)

3 Grunts (*Corner tactics* MP5)

5 Grunts (MP5)

1 Houndeye (MP5)

4 Houndeyes (MP5)

1 Crab (MP5)

1 Zombie (MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5)

1 Grunt, 2 Crabs (MP5)

1 Turret (MP5)

1 Vort (MP5)

1 Gargantua (Electric current)

1 Barnacle (Glock)

2 Houndeyes, 1 Bullsquid (Glock, Shotgun)

3 Houndeyes (MP5)

1 Bullsquid (MP5)

1 Roach (MP5)

3 Houndeyes (MP5)

1 Bullsquid (MP5)

2 Barnacles (MP5)

1 Bullsquid (MP5)

2 Crabs (Glock)

1 Bullsquid (MP5)

1 Barnacle (MP5)

1 Bullsquid, 1 Crab (MP5)

1 Crab (Glock)

4 Grunts ("Just passing through" MP5)

1 Grunt ("Gutter off the starboard bow!" MP5)

3 Grunts ("Ahoy there!" MP5)

1 Grunt (MP5)

1 Grunt (Shotgun)

3 Grunts ("Fire the cannon!" MP5 + Grenade round)

2 Vorts, 2 Grunts, 1 Vort (MP5)

3 Crabs (MP5)

1 Vort (MP5)

1 Grunt ("SURRENDER FREEMEN" Ambassador Pineapple)

1 Grunt (MP5)

2 Bullsquids (MP5)

1 Crab, 1 Bullsquid, 1 Crab ("Fine Used Bullets" MP5)

1 Grunt "Rocky the Rocket-Ranger" (Glock)

5 Vorts ("You're just being paranoid" MP5)

1 Grunt (Grenade + explosives)

2 Grunts ("Put two soldiers in a box!" MP5)

2 Zombies ("Hell's coat rack" MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5)

2 Grunts ("So who is this guy, Freeman?" MP5)

1 Grunt out of "The Three Stooges" (MP5)

2 Grunts (Shotgun)

3 Grunts (Tram ram + MP5)

3 Barnacles (Glock)

1 Barnacle (MP5)

1 Icthyosaur ("Call me Ishmael, bitch!" Shotgun)

2 Barnacles (Shotgun)

2 Vorts ("I'm boxed in!" Shotgun)

1 Barnacle (Shotgun)

1 Vort (Shotgun)

2 Bullsquids ("I just killed you!" MP5)

1 Bullsquid (MP5)

1 Crab, 3 Vorts, 1 Crab (Shotgun)

2 Vorts, 1 Crab (Shotgun)

4 Vorts (MP5)

3 Black Ops ("Ninjas!" MP5)

 

Day 2

2 Crabs "Big Roachs" (First amnesia kills - Crowbar)

4 Roaches (Feet)

3 Barnacles (Glock)

1 Barnacle (Glock)

2 Crabs (Glock)

1 Roach (Feet)

3 Roaches (Feet)

1 Roach (Feet)

1 Roach (Feet)

1 Bullsquid (First remembrance and .357 kill)

3 Bullsquids (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

1 Crab (Glock)

1 Bullsquid ("Backup gun" .357)

2 Crabs ('Arena fight' - Crowbar)

5 Houndeyes (Crowbar)

1st Alien Grunt (Satchel Charge)

5 Crabs (Booth)

1 Grunt (.357)

1 Barney (Actual murder - .357)

4 Grunts (MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5)

1 Alien Grunt (MP5)

3 Grunts ("Personal space!" MP5)

1 Grunt ("Implied privacy" MP5)

3 Bullsquids, 4 Grunts ('"Calm down!" massacre' MP5 + Shotgun)

4 Houndeyes (Shotgun)

7 Crabs (Glock)

1 Grunt (MP5)

1 Grunt (MP5)

2 Turrets (MP5)

2 Grunts (Satchel Charge)

3 Grunts (MP5)

1 Grunt ("Suppressive fire in, Suppressive fire out" MP5)

1 Apache Helicopter ("Get your head out of the clouds!" MP5)

1 Icthyosaur (MP5)

1 Houndeye (MP5)

4 Grunts (MP5)

2 Headcrabs ("Tremors, man!" Shotgun)

2 Crabs (Shotgun)

1 Turret (MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5 + Glock + Shotgun)

1 Grunt (Shotgun)

1 Grunt (Shotgun)

1 Apache Helicopter (First RPG kill)

5 Grunts ("I am the very model of a Modern Major-General" MP5)

1 Grunt ("I carry quite an arsenal" Shotgun)

1 Grunt (MP5)

1 Tank ("Delivery for Mr. Abrams!" Grenade rounds)

2 Grunts (MP5)

1 APC (MP5 + Grenade rounds)

1 Alien Grunt (Shotgun + "Gravity")

1 Vort (Shotgun)

2 Crabs ("If you don't teach them, they'll never learn" Glock)

1 Crab (.357)

1 Grunt (MP5)

1 Barney ("What the fu-" MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5)

1 Turret (Shotgun)

1 Grunt (MP5)

2 Grunts (Shotgun)

1 APC (RPG)

1 Sniper ("I received a bullet delivery from you by mistake" Grenade)

3 Grunts ("They'll never think to look up!" MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5)

2 Alien Grunts (MP5)

1 Osprey ("Perfect!" MP5 + Rockets)

1 Alien Grunt (Shotgun)

1 Barney ("He didn't even find a camcorder!" Shotgun)

2 Alien Grunts (MP5)

22 Vorts (Mounted .50 Cal)

2 Grunts ("Everybody wins!" MP5)

2 Snarks (Crowbar)

2 Grunts (MP5)

2 Grunts (MP5)

4 Alien Grunts (Howitzer)

1 Vort (MP5)

1 Alien Grunt (MP5 + Shotgun)

2 Grunts (Shotgun)

1 Vort (Shotgun)

1 Alien Grunt (MP5)

1 Grunt (MP5)

6 Grunts (MP5 + Shotgun)

2 Vorts (MP5)

1 Gargantua ("Yes, Good Godzilla!" Aerial Strike)

1 Alien Grunt (MP5)

5 Vorts (Shotgun)

3 Snarks (MP5)

4 Alien Grunts (Shotgun)

1 Alien Grunt (MP5 + 357)

1 Turret (Shotgun)

1 Barnacle ("I'll ask for directions" Shotgun)

1 Barnacle (Shotgun)

1 Crab (Shotgun)

1 Leech (Crowbar)

1 Barnacle (Shotgun)

1 Turret (MP5)

1 Grunt (MP5 + Shotgun)

2 Grunts (MP5)

1 Tank (RPG)

1 Turret ("This is why robots are never gonna rule the world" MP5)

 

Oh, people with too much time on their hands, doot doo doo...

Edited December 20, 2013 by Guest (see edit history)

[Scorpia]

Damn, that's impressive. still hilarious how he can claim self defense on every one of those. XD

 

...

 

Well, save for the roaches, but that's a given. Roaches suck!

[danielsangeo]

I took your list and did some totaling.

 

Alien count (Xenian creatures not counting headcrab zombies): 255

Human count (HECU, black ops "ninjas"): 85

Roaches: 21

Headcrab Zombies: 22

Barney count: 2

Destroyed machines (turrets, helicopters, etc): 5

Freeman count: 1

 

Grand total: 391

 

I didn't count the scientists falling in the elevator at the beginning because that was not Freeman's fault (unless you want to count all the deaths as a result of the resonance cascade as Freeman's fault, but then the number becomes unknowable).

[Humin]

Don't forget the scientist he killed by underestimating his stupidity.

[GordonFreeman]

We should go inter this and make an average killcount per episode or something

[Scorpia]

He averages 8.9 kills per episode.

[Lord Sinister]

The term 'homicidal maniac' becomes more and more appropriate.

[Pinkie Pie]

You should keep a counter of how many kills it is underneath the list, and add to it as well as the list itself.

[Luis]

I had a fun time remembering each kill with a memorable quote. Great job, man!

[iAmaNoob]

You forgot the one he told to run through the surgical unit.

[Alyxx Thorne]

You forgot the one he told to run through the surgical unit.

Not sure if that was Freeman or just the guy's own stupidity...

 

Scientist my ass.

[akira]

does the headcrab that fell off the cliff count? i mean he used a matador tactic to dispose it

[Pinkie Pie]

Nah. He didn't even touch that one. IThat wasn't even in self-defense. That was just bad luck on the headcrab's part.

[danielsangeo]

The headcrab wouldn't have leapt to its death if Freeman wasn't there, though. TORO, MOTHERFUCKER!

[Pinkie Pie]

True. I guess it's how you view it, then. But adding (falling) as cause of death doesn't really implicate Freeman at all.

[LETMEKILL]

I would put it something like this (I'm only counting his weapon kills and I am not counting roaches or leech.) .

 

Episode 1-10

 

-Episode 6

4 Houndeyes

1 Vort

4 Headcrabs

1 Zombie

-Episode 7

1 Bullsquid

-Episode 8

6 Headcrabs

-Episode 9

19 Headcrabs

10 Vorts

1 Barnacle

4 Zombies

-Episode 10

2 Bullsquids

7 Headcrabs

1 Barnacle

3 Zombies

 

Overalls

Houndeyes:4

Vorts:11

Headcrabs:36

Zombies:8

Bullsquids:3

All weapon kills from Episode 1-10:62

[Counter-Strike]

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day...

 

awesome list I had no idea he had this many kills so far.

[SomeTroll]

I fully endorse everything about this thread.

 

Except for this tpyo in my post.

[GordonFreeman]

Update this???

[Riott]

I took your list and did some totaling.

 

Alien count (Xenian creatures not counting headcrab zombies): 255

Human count (HECU, black ops "ninjas"): 85

Roaches: 21

Headcrab Zombies: 22

Barney count: 2

Destroyed machines (turrets, helicopters, etc): 5

Freeman count: 1

 

Grand total: 391

 

I didn't count the scientists falling in the elevator at the beginning because that was not Freeman's fault (unless you want to count all the deaths as a result of the resonance cascade as Freeman's fault, but then the number becomes unknowable).

 

...wait

...you didn't count Barney or Freeman among the humans....

WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT TELLING US!