What is Your Favourite Freeman's Mind Quote/Episode/Moment

[BTGBullseye]

had to have been Episode 2 with the base heads

I believe you mean "bassheads". (yes, it's a word)

[ScottD.Betson]

had to have been Episode 2 with the base heads

I believe you mean "bassheads". (yes, it's a word)

i was trying to be funny with a triple entendre about a slang term for crack cocaine and lil b tha based god and how bassed the music was

[BTGBullseye]

It was totally ineffective, primarily because of a total lack of any punctuation or capitalization, leading to the conclusion that you simply don't know proper spelling as well.

[Selfsurprise]

There's one quote from Ep. 26 that pretty sums up how I feel at work the majority of the time.

 

"You know, some people might argue I'm only focusing on the negative, but I think that's because I can't think of one thing today anyone else has done right. All anyone has been doing today has been breaking things, running around screaming, shooting the wrong people, or dying. I mean, what am I supposed to say to people? "Wow, you sure did a good job falling down that elevator shaft!" Or "Way to lock yourself inside the freezer! I'm so proud of you.""

 

In all honesty I identify with Ross Scott's Freeman to a disturbingly high degree.

[Selfsurprise]

"So these are drugs, right? Only one really fast way of finding out!" [/injects self with plasmid]

 

"Hey, I wanna raise. I just rescued the statue of liberty... Did you hear me? I said THE STATUE OF LI- "

 

"I don't understand. There's no known physics model for this. Unless... OH MY GOD I'M TWO-DIMENSIONAL!!!"

[longliveprose]

Either the Earth's Gravity rant or the Modern Major General song.

[danielsangeo]

Right now:

Fighting a group of headcrabs in Episode 9--

 

OKAY CHILDREN, CLASS IS IN SESSION! EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS! I SAID, "EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS!" DAMMIT, BILLY, THAT MEANS YOU, TOO! TAKE YOUR SEAT! Okay, now today's lesson is on--wait, what am I doing?

[AP_Pastor]

"FUCK YOU FISH! You wanna eat me? I'll give you something to eat. You think I work at Sea World? Giving you free food all day? You're gonna have to pay for this meal. Come on up, I won't hurt you. Come on up. Sucker... YEAH! CALL ME ISHMAEL, BITCH!" - Episode 32

 

"This kinda reminds me that cooking show I saw filmed in the Philippines, where two chefs cook the best meal. And in end, they cut the loser's head off with a sword." - Episode 7

 

"Oh my god. It's a rocket launcher. The perfect gift for the man who has everything. Oh you and I are gonna go places. You are the 1st good i've had all day. Yes, i'll bring your friends" - Episode 44

 

"Nobody's immune to explosives! Is this a god? Am I fighting God?!" - Episode 63

[Remolay]

I always love how increasingly difficult it is to believe that he's killing marines in self defense.

 

"Man, if I get indicted once I leave here, this is getting harder and harder to explain. I don't think anyone's gonna buy a few dozen counts of self-defense with a submachine gun. I think there's kind of an unspoken rule in our society that if this many people are trying to kill you, you're supposed to be dead."

[Dr Pawsworth]

"I HAVE TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!" -Episode 29

 

Gets me every time.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Ambassador Pineapple

 

"To wipe your ass, first orient your hand behind yourself, then move it forward...or backward." Episode 0

 

"Wait! you forgot your bullets! Over here! Take some of mine!" (forget which episode)

[Heliocentrical]

i was trying to be funny with a triple entendre about a slang term for crack cocaine and lil b tha based god and how bassed the music was

 

It was totally ineffective, primarily because of a total lack of any punctuation or capitalization, leading to the conclusion that you simply don't know proper spelling as well.

{"ScottD.Betson uses triple entendre on BTGBullseye"}

{"It's super ineffective"}

 

OT:

"I Guess my cousin Jesse needs a job, if only he wasn't a sex offender it would be so much easier to find something for him." Freeman's Mind: Episode 1

I crack up each time I hear this. It's so bad.

[KOSOGAMP]

• "Do you know what I like about being trapped here compared to other places? I'm not going to immediately die."
  
• "Wow! Lucky that thing doesn't have a fear response. Most animals have that."
  
• "Hey I'm just gonna borrow this gun and I'll give it back I swear I'm good for it you can ask anybody I just need it for a little bit like you wouldn't believe it but there's this big misunderstanding going on I know right and I just have to set the record straight..."
  
• "I can dodge giant crushers, I can't dodge incinerators. I'd need much better reflexes."
  
• "Yep, I blew up the conveyor. Now the district manager has to commit harakiri I guess."

[munchm_]

"This is an illegal gathering of 3 or more [headcrab] freaks."

Guard: "Phew, bet you're glad I had this side arm on me, aren'tcha?"

"You didn't fire a single shot. Are you being serious, sir?"

The way he says it gets me every time.

[AphoticScourge]

OKAY CHILDREN, CLASS IS IN SESSION! EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS! I SAID, "EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS!" DAMMIT, BILLY, THAT MEANS YOU, TOO! TAKE YOUR SEAT! Okay, now today's lesson is on--wait, what am I doing?

Hands down - my favourite part of the whole series. Slapstick is just too funny.

[RMA145]

My favorite is from one of the Xen episodes "DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE AGAIN! DIE MORE!" And "GO BACK TO NOTHING!" Also when he is imitating the mother headcrab thing while he shoots it with rockets.

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

Episode 22:

"It's like the classic debate of why measuring the position of an electron changes its momentum and vice versa. The only correct answer is to get drunk and set fire to things."

[RyanConner360]

I think episode 60 had the best opening, Freeman shoots a scientist first thing.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"HOW DID YOU TURN INTO THREE PEOPLE?!"

[Jeb_CC]

Rewatching the series and ahhh, XD It's soooo goood!

"Man, when I get a mansion, this is exactly what it'll be like. People will knock on the door, the butler will answer the door, blow them away with a shotgun, then close the door."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU CAN'T OPEN THIS FROM THE INSIDE AND IT AUTOMATICALLY SHUTS!? I think there needs to be a sign on the outside that says; "Please prop the door or else you'll die a slow death."

"Yeah, see, this is what I'm talking about. Everything's fine then chirping maggots with legs start popping around the corner."

[Aquillius]

Ahhh...the legendary Freeman's Mind series...I wonder why so many fans seems to have misspelled his quotes alot but I'm not a crazed arsed Grammar Nazi to criticize that, I just find it funny people actually left these quotes incorrect throughout the web.

 

Anyway, here are my favorite quotes from the Amazing Freeman's Mind!

 

-Episode 0: (After listening to the holographic assistant demonstrating...a ladder, it seems!) "To wipe your ass, first orient your hand behind yourself...then move it forward! Or backward...honestly, who doesn't know how to use a ladder? I mean it's a LADDER! Somehow I don't think this program is designed for the gifted..."

 

-Episode 22: (Gordon busy busting out of the power generator room while worms that were snapping him suffocates) "If any of these worms get in my hair, I swear to god, I'm just gonna freak out...yeah, worms get in my hair, the power fails, and all the lights go out, then some old guy with a raspy voice starts laughing and poking me with a stick...that would complete the experience!"

 

-Episode 24: (Gordon tries to puzzle as to why the guard's wasn't telling him the whole story about the tram track until he starts getting to the 'miserable' part) "Of course, the real tragedy here is I didn't bring a camera...if I had been taking pictures, I'd be READY when I had to sit through some family member's slideshow...I can whip it out and be like 'Fuck you, your picture sucks, look at MINE!' 'There's me blowing up some bipedal alien the size of a dump truck' 'There's me shoothing some troops because I'm hardcore!"

 

Surprisingly, every quotes in this series is almost bookworthy...I wonder why there aren't alot of people checking up on something like this.