What if Half-Life was a 1950s/60s Sci-Fi Film Series?

[Space Hunter M]

This crazy idea has been floating around in my head for some time: What if Half-Life was a 1950s science fiction film or adventure serial? Imagine, stop motion animated Gargantuas, costume Vortigaunts with optically added lightning bolts, and some gorgeous matte paintings of the Surface Tension cliff face. Please share your thoughts and ideas!

[Lord Sinister]

Oh God it would be so cheesy!

[Alyxx Thorne]

Doctor Who? Doctor Freeman!

[Chuckthe2nd]

This almost makes me want to make a 50's style fake movie trailer...of Half Life.

[Space Hunter M]

This almost makes me want to make a 50's style fake movie trailer...of Half Life.

You and me both. There would be some kind of cheesy monologue about "meddling too far into the unknown" set to footage of the New Mexico desert and a foreboding musical score. Then, the title card would zoom into place from the horizon, accompanied by an orchestral scare chord.

[Pinkie Pie]

It would suck. No really. For the majority of the movie Gordon would probably be in the lab deducing the logistics of it all with the other scientists. Grunts would show up near the end, cheesy fighting ensues, and then Gordon and other scientists would create some alien killing spray that downs men in monster suits.

[Brad]

Imagine if it was directed by Ed Wood.

 

Couldn't get any cheesier than that.

[Jek Jek Roo]

I have no idea why but The Thing always reminds me of Half Life... and the first Alien movies too.

 

I think it would be cool. Many people would be fans but in such case this forum probably wouldn't exist. How Ross would be able to make Freeman's Mind if Gordon was a movie character?

[Space Hunter M]

I have no idea why but The Thing always reminds me of Half Life...

Not The Thing per say, but Half-Life kinda reminds me of the Quatermass TV serials and movies, especially the second one.

 

I've also made a fake timeline:

 

Half-Life (1958) [b/W/1.33:1 Ratio]

 

Half-Life "II" (1964) [Color/CinemaScope]

 

What do you guys think the second Half-Life film would be like?

"The sequel to the greatest science fiction shocker the world has ever known! Six years in the making!"

[Chuckthe2nd]

It would feature terrible stop-motion striders (a la Star Wars AT-AT), for one thing.

[Space Hunter M]

How much do want to bet a communist allegory would be slapped on the Combine?

[Jek Jek Roo]

Okay, if HL was a movie, what actors would be play in it?

[Chuckthe2nd]

The first game doesn't have that many characters in it...I assume you mean a Half Life 2 movie?

[Pinkie Pie]

Okay, if HL was a movie, what actors would be play in it?

I dunno about you, but I'd pick Burgess Meredith to play ANY of the scientists, not really for any reason other than he's Burgess Meredith.

[Blightmare]

Actually, I'd really like to see one just for how cheesy it'd be. Sure it's gonna be bad, but that won't make it any less amusing.

 

The funny thing is, I can already picture it all, down to the over-acted dialogue.

[Axeldeath]

No, there's already enough "so bad it's good" video game movies around.

[Blightmare]

No, there's already enough "so bad it's good" video game movies around.

Yeah but how many of those are intentional?

[Axeldeath]

No, there's already enough "so bad it's good" video game movies around.

Yeah but how many of those are intentional?

 

But if it was intentional it would make "ironic" jokes.

 

OGODPLZNO.

[Blightmare]

And thus, instant cult classic.

 

People would show up to Midnight showings dressed as characters while making live puns on popular lines.

[Chuckthe2nd]

And at the premiere showings, they would sell little glow-in-the-dark plastic crowbars to the kids.