King of the Hill!

[danielsangeo]

danielsangeo continues strumming his banjo.

 

Why are there so many

Songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?

[Brad]

Brad walks up to danielsangeo.

 

"Hey, that's a nice instrument. I see you're very talented. I'm pretty talented with this Instrument right here. I call it 'Tiny', because for something this small it packs enough of a wallop to kill most big game. At this distance I'm probably not going to miss. I think we know who's going to own this hill. Have a good day sir."

 

danielsangeo makes a smart move and walks away.

[danielsangeo]

danielsangeo returns with another banjo string. Hate when these things snap. He continues to strum the banjo, oblivious to the obvious bluff made by Brad. Once, and only once, he glances at "Tiny" and the weapon disintegrates in Brad's hand.

[Brad]

"Damn, how did he know it wasn't loaded?!" Brad muttered to himself. Brad takes out his own banjo and duels with danielsangeo. Due to his mastery of banjo playing, Daniel gains the upper hand, but Brad wasn't planning on fighting fair, so he chucked his banjo at Daniels head and knocked him out. He quickly locks danielsangeo in a coffin with a woven vibranium lining, and buries him.

[Psychotic Ninja]

While Brad was busy burring Danielsangeo, Psychotic Ninja took that moment to claim the Hill as his.

[danielsangeo]

When all is quiet, Brad can hear a rhythmic strumming of the banjo from within the coffin. True! Nervous. Very very dreadfully nervous Brad is, but why would you say that he is mad? The disease had sharpened his senses, not destroyed--not dulled them. Above all, the sense of hearing acute.

[Epsilon]

Epsilon emerges from the shadows and smothers danielsangeo with a mattress then dismembers his body and hides it under the floorboards.

 

The hill belongs to Epsilon. Again.

[danielsangeo]

And now Epsilon, too, begins to hear the muffled sounds of a banjo, as if it were enveloped in cotton.

[Epsilon]

It grew louder --louder --louder! And still the other conquerors of the Hill chatted pleasantly, and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! --no, no! They heard! --they suspected! --they knew! --they were making a mockery of Epsilon's horror!-this he thought, and this he thinks. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! He could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! He felt that he must scream or die! and now --again! --hark! louder! louder! louder! louder!

 

"Villains!" he shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! --tear up the planks! here, here! --It is the strumming of his hideous banjo!"

 

Epsilon furiously smashes the banjo and buries it with danielsangeo's dismembered body.

[Humin]

Humin wakes up with his brain finally reconstructed. After getting back to his senses in a few hours he realizes he's far away from everyone else, somehow on the wrong hill! The search begins...

[Psychotic Ninja]

Psychotic Ninja wonders why no one has tried to take over the Hill from him, then he turned around to see Epsilon, on the ground yelling something about hideous banjos. Psychotic Ninja then turns to his left, and in the distance he sees Humin walking down a different hill.

[Humin]

Humin finally gets down off the wrong hill and starts scaling the right hill. However, undergoing reconstruction, his muscles are twigs of futility. Halfway up the hill he can no longer proceed and starts banging his head against the hill.

[danielsangeo]

Suddenly, a thin horizontal shaft of light appears at the top of the hill. The horizontal line of blinding white then widens quickly, as if a door was sliding upwards.

 

An unharmed danielsangeo walks out from the blinding rectangle of light. The sudden change in air-pressure by his body entering the area sends all hill inhabitants, including any self-defense structures, flying off the hill and into the neighboring ocean. He adjusts his tie and sets the briefcase he was carrying down. He opens it and produces...a banjo.

 

He sits down on the hill with the banjo.

[Epsilon]

Epsilon calmly comes out of the ocean. He smiles as a horde of voracious landsharks singlemindedly attacks danielsangeo as well as anyone else unfortunate enough to be within their vicinity.

 

Epsilon keeps the landsharks around as pets and once more claims the hill.

[danielsangeo]

"Awww....landsharks. They so cute." He pets them. They snuggle up to him and snooze lightly.

[Humin]

Humin was on the other side of the hill, so he is saved from the voracious sharks that are suckers for banjos. After hitting his head on the hill for the n thousandth time, he remembers that he is rich. He buys a dev console for a jillion dollars for real life and inputs the command "player throwforce 247000000". He grabs the hill and throws it behind him. But due to mass differences he is instead thrown forward to the top of the hill where he lands on a land shark pulverizing it and is now in a duel with the banjo master danielsangeo. Who will win?

[Epsilon]

Epsilon roots for Humin as he duels danielsangeo, then uses the obnoxious scuffle as a distraction to toss both of them into a conveniently placed garbage compactor.

 

Who dares to challenge Epsilon, his conveniently placed garbage compactor, and his Landshark Empire?

Edited June 13, 2012 by Guest (see edit history)

[Brian234]

An old man who has lived near by calls the police complaining about banjo's, explosions, some guy that came out of a beam of light, and land sharks falling from the sky.

Everyone on the hill is arrested and held for trial. The old man then walks to the top of a hill and sits to read a book. It then becomes apparent that this is a disguise and it is actually Brian.

[Humin]

I tell the police that the hill is evidence. They confiscate the hill and Brian is no longer on the hill.

I also use my console and input the following comands: sv_cheats 1; notarget. They ignore me and I can throw myself up to the top of the hill and claim it. But as I throw myself up to the top of the hill I unknowingly drop my console.

[Psychotic Ninja]

As Psychotic Ninja walking towards the Hill to claim it once more, he notices Humin off in the distance, flailing around, and randomly saying to himself "ees vee underscore cheats won semicolon no target." Unsure what that means, Psychotic Ninja ignores Humin and continues to walk towards the Hill. As he's climbing it, he sees someone at the top, reading the book, "who is this man?" ponders Psychotic Ninja. "I've never seen him before. Oh well, someone, who isn't me, is at the top of the Hill must be taken down." As Psychotic Ninja finishes that sentence, he vanishes. Brian puts down 'The Adventures of Captain Underpants' "Oh man, such a good book, I'm shocked I've never found this before." Just then, a shadowy figure appears, scared shitless, Brian, gets up, drops his book, and runs down the Hill crying for his mommy. "Well... That was easier than expected." Psychotic Ninja says as he claims the Hill as his once more.