some help for a musketeer?

[Koach]

im also having some problems regarding a lady. however, the situation is... how can i put it... not normal.

here are the facts: Manu and i know each other since kinder (that being 11 years ago), and we were best friends since then. we did lots of things together, even some weird... experiments... that im not gonna talk about. hell, we even slept together many times (no we never had sex). we both kinda loved each other, but none of us had the courage to say it, though i noticed it in her eyes and behaviour.

2 years ago, she had some big trouble at school. she failed almost 8 subjects and had to repeat the year. she left the school. we kept seeing each other though, untill may 16th, 2010 (her 15th birthday). then she went dark. deleted her facebook, didnt answer any calls/messages/mails, we stopped seeing each other at all. no more contact established between us.

last night, i went to a friend's graduation party, got a little drunk, etc, etc. on the way back home (in a bus, at 6am), one of my buddies told me he saw her back in town, and that she's back in her old house.

now the thing is, as far as i know, things are so fucked up in her life and family im afraid to get involved. this includes:

 

*her brother. despite i used to be his friend, he went nuts. he's got now a psychological disease that makes him rage A LOT. he's even capable of beating up his mother (he did when he forgot to take the pills). it's not his fault, but the guy's dangerous.

 

*her parents got divorced 3 years ago, and there's a lot of tension between them. none of the 3 brothers want to see their dad, who seems to be dating some other woman, and had a baby with her. how does this affect me? the mother keeps talking shit bout this guy in front of her, and she got a little traumatized bout this fact.

 

*her new classmates. moving from a private school to a public one, specially in this country (argentina), is a bad idea. this might be the reason why she deleted her facebook. apparently, she goes to a shitty school, full of "villeros" (meaning people who live in slums, hate rich people and capitalism, are violent, love drugs and alcohol and have fancy hair cuts). this is a problem due to me being kinda high class.... what can i say... my great grandpa was duke of Montone, italy...

 

her traits (at least, she was like this 2 years ago):

 

*a little annoying. sometimes i could not get her to shut up. her voice used to cause headaches.

 

*shy. we both are. i mentioned it above.

 

*loves parties, dancing and, apparently, booze. that's common here.

 

*she changes her humour frequently. she can be happy and a second later she's raging at something.

 

*she's got that look that kills me. at least, i remeber it being... how can i put it... it gets in your head and buggers around with your thoughts so much it could make the worst case of ADHD focus on her for at least 1 day. at least, it did with me.

 

*curious. she used to ask a lot of questions about anything. sometimes questions that were VERY random and off topic.

 

that's about it. i would really appreciate your help, lads and ladies. im posting this cus i trust you, and im sure you'll be able to help me out.

 

thanks in advance.

-Koach

[Batman]

Well its been about a year or 2? See what shes like now, just get to know her again. Ask her how she's been, and tell her about your life. (Even though your already pretty well informed, just play dumb so you can have a good point to start a conversation.) This could lead to reminiscing on the old times, or a good heart-to-heart conversation.

 

How do you plan on seeing her or getting in contact with her?

[Koach]

i had that in mind already. there's gonna be a private graduation party next week, i might give her a call, ask her if she wants to attend and i get her a ticket to go in. then i get to work.

[Luis]

If you were as close as you said, I'm sure she's still got feelings for you, in fact maybe she wants to get close again but she doesn't know how... It seems she has problems and you as her friend should try to help in something, I don't know what but a friend like you is very needed in her circumstances. No se por que carajos escribo en inglés si tu me entiendes. Ya sabes como es ella, la conoces desde siempre, creo que sabes que hacer.

 

Ten en mente que no va a ser facil, su situación es muy delicada y debes prepararte para lo que sea que pueda pasar.

 

Saludos

[Koach]

No se por que carajos escribo en inglés si tu me entiendes.

 

debe ser por costumbre...

 

and yes, her situation is really delicate... 1 mistake could fuck up everything.

[WonSul]

I think I'll repeat the key phrase (imo) from what you wrote

"things are so fucked up in her life and family im afraid to get involved."

[Koach]

indeed i am. however i've got this feeling that tells me to go on.

[WonSul]

Just make sure you understand exactly what your own intentions are before going down the rabbit hole.

 

On a helpful note. You might want to have a back up plan for the graduation party as from what you said, she pretty much changed social circles or something due to school. She may not want to get back into the same social circle. In which case I'd think up 1 or 2 1 on 1 activities that would allow you two to catch up in a comfortable way.

 

Just a thought.

[Luis]

Just make sure you understand exactly what your own intentions are before going down the rabbit hole.

 

On a helpful note. You might want to have a back up plan for the graduation party as from what you said, she pretty much changed social circles or something due to school. She may not want to get back into the same social circle. In which case I'd think up 1 or 2 1 on 1 activities that would allow you two to catch up in a comfortable way.

 

Just a thought.

 

Or just stay with her without the company of anyone else...

[Koach]

"Or just stay with her without the company of anyone else..."

 

^yea that could work. maybe takin her somewhere could help out... maybe...

should i go the normal way (cinema or cofee), the civilized way (theatre) or the queer (meaning strange) way (blind theatre)?

[Collective Foal]

I'd go with coffee or dinner.

[Luis]

I'd do something fun that distracts her from her problems, like go karting, mini golf, zombie killing etc... Then after she's had enough fun you can start talking about stuff or the delicate stuff. This way the date is granted to me more fun and happy than sad, because if you talk a lot right from the beggining I'm pretty sure that's what's gonna happen.

[Koach]

agree with both of ye... you people are really helpful, and i appreciate it. thanks, lads.

[Koach]

ok. i'll make the attempt next friday (this one im going 2 party this friday). hopefully i make it.