Love Problems

[Collective Foal]

Okay, so this is the situation. There's a girl at my school named Phyllis. Drop-dead unbelievably gorgeous. She's about 4 inches taller than me, blonde, etc. But she's kind, independant, a little dark at times, basically everything I could ever ask for. I used to know her in elementary school, but she went to a different middle school. So now, I'm afraid to talk to her because I'm a bit awkward as it is, I feel like I

might come on as creepy, and she always has friends around, so I have to worry about embarrassing myself and people teasing me about it. So I'm hoping one of youz guys (or girls, girls' help would be insanely appreciated) could help me out here, please.

[Psychotic Ninja]

The only advice I can give is be yourself, befriend her first, build that friendship, and if you still liker her/have a crush on her, and you think you're close friends, then ask, worst case scenario she says "no" and you're still friends and the world moves on, well at least that's what happened with me, and we're still great/close friends (maybe even a little closer).

[Batman]

Don't give up, but don't be too persistent. It toke me two tries before I finally start dating this one girl I fancied. If you might have a slight shot go for it, but if she is not at all interested into you just move on.

 

Its highschool, you'll feel some heartbreak, but it gets MUCH BETTER in college.

[Luis]

NEVER GIVE UP! TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

 

Nah, seriously. Don't wait for that ''perfect moment' to approach. Make it. I know this is hard for us shy guys... Just stop giving shit about what other people say, you're not creepy by approaching to her, you're creepy by waiting for her at her front door to give her a picture of yourself in a speedo or collecting her hair to make a life size doll.

 

Psychotic Ninja is right, just be yourself, start building a true friendship. Be there for her when she needs you.. If it happens then great but if it doesn't you just gained a new friend and that is priceless nowadays.

[J.C.]

The only advice I can give is be yourself

This.

 

Also, listen to her (and care about what she says), be always polite and truthful. Remember the little hints, things she likes or dislikes.

 

Good luck.

[Scorpia]

my colleague Luis here is a tad bit off i'm afraid, i mean that hair thing, that got me my third girlfriend. she thought my life-size hair replica of her was fucking Romantic!...all the way up to the restraining order.

 

the following is very blunt, it's effective, just please excuse my uh..word play.

 

seriously though, friend zone sucks but there are ways to avoid it...rule

1. once you're in the friend zone, you ain't getting out.

2. don't be up her ass all the time. don't do stuff that you would do if you were friends with her. a sad but true fact is that if you treat her like a friend early on, it'll stick. we're not looking for a friend here man.

3. this falls into number 2 but be a "restrained douche bag" generally insult her playfully, maybe this is against what you're about, but it's really important that you realize this is simply a bait deal. for some reason that pisses me off women respond to people being dicks to them as meaning "they like me!" in short: you're nice = friend, you're a dick = you're interested. what i mean by "bait deal": you can be your awesome motherfathering self once she's your girlfriend.

4. whatever you do she can not think she's your only option. you basically have to make her think that she ain't the only fish in the sea, this falls into 3 but ignore her for a bit, like make yourself known but don't pay alot of attention to her..

example_

her: oh hey Zack!

you: hey Emily. (her name isn't Emily)

her: i'm Carol...

you: oh, my bad, she's just this..um, it's not important. what's up?

/example

this is manipulative as hell, but it triggers a competitive sorta reaction, women do feel the need to compete with each other, when she hears about this "Emily" person, she won't know it herself, but this will plant a seed of interest, she won't even need to know any Emily, if she thinks she's competing against another woman, she'll go after you. at first she'll most likely shake it off, but as long as that interest is there you can apply some of step 3 until you feel like it's the right time to ask her out.

 

i'm not expecting you to heed my advice, but if nothing else you try works this just might. btw this method doesn't work on everyone. and i may have forgot a few things :/

Btw, i tried that hey Emily thing on some girls, their reaction is...interesting.

 

source: i used to be a womanizer

 

any further advice, please ask.

[Ian]

My best advice is that if you get the friend card, do not enter denial. That was a long year...

[Scorpia]

ugh, tell me about it.

[Batman]

 

seriously though, friend zone sucks but there are ways to avoid it...rule

1. once you're in the friend zone, you ain't getting out.

2. don't be up her ass all the time. don't do stuff that you would do if you were friends with her. a sad but true fact is that if you treat her like a friend early on, it'll stick. we're not looking for a friend here man.

3. this falls into number 2 but be a "restrained douche bag" generally insult her playfully, maybe this is against what you're about, but it's really important that you realize this is simply a bait deal. for some reason, that pisses me off, women respond to people being dicks to them as meaning "they like me!" in short: you're nice = friend, you're a dick = you're interested. what i mean by "bait deal": you can be your awesome motherfathering self once she's your girlfriend.

4. whatever you do she can not think she's your only option. you basically have to make her think that she ain't the only fish in the sea, this falls into 3 but ignore her for a bit, like make yourself known but don't pay alot of attention to her..

 

 

i'm not expecting you to heed my advice, but if nothing else you try works this just might. btw this method doesn't work on everyone. and i may have forgot a few things :/

 

I like dudes now

 

Seriously, listen to this guy (and Ian) ^. STAY OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE!

[Koach]

ludwick seems to know bout this, lad. follow his advice. it worked for me 2 years ago.

 

random comment:

i was in the same situation 2 years ago. BUT, god didnt agree with me. last time we talked was in may 2010, on her 15th birthday. then she vanished....

[Jek Jek Roo]

... and she always has friends around.

 

Oh man, this sucks. Well, I'm not good at giving advices but I think posts above mine are right. It's hard to be yourself, especially if you want to show the girl your best side. Think about her, try to talk with her. Try to say her "Hello" if you see her and smile to her. Not like an idiot, just give her warm and nice smile.

 

Edit: I had similiar situation in previous school. The worst thing was my bloody class. People there ruined everything between me and one guy I used to know in elementary school seven years before. I lost him, only 'cause I thought he is like them. He wasn't. He tried to be nice for me but I wasn't interested. I feel pity for him, but now it doesn't matter any longer.

[Collective Foal]

my colleague Luis here is a tad bit off i'm afraid, i mean that hair thing, that got me my third girlfriend. she thought my life-size hair replica of her was fucking Romantic!...all the way up to the restraining order.

 

the following is very blunt, it's effective, just please excuse my uh..word play.

 

seriously though, friend zone sucks but there are ways to avoid it...rule

1. once you're in the friend zone, you ain't getting out.

2. don't be up her ass all the time. don't do stuff that you would do if you were friends with her. a sad but true fact is that if you treat her like a friend early on, it'll stick. we're not looking for a friend here man.

3. this falls into number 2 but be a "restrained douche bag" generally insult her playfully, maybe this is against what you're about, but it's really important that you realize this is simply a bait deal. for some reason that pisses me off women respond to people being dicks to them as meaning "they like me!" in short: you're nice = friend, you're a dick = you're interested. what i mean by "bait deal": you can be your awesome motherfathering self once she's your girlfriend.

4. whatever you do she can not think she's your only option. you basically have to make her think that she ain't the only fish in the sea, this falls into 3 but ignore her for a bit, like make yourself known but don't pay alot of attention to her..

example_

her: oh hey Zack!

you: hey Emily. (her name isn't Emily)

her: i'm Carol...

you: oh, my bad, she's just this..um, it's not important. what's up?

/example

this is manipulative as hell, but it triggers a competitive sorta reaction, women do feel the need to compete with each other, when she hears about this "Emily" person, she won't know it herself, but this will plant a seed of interest, she won't even need to know any Emily, if she thinks she's competing against another woman, she'll go after you. at first she'll most likely shake it off, but as long as that interest is there you can apply some of step 3 until you feel like it's the right time to ask her out.

 

i'm not expecting you to heed my advice, but if nothing else you try works this just might. btw this method doesn't work on everyone. and i may have forgot a few things :/

Btw, i tried that hey Emily thing on some girls, their reaction is...interesting.

 

source: i used to be a womanizer

 

any further advice, please ask.

 

I can see where you're coming from, and I would give it a try, but there's at least 3 others guys doing the same thing. They tease her a lot (she's a Minnesota sports fan, so they never really run out of material)

 

Problem personally for me is that I CANNOT approach her. That mushy crap you read in whatever romantic novel, is kinda true. I can't bring myself to talk to her. And besides, I can't think of anything to say cuz, let's be honest, I don't have much of a life outside of school, video games, and forums. That's mostly due to location. I can't drive down to main street because I choiced to my school, and Freshman year I fucked up huge (i was uber-immature) so nobody invites me to anything. So I feel socially stranded anyway, then she shows up and makes things 10 times worse.

 

I have poked fun at her before, but considering I've been on a social island for the past 2 years, I have no way of knowing her interests other than sports, so that's the only thing I can ever talk about. So basically, I'm being punished by society for my lack of control when I was 13 and won't be able to get out of the hole until I can drive.

[Koach]

that of being in a social island... i know that feeling, lad.. it sucks... happened the same to me till 1 year ago, when a little bottle of fernet-coke changed it (booze).

 

im not saying you should drink to get rid of it, but try to incorporate other things to your life. for instance, many times (mostly on fridays at 10 am) i invite some 4-5 friends (men and women) to run away from school at midday and go have lunch at, say, mc donalds, then we stay wandering around till 4:30, when we take a bus back to school, so our parents take us home, and they never noticed. you could try something similar....

[Collective Foal]

I don't see her skipping any time soon. She's like top 20 in our class (GPA). I'm trying what Bill said, but it's difficult.

[Very7684]

Make friends with her first, then ask for a private moment and express your feelings for her

[Luis]

Help her in something, I'm pretty sure you have something they don't have and will be interesting for her and start talking while you're doing it...

[Michael Archer]

If she's around her friends a lot, try talking to her not-as-attractive friends. If you're attracted to a girl, chances are you'll stutter like a retard.

 

You should try to talk to her friends, mostly, and keep your conversation with her limited to single sentences. You can try what people in "The Game" do: after talking to her friends and ignoring her, you drop a subtle insult; this makes her subconsciously try to gain a higher standing in your eyes.

 

So yeah: talk to her friends and try to build your relationship from there.

[Collective Foal]

@Luis, yeah, we both want to be Air Force pilots, so that starts conversation, but it's rare. My life is honestly not very interesting. My parents (what geniuses) skipped me up a grade in school. If it weren't for this, I never would've met any of the friends I have now, but I also would have been mature enough for high school. I was ridiculously, stupidly immature my first year, and that got me hated by a lot of people. It took me all of sophomore year to regain my reputation, but nobody cares to invite me to any parties or whatever, and I avoid talking to people who I'm not good friends with because I'm afraid I'll make an idiot out of myself and be back where I started.

 

@Michael, I know one of her friends, but not well. I try to get into conversations from time to time, but I'm so excluded I rarely can. And I HATE dropping even the slightest insult unless I'm provoked. I really just want to be everybody's friend and I can't stand even slightly hurting someone's feelings.

[Koach]

I don't see her skipping any time soon. She's like top 20 in our class (GPA).

 

combine ludwick's ideas with archer's and make the attempt. become friend of her friends, then invite em to run away or do something alike, and ask em if they want her to go as well. to be honest, i did it many times, and its hilarious what happens during those desertions. just make sure nobody you know sees your routing party.

 

dont worry bout hurting her feelings, lad. you wont unless you fuck it up. just don't make it too aggressive, but not too light. its not even necessary to insult her. just a simple

 

 

could make the trick.

 

regarding a conversation with her, have some topics in mind, or simply "mind a hand with this math thing?". that quote worked out really good for me many times, as you normally start a conversation with that, and when you're done with the maths, keep on going with the con.

[Collective Foal]

I know what you mean with the last part. I've noticed that if someone says something, I can keep the conversation going, but I can't start a subject. When I want to think of something to say, even if it's with my closest friends, I draw blanks EVERY TIME.