What would Freeman say in the future? (SPOILERS)

[Michael Archer]

In this thread, write what you think Freeman will say in future episodes! For example,

 

When Eli Vance dies in the end of episode two, I imagine Freeman saying something like, "Man...I'm REALLY not looking forward to giving the eulogy/going to the funeral for this one..."

[DuIstalri]

When Judith mentions that the Combine Portals are String-Based he will probably have a massive rant about string theorists again.

[scott155]

"Look, Mangnusson, I was drunk and I didn't know that putting a microwave casserole in a super-collider would do that. I'm sorry that happened to you, but we got you right-side-out again and everything was fine."

[Michael Archer]

That wouldn't work since he didn't touch the casserole.

 

How about, "Magnusson, you're such a narcissist! That's a terrible name for such an awesome device. I move to call it the Freeman's Annihilator."

[danielsangeo]

The beginning of the Half-Life game is not the beginning of Gordon's employment at Black Mesa. In fact, Ross' Gordon references this by complaining that people have taken stuff out of his locker and that feeling like everything's backwards at the beginning. The casserole could reference a time outside of what happens in "Freeman's Mind".

 

Alyx: "Get in the passenger side, Gordon."

Gordon: "I'm not getting in this thing. You've got a fucking robot here that hasn't even done simple trajectory plotting. What if it throws us down the abyss? What if it smashes us into the side of the Citadel? Look at this; there aren't even any seatbelts. You might trust your life with a bucket of bolts, but I'm not. Can I find another way down? There's no other way down. All right. Taking my life into my own hands...."

[Michael Archer]

That's perfect!

 

When Eli Vance says "M.I.T. graduates are far and few these days." Gordon says, "I know, especially the theoretical physicists. We're all getting killed by aliens and marines. How did you think Stephen Hawking got that way? Let's just say the bullsquid was a superior fighter."

[scott155]

That wouldn't work since he didn't touch the casserole.

I was implying it was a different event entirely, completely non-cannon to the actual Half-Life series.

[Dr. Derpy Hooves Ph.D]

When he sees the Rocket Launcher: Oh, what' thi... *random noises because he can't express his excitement in any other way*

When he gets to the Hydro-electric dam: Oh, is this a way ou... HOLY SH*T

When he finds the gluon gun: Hehe... Look at me... I'm a ghostbuster.

When he enters the portal to Xen: LEEEEERRROOOOYYY JJJJENNNKKINNSSSS!!!

When he sees the other tentacles: "What's in he-" *Sees tentacles* "OH GOD" *GTFOs*

When he sees the Gonarch: SHIT! A GIANT HEADHUGGER WITH A TESTACLE! RUN!

[Cpl Dwayne Hicks]

I'd imagine him at one point or another saying something like this: "Oh, you monkey assed, bloddy turd-brained, ferret faced son of a BITCH!!!"

 

Or, more likely, "Why the fuck can't I drive this goddamn tank?! It would certainly come in handy later. And when I say later, I mean after this is all over and I need to re-establish myself. I could hold up Microsoft, get any chick I wanted, and be the ultimate badass!"

[Jack Noir]

For some reason, I feel like I've heard some of the lines in this thread before.

[Box Tactics]

I'm in the future!

 

[Cyber]

when he meets Nihilanth: "Even I didn't see this coming. a giant talking alien fetus with an antenna stuck up it's ass."

[scott155]

When he meets the Nihilanth (and assuming he's been in the healing pools): Holy shit... this is the LAST time that I drink stuff out of a crater on a foreign planet... probably...

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

*looks at Nihilanth* *terns around* *silently gose behind a rock* aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

[Box Tactics]

*In the midst of Nihilanth battle*

 

*begins singing Mean Green Mother From Outer Space from Little Shop Of Horrors*

[American Bad-Ass!!]

Last night when i was going to sleep i thought of something really funny that Freeman could say:

 

When he gets to Xen.. after a while he could say something like "well.. ok.. let's see if there is any intelligent life form on this planet!".. after that he finds the dead soldiers and goes "nope.. theres is no intelligent life form here.. the have military too.." But then he realizes that they are from the earth so he says something like "Wait! this is OUR military.. fuuuuuccckkkhhh....... but hey! they killed the soldiers like i do! so.. it can't be all bad! i mean.. they MUST be intelligent if they do this.. no as much as i am but.. come on! NO ONE is better than me.."

 

That would be epic.. haha

 

American Bad-Ass!!

[scott155]

After seeing the hunters: "God DAMMIT!!! Why do the bad guys get the awesome robots?!?"

[danielsangeo]

Breen: We now have direct confirmation of a disruptor in our midst, one who has acquired an almost messianic reputation in the minds of certain citizens.

Gordon: That's right. I am God. Kneel before me!

Breen: His figure is synonymous with the darkest urges of instinct, ignorance and decay. Some of the worst excesses of the Black Mesa Incident have been laid directly at his feet.

Gordon: Oh, SURE! It's MY fault. It's just like back at Black Mesa, everything is my fault. Well, you're the one that wanted a conclusive reading of the sample. Screw this, I'm not a patsy.

 

Later...

 

Breen: I'd like to take a moment to address you directly, Dr. Freeman.

Gordon: Oh, shit. Can he see me?

Breen: Yes. I'm talking to you, the so-called One Free Man.

Gordon: Shit, he can see me. Uhhhh...sorry about that back there. I know you were just doing your job. I...screw this. This is all your fault. Once I get out of here, I'm coming for you. Then I'm going to go to the beach. With naked women and beer. Yeah.

[Michael Archer]

Oh man, I thought of something terrible, but totally in character. After Eli gets killed, Freeman says, "So...are we still going out tonight?"

[Pinkie Pie]

But he got knocked unconscious. :/