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2001 - A Space Odyssey

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001

 

The first day of the 21st century.

Noah, a gaur, is born, the first animal of an endangered species to be cloned.

The U.S. Federal Trade Commission approves the merger of America Online and Time Warner to form AOL Time Warner.

Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, launches on the Internet.

The Congressional Budget Office of the United States forecasts a $5,600,000,000,000 budget surplus for the next 10 years.

The NEAR Shoemaker spacecraft touches down in the "saddle" region of 433 Eros, becoming the first spacecraft to land on an asteroid.

The deorbit of Russian space station Mir is carried out near Nadi, Fiji, with Mir falling into the Pacific Ocean.

Soyuz TM-32 lifts off from the Baikonur Cosmodrome, carrying the first space tourist, American Dennis Tito.

A large trans-Neptunian object (28978 Ixion) is found during the Deep Ecliptic Survey.

George W. Bush signs the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001, the first tax cut of a series now known as the Bush tax cuts.

The world's longest train is set up by BHP Iron Ore and is recorded going between Newman and Port Hedland in Western Australia (a distance of 275 km, or 170 miles) and the train consists of 682 loaded iron ore wagons and 8 GE AC6000CW locomotives, giving a gross weight of almost 100,000 tonnes and moves 82,262 tonnes of ore; the train is 7.353 km (4.569 mi) long.

The world's first self-contained artificial heart is implanted in Robert Tools.

The FBI arrests Dmitry Sklyarov at a convention in Las Vegas, Nevada, for violating a provision of the DMCA. (he actually did nothing illegal, and all charges against him and the company he worked for were eventually dismissed)

The 27th G8 summit takes place in Genoa, Italy. Massive demonstrations are held against the meeting by anti-globalisation groups. One demonstrator, Carlo Giuliani, is shot dead by a carabiniere. Several others are badly injured during a police attack on a school used by the protesters as their headquarters.

Windows XP is launched by Microsoft.

The United States, Canada and Israel withdraw from the U.N. Conference on Racism because they feel that the issue of Zionism is overemphasized.

United States v. Microsoft: The United States Justice Department announces that it no longer seeks to break up software maker Microsoft, and will instead seek a lesser antitrust penalty.

Donald Rumsfeld warns of $2,300,000,000,000 of Pentagon spending that cannot be accounted for.

2,997 people are killed in the September 11 attacks at the World Trade Center in New York City, the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia and in rural Shanksville, Pennsylvania after American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175 are hijacked and crash into the World Trade Center's Twin Towers, American Airlines Flight 77 is hijacked and crashes into the Pentagon, and United Airlines Flight 93 is hijacked and crashes into grassland in Shanksville, due to the passengers fighting to regain control of the airplane.

The 2001 anthrax attacks commence as letters containing anthrax spores are mailed from Princeton, New Jersey to ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, the New York Post, and the National Enquirer. 22 in total are exposed; 5 of them die.

U.S. President George W. Bush announces the establishment of the Office of Homeland Security.

War in Afghanistan (2001–present): The United States invades Afghanistan, with participation from other nations.

NASA's Galileo spacecraft passes within 112 miles (180 km) of Jupiter's moon Io.

The iPod is first introduced by Apple.

U.S. President George W. Bush signs the Patriot Act into law.

The Doha Declaration relaxes the grip of international intellectual property law.

The People's Republic of China is admitted to the World Trade Organization after 15 years of negotiations.

In the first such act since World War II, U.S. President George W. Bush signs an executive order allowing military tribunals against any foreigners suspected of having connections to terrorist acts or planned acts against the United States.

Law enforcement raid members of DrinkOrDie in Operation Buccaneer. (and freedom dies just a little bit more)

U.S. President George W. Bush announces the US withdrawal from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty.

The People's Republic of China is granted permanent normal trade status with the United States.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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2004 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004 (in order to fix the problem of it not telling me when there's another post right before mine, I'm posting a quickie, then editing in the meat)

 

International Year of Rice. (by the United Nations)

International Year to Commemorate the Struggle Against Slavery and its Abolition. (by UNESCO)

2004 World Health Day topic was Road Safety. (by World Health Organization)

NASA's MER-A (Spirit) & MER-B (Opportunity) lands on Mars.

A whale explodes in Tainan City, Taiwan, while being transported through the town to a university for a necropsy.

Facebook launches. (and privacy dies)

Scientists in South Korea announce the cloning of 30 human embryos.

NASA announces that the Mars rover MER-B (Opportunity) has confirmed that its landing area was once drenched in water.

The largest expansion of NATO to date takes place, allowing Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia into the organization.

The largest expansion to date of the European Union takes place, extending the Union by 10 member-states: Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary, Malta and Cyprus.

North Korea bans mobile phones.

The first transit of Venus since 1882 occurs; the next one will occur in 2012.

In Mojave, California, SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight.

The U.S.-led coalition occupying Iraq transfers sovereignty to an Iraqi Interim Government.

Preliminary hearings begin in Iraq in the trial of former president Saddam Hussein, for war crimes and crimes against humanity.

The Cassini–Huygens spacecraft arrives at Saturn.

Vatican City gains full membership rights in the United Nations except voting.

NASA's MESSENGER is launched (it is captured into Mercury's orbit on March 18, 2011).

During the Republican National Convention over 1800 individuals were arrested by the authorities in New York, USA. However 90% of those charges were eventually dropped.

In Mojave, California, the first Ansari X-Prize flight takes place of SpaceShipOne, which is competing with a number of spacecraft (including Canada's Da Vinci Project, claimed to be its closest rival) and goes on to win the prize on October 4.

A team of explorers reaches the bottom of Krubera Cave, world's deepest cave. The depth reached is 2,080 meters (6,824 feet), setting a world record.

The Ubuntu operating system is first released.

Brazil successfully launches its first rocket into space.

The Cassini probe passes within 1,200 km of Titan.

The European Space Agency probe Smart 1 passes from Earth orbit into the orbit of the Moon.

NASA's hypersonic Scramjet breaks a record by reaching a velocity of about 7,000 mph in an unmanned experimental flight. It obtains a speed of Mach 9.6, almost 10 times the speed of sound.

The world's tallest bridge, the Millau bridge over the River Tarn in the Massif Central mountains, France, is opened by President Jacques Chirac.

The House of Lords rules that the British Government breaches human rights legislation, by detaining without trial foreign nationals suspected of being terrorists.

One of the worst natural disasters in recorded history hits Southeast Asia, when the strongest earthquake in 40 years, measuring 9.3 on the Richter scale, hits the entire Indian Ocean region, which generates an enormous tsunami that crashes into the coastal areas of a number of nations including Thailand, India, Sri Lanka, the Maldives, Malaysia, Myanmar, Bangladesh, and Indonesia. The official death toll in the affected countries stands at 186,983 while more than 40,000 people are still missing.

Astrophysicists from the Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestrial Physics in Garching near Munich measure the strongest burst from a magnetar. At 21:30:26 UT the earth is hit by a huge wave front of gamma and X-rays. It is the strongest flux of high-energetic gamma radiation measured so far.

The Russian Federation stops recognizing Soviet Union passports as legal identification.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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2006 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006

 

Russia cuts the shipment of natural gas to Ukraine over a price dispute.

NASA's Stardust mission successfully ends, the first to return dust from a comet.

NASA launches the first space mission to Pluto as a rocket hurls the New Horizons spacecraft on a 9-year journey.

Pope Benedict XVI issues his first encycylical, Deus Caritas Est.

The final contact attempt with Pioneer 10 receives no response.

NASA's Cassini–Huygens spacecraft discovers geysers of a liquid substance shooting from Saturn's moon Enceladus, signaling a possible presence of water.

NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter enters Mars orbit.

The United Nations General Assembly votes overwhelmingly to establish the United Nations Human Rights Council.

A scramjet jet engine, Hyshot III, designed to fly at 7 times the speed of sound, is successfully tested at Woomera, South Australia.

The European Space Agency's Venus Express spaceprobe enters Venus' orbit.

Nuclear program of Iran: president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad confirms that Iran has successfully produced a few grams of low-grade enriched uranium.

Iran announces a deal with Russia, involving a joint uranium enrichment firm on Russian soil; 9 days later Iran announces that it will not move all activity to Russia, thus leading to a de facto termination of the deal.

The Human Genome Project publishes the last chromosome sequence, in Nature.

The United States Armed Forces withdraws its forces in Iceland, thereby disbanding the Iceland Defence Force.

2006 Lebanon War: Israeli troops invade Lebanon in response to Hezbollah kidnapping 2 Israeli soldiers and killing 3. Hezbollah declares open war against Israel 2 days later.

Twitter is launched.

A resolution to end the 2006 Lebanon War is unanimously accepted by the United Nations Security Council.

The International Astronomical Union defines 'planet' at its 26th General Assembly, demoting Pluto to the status of 'dwarf planet' more than 70 years after its discovery. (and causing a split amongst astronomers)

North Korea claims to have conducted its first-ever nuclear test.

No. 5, 1948 by Jackson Pollock becomes the most expensive painting after it is sold privately for $140 million.

Mercury transits the sun. It is visible from the Americas, Eastern China, Japan, Australia, and Polynesia.

Swift raids: Homeland Security police detain workers at 6 meatpacking plans in the midwestern U.S.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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2008 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008

 

International Year of Languages.

Cyprus and Malta adopt the euro.

The price of petroleum hits $100 per barrel for the first time.

Russia stages the largest naval exercise since the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991 in the Bay of Biscay. The Russian aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov, along with 11 support vessels and 47 long-range bomber aircraft, practises strike tactics off the coast of France and Spain, and test-launches nuclear-capable missiles in foreign waters.

Iran opens its first space center and launches a rocket into space.

U.S. stock market indices plunge more than 3% after a report shows signs of economic recession in the service sector.

STS-122: Space Shuttle Atlantis launches to deliver the European-built Columbus science laboratory to the International Space Station.

Bridgestone, under investigation for an alleged price-fixing cartel, uncovers improper payments of at least 150 million Japanese yen to foreign governments and withdraws from the marine hose business.

Fidel Castro announces his resignation as President of Cuba, effective February 24.

The United States Navy destroys a spy satellite containing toxic fuel, by shooting it down with a missile launched from the USS Lake Erie in the Pacific Ocean.

A total lunar eclipse crosses North and South America, Europe, Africa, and Southwest Asia.

Former building society Northern Rock is the first bank in Europe to be taken into state control, due to the U.S. subprime mortgage financial crisis. (the USA wasn't the only one to bail out the failing banks)

The first European Space Agency Automated Transfer Vehicle, a cargo spacecraft for the International Space Station, launches from Guiana Space Centre in French Guiana.

British science fiction author, inventor, and futurist, Sir Arthur C. Clarke, dies, aged 90.

An exploding star halfway across the visible universe becomes the farthest known object ever visible to the naked eye.

Surgeons at London's Moorfields Eye Hospital perform the first operations using bionic eyes, implanting them into 2 blind patients.

India sets a world record by sending 10 satellites into orbit in a single launch.

NASA announces the discovery of Supernova remnant G1.9+0.3.

NASA's Phoenix spacecraft becomes the first to land on the northern polar region of Mars.

The Gamma-ray Large Area Space Telescope is launched.

After three decades as the Chairman of Microsoft Corporation, Bill Gates steps down from daily duties to concentrate on philanthropy.

A total eclipse of the Sun is visible from Canada and extends across northern Greenland, the Arctic, central Russia, Mongolia, and China.

The proton beam is circulated for the first time in the Large Hadron Collider, the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, located at CERN, near Geneva, under the Franco-Swiss border.

Lehman Brothers files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, laying the catalyst for the Global financial crisis.

The International Astronomical Union classifies Haumea as the 5th dwarf planet in the Solar System.

Shenzhou 7, the third manned Chinese spaceflight and the first with 3 crew members, is successfully launched. China becomes the third country ever to conduct a spacewalk.

SpaceX Falcon 1 becomes the world's first privately developed space launch vehicle to successfully make orbit.

The DOW loses 777 points, the biggest one-day point decline ever. The drop comes after the House of Representatives votes down a $700 billion bank bailout plan.

Global financial crisis: U.S. President George W. Bush signs the revised Emergency Economic Stabilization Act into law, creating a 700 billion dollar Treasury fund to purchase failing bank assets.

NASA's MESSENGER spacecraft makes its second of three flybys of Mercury, decreasing the velocity for orbital insertion on March 18, 2011.

Symantec acquires PC Tools for $262,000,000.

Global financial crisis: Russia agrees to provide Iceland with a four-billion-euro loan.

The meteoroid 2008 TC3 impacts Earth, becoming the first such object to be discovered prior to impact.

Global financial crisis: Following a major banking and financial crisis in Iceland, the Icelandic Financial Supervisory Authority takes control of the 3 largest banks in the country: Kaupthing Bank, Landsbanki, and Glitnir.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is officially inaugurated. It is a collaboration of over 10,000 scientists and engineers from over 100 countries as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories.

The Indian Space Research Organisation successfully launches the Chandrayaan-1 spacecraft on a lunar exploration mission.

Global financial crisis: Hungary's currency and stock markets rise on the news that it will receive an international economic bailout package worth $25 billion from the IMF, European Union, and World Bank.

Delta Air Lines merges with Northwest Airlines, forming the world's largest commercial carrier.

STS-126: The Space Shuttle Endeavour uses the MPLM Leonardo to deliver experiment and storage racks to the International Space Station (there will be only 3 more launches of Space Shuttle Endeavour after this mission).

A triangular conjunction formed by a new Moon, Venus and Jupiter is a prominent sight in the evening sky.

Bernard Madoff is arrested by U.S. federal authorities on charges of running a massive decades-long Ponzi scheme swindling thousands of investors - the largest financial fraud in history.

The Moon moves into its nearest point to Earth, called perigee, at the same time as its fullest phase of the Lunar Cycle. The Moon appears to be 14% bigger and 30% brighter than the year's other full moons. The next time these two events coincide will be in 2016.

An extra leap second (23:59:60) is added to end the year. The last time this occurred was in 2005.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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2010 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010

 

Psychotic Ninja graduated from High School.

The United States and the United Kingdom close their embassies in Yemen due to the ongoing security threat by Al Qaeda.

The tallest man-made structure to date, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, is officially opened.

The longest annular solar eclipse of the 3rd millennium occurs.

The sculpture L'Homme qui marche I by Alberto Giacometti sells in London for £65 million (US$103.7 million), setting a new world record for a work of art sold at auction.

The Deepwater Horizon oil platform explodes in the Gulf of Mexico, killing 11 workers. The resulting Horizon oil spill, one of the largest in history, spreads for several months, damaging the waters and the United States coastline, and prompting international debate and doubt about the practice and procedures of offshore drilling. (and prompting the intelligent to point out that it could have been a lot less messy if the government had allowed the cleanup to proceed as BP had intended)

Standard & Poor's downgrades Greece's sovereign credit rating to junk 4 days after the activation of a €45-billion EU–IMF bailout, triggering the decline of stock markets worldwide and of the euro's value, and furthering a European sovereign debt crisis.

The eurozone and the International Monetary Fund agree to a €110 billion bailout package for Greece. The package involves sharp Greek austerity measures.

Nude, Green Leaves and Bust by Pablo Picasso sells in New York for US$106.5 million, setting another new world record for a work of art sold at auction.

Scientists conducting the Neanderthal genome project announce that they have sequenced enough of the Neanderthal genome to suggest that Neanderthals and humans may have interbred.

Scientists announced that they have created a functional synthetic genome.

Five paintings worth €100 million are stolen from the Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris.

The first 24-hour flight by a solar-powered plane is completed by the Solar Impulse.

Wikileaks, an online publisher of anonymous, covert, and classified material, leaks to the public over 90,000 internal reports about the United States-led involvement in the War in Afghanistan from 2004 to 2010.

The World Health Organization declares the H1N1 influenza pandemic over, saying worldwide flu activity has returned to typical seasonal patterns. (0.000088962% of the world's population were infected, and 0.029% of those infected died)

The International Space Station surpasses the record for the longest continuous human occupation of space, having been continuously inhabited since November 2, 2000 (3641 days).

Researchers at CERN trap 38 antihydrogen atoms for a sixth of a second, marking the first time in history that humans have trapped antimatter.

Eurozone countries agree to a rescue package for the Republic of Ireland from the European Financial Stability Facility in response to the country's financial crisis.

WikiLeaks releases a collection of more than 250,000 American diplomatic cables, including 100,000 marked "secret" or "confidential".

The European Union agree to an €85 billion rescue deal for Ireland from the European Financial Stability Facility, the International Monetary Fund and bilateral loans from the United Kingdom, Denmark and Sweden.

The first total lunar eclipse to occur on the day of the Northern winter solstice and Southern summer solstice since 1638 takes place.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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2012 - The Apocalypse happened and the world ended in flames. A few genius engineers were able to create a Matrix-like VR machine that slows human perception of time to allow us to live the last few moments as though we were having full lives, but could sadly do nothing to actually prevent our demise.

I have the perfect comeback. A Spaz-12.

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2015 - The universe implodes the third time, and everyone on this forum cease to make jokes.

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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2016 - We celebrate the one year anniversary of hover cars and hover boards.

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2018 - During VALVe's E3 conference, Gabe walks up, says "We have a very special surprise for you", then in the background you can hear GLaDOS saying "deploying surprise in 3, 2, 1" then on the big screen behind Gabe the number 3 pops up. Everyone's cheering for what feels like hours, Gabe's laughing. Then he says "That's right, THREE NEW HATS FOR TEAM FORTRESS TWO!"

Quote

"We don't call them loot boxes", they're 'surprise mechanics'" - EA

 

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2019 - Half-Life 3 is released with no fanfare whatsoever and nobody makes any sort of big deal about it.

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2020 - Technology advances enough to give everyone perfect vision.

I have the perfect comeback. A Spaz-12.

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