Useless Advice

[Humin]

Be me.

 

How can I be more like me?

[BTGBullseye]

Go insane and rule a universe; you can make up your own rules so you can be more like yourself...

 

How to sleep without sleeping?

[Aldibar]

Daydream of sleep!

 

Quick! I can't think of a nonsensical question! HELP!

[Psychotic Ninja]

Think of potatoes stabbing baby naked monkey butts.

 

Help I'm trapped in a small room. What do?

[Humin]

Tell yourself you're not trapped in a small room. Now you are not trapped, but sitting in a small room next to a parrot that won't stop saying penis.

 

How do I get this parrot to shut up?

[BTGBullseye]

A good rotisserie machine will usually shut them up... Especially if you have some glaze/BBQ sauce handy.

 

Hungry but lazy, how do I be less lazy enough to get eats?

[Aldibar]

Use your pyromania and set fire to the world. There's bound to be a perfectly cooked animal nearby after that.

 

My sprite can is empty. It makes me sad. Why is cheese yellow and how do I get out ring around the collar?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Pee yourself in class and blame the dog for eating your homework, which made you laugh so hard you shat yourself silly.

 

Help I am bored, but not hungry, so I was wondering what to do to get hungry.

[Twilight Sparkle]

Go to 4chan.org/b and browse for at least one hour.

 

Math homework is annoying and tedious but I have to do it. What do?

[Pinkie Pie]

Just tell your teacher that you had so much to put but not enough room on the paper, so you just left it blank.

 

I want a robot friend. Help.

[Aldibar]

Go buy some spam and put arms and legs on it then you have a spambot! Makes a great sandwich too.

 

Why is the avatar above me strumming so hard?

[BTGBullseye]

It's not... It's just your imagination telling you to do something... What that something is, we may never know...

 

Why am I sick?

[iAmaNoob]

Because you are sick

 

Am I Captain Obvious?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Well you see, no.

 

 

Help! How do I get people to stop mistaking this for Q&A?

[Aldibar]

Turn it into T&A.

 

What i really want to know is ...

 

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[BTGBullseye]

Pineapple pizza.

 

I like this one girl that doesn't actually exist yet... What's wrong with her, and how can I fix it?

[Humin]

Put your can in the Phonewave (TBA) and set it for 30 seconds. You should now be in world line Omega where the Persians rule the world, technology is 500 years more advanced, and you are royalty with 3 girls that you really like and they, in fact, exist.

You will also no longer be unemployed but you'll be working in a job that you are extremely overqualified for.

Afterthought: There are also no cream logs.

 

How are you going to get yourself out of this job that you are overqualified for?

[Collective Foal]

Eat babies on the job until they're forced to fire me on the grounds of property damage.

 

I'm playing my sax at the NCAA Women's Basketball championships this friday. How do I make sure I don't mess up?

[Aldibar]

Do like beyonce and have a backup track!

 

JI1kq6CA_38

 

 

 

My dog, you can't see him. Put your mouth next to me.

 

Why does beyonce want to punch my neck?

[BTGBullseye]

Why not? Your neck is just so punchable...

 

I need advice on what I'm supposed to do.