Useless Advice

[Psychotic Ninja]

You go to the toilet, pull your pants down, sit on toilet, try to super saiyan and hope for the best.

 

 

Help, I'm trying to make my first mod for HL2, what do?

[Humin]

Incessantly pester MxThe to make it for you.

 

I'm having trouble giving useless advice, what do?

[Different]

Smear your whole body with butter and roll on the ground.

 

i h8 my lif nd evrything what do i do

[Epsilon]

u wot m8

 

How can I increase my IQ after it was devastated due to the incoherence of the above text?

[Woah_G!]

Carefully rekindle the subatomic particles to their once former positions then place your head within the space and time of which you'd find yourself sufficiently vested.

 

 

Fie! Quelm mine indiscrupulous notions of yonder impediment; dost thine needeth impeccable cognized acquisitions during inominate discernation? Since undue visceral participles falter within pre-appositioned avaricious enterprises, yon caveat chimes indoctrinously welcome.

[Humin]

Start using words and not their definitions.

 

TL;DR?

[BTGBullseye]

If you hear something, don't.

[Collective Foal]

My useless advice to you, Bullseye, is to never request advice on the useless advice thread as it keeps the game going.

 

I want to make a few friends I know less ignorant and more accepting of my other friends, who are socially awkward but still kind people.

[St. Goliath]

Reduce the number of said friends, resulting in a relative overall reduction of ignorance and an increase in accecptance.

 

I should get some sleep by now, but for some reason I'm still sitting here. What should I do?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Play this in an endless loop:

 

Qg8vgOe3ISA

 

 

Help some assassins are trying to kill me, what do?

[BTGBullseye]

Try to kill them right back.

 

I want to make a fan quieter, but don't want to turn it off or down... How?

[Collective Foal]

Cover it in sound-proofing foam on all six sides.

 

I don't want to do any homework, but have to do it. How can I satisfy both conditions?

[danielsangeo]

Get a lackey to do it. You do have lackeys, right?

 

How do I get lackeys to do my work for me?

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Go back in time with some high TEC stuff, convince some primitive people your a god and that your taking some of them directly into heaven, take some with you . Done!

 

 

I keep staying up way to much and get about 5 hours of sleep each night, how fix?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Stay up real late and get the full 8 hours of sleep.

 

Help I've traveled through time and now Saturday comes before Sunday, when it should be the other way around, what do?

[BTGBullseye]

Slap yourself until you start to ignore temporal inconsistencies because of the pain, then keep doing it to prevent a recurrence.

 

I want to make a true AI, but I don't know how, what should I do?

[Humin]

Pay someone with an IQ of 300 to make it, then wait about 30 years for the beta version to be released.

 

My mother is dead, my father loathes me, and I am burdened with protecting earth, what do I do to not stab myself in the chest?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Give sandvhich to Earth.

 

 

Help, someone just shot the server with a 12-gauge shotgun, what do?

[St. Goliath]

Contact your system administrator. Tell them that there is a lunatic with a shot gun somewhere in the server room.

 

Help! There is a long queue of people in front of my office who forgot there passwords, somebody is wreaking havoc in the server room and I'm all out of coffe! What should i do?

[Twilight Sparkle]

Activate the fire alarm, that should clear it out.

 

Someone is breaking into my house, what do?