Useless Advice

[Obsidian]

Do a barrel roll!

 

I have to go to work tonight. What should I do?

[J.C.]

Call your boss and suggest you party all night long.

 

I'm getting kind of hungry. Should I get something to eat?

[Obsidian]

Eat some sheep eyes. You'll be filling your stomach with JUSTICE!

 

This forum is addicting. What do?

[J.C.]

Get laid. That usually takes it away from my mind for a couple of hours.

 

I hate summer, and it's just around the corner. How do I keep cool in the scorching heat that is coming?

[saja]

Throw lemons at life's house.

 

When I'm deadly tired (because of long and tiring kung fu training) and have to listen to a boring math lecture I always get scary micro-dreams (or micro nightmares). And I can't resist to fall into them while the lecturer is speaking about determinants and quadratic forms. What should I do?

[Collective Foal]

Let those micro-nightmares transform into full-on night terrors, Pull a large stick out of your bag, jump up on a table and make Native American war cries. Before anybody can run, bash their heads in with said stick. When you're taken to court plead temporary insanity, as you were having a night terror.

 

I want to play TF2 all night tonight, but my sister has to convince my mom to log her computer in because she has the password. I also have to avoid being caught whilst I play. Any suggestions?

[Pinkie Pie]

Tell your mom to give you the password

 

I want to play a game but I don't want to play any games I own and I don't have money to buy new ones, how do I accomplish my desire?

[Koach]

shooting yourself in the bollocks, then crying until a thief comes through the window and gives you a stolen copy of Empire Earth 1

 

i have a problem: my musket's powder got wet and i do not have an extra cartridge. what should i do?

[Collective Foal]

Fire it anyway! What's the worst that could happen?

 

My family is acting insanely bipolar right now and it's kind of creepy. What do?

[Obsidian]

Arm yourself with turkey legs and prepare for battle.

 

I tend to fangasm at a lot of things. How do I stop?

[Brad]

Hate everything

 

I'm thirsty, what di o di?

[Obsidian]

Lick a block of salt.

 

I think something's burning. What do?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Use the fire to make s'mores!

 

 

Help, a dragon appeared from the mountains to the east, and is burning up the town, my shout is charging, and I'm all out of magicka, what do?

[Obsidian]

Summon a white phantom to help you snipe the dragon's tail.

 

DC Universe is taking FOREVER to download. What should I do to kill time?

[Axeldeath]

Be bored, it's all you'll be doing after you get the game anyway.

 

I want to not have fun but everything I do is fun. Halp?

[Obsidian]

Play some DC Universe. Trust me, even free it's not worth the time XD

 

I think my avatar has become self aware. Help!

[Blue]

Ask it to play a game of chess. Winner wins a knife.

 

That plate needs to go down to the kitchen because it's dirty, but I'm too lazy to take it down now.

[Scorpia]

call your mother upstairs, start this long and detailed story about how your cousin "fell asleep inside the closet upside-down with a massive gash on his head" then while she's distracted slide the plate across your room (if you don't have hardwood floors- get them!) that way when she bends down to pick up the plate you can hit her over the head with a lamp! simple.

 

i need to go 235 miles, any way to make it simple?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Lessse, you could use Sprint Shoes, you could also Shout Wuld Nah Kest, or use a flying DeLorean, but make sure not to go over 88 M.P.H.

 

 

Help, I accidentally went back in time, when Hippies roamed the Earth, I have no clue how to get back! Seeing as I'm stuck here, any place to eat?

[Scorpia]

yes, buy some garlic toast from this shady bastard named Franklin. tell him you're still hungry- he gives you unprocessed tuna, then have a war with pool ques and broken bottles over who gets to make-out with this person you later find out gave birth to your mother...

 

how do i make doing the dishes easier?