Useless Advice

[Epsilon]

Begin a quest to conquer the Middle East and claim its oil.

 

A violent tornado is headed directly for me, I'm in a car, and in the road with no ditches around! What do I do?

[Bravetriforcer]

Drive around the tornado in the opposite direction it's spinning.

 

I bought Halo 3 used for $8 and so far the $7 tub of miscellaneous Wonka candy I bought as well feels like the better deal. Please help me give a crap about the characters.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Find mods to transform Halo 3 to look like and feel like the Half Life series.

 

 

I uploaded my first Youtube video, but I'm not getting any views, what do I do?!?!?!

[ProHypster]

View the video 1000 times.

 

Need break from AF, what to do?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Destroy your computer!

 

 

I need to lose weight, what do I do?

[KT]

Eat loads of dust

 

I ran out of bottled water

[Epsilon]

Disregard tap water because that's for losers and drink from the sewer.

 

In Half Life, I ran out of ammo while fighting the Nihilanth. What do I do?

[Bravetriforcer]

Hit it! Hit it with a stick.

 

Epsilon just took my stick, man.

[Husker]

Mourn your stick, it will never return.

 

I miss Applejack's stick, what do I do?

[KT]

Mourn it respectfully and care for it's children

 

I want a stick of my own, what do I do?

[Kirkreng]

Steal one of appeljack's stickchildren.

 

I got arrested for sticknapping, help!

[Pinkie Pie]

Here's a quarter, QUICK PLAY SOME PINBALL!! DOITDOITDOIT!!

 

Aw darn, I just lost a quarter.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Quick! grab a bottle cap, a fine point sharpie (black), a piece of paper, and scissors. Now place the bottle cap on the paper, draw a circle, using the bottle cap as the shape, then cut the circle out, then on one side draw the "heads" and on the other side draw the "tails".

 

 

Quick! I'm loosing internet connection, what do I do?

[Scorpia]

simple, kidnap the guy in charge of the playstation network, hold a banana up to his head, and tell him to get you the best internet available or you'll mess up his hair!

 

how can i raise money for an ipod?

[Blightmare]

Self counterfeit troll dolls to the local blind kids.

 

I really need to get back into shape. What can I do?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Eat lots and lots and lots of cake! Hey, round is a shape...

 

 

Help! I have no money to take my girl on a date, what do I do?

[Axeldeath]

Get some fuck then some shit then some fuck then some shit.

 

You now have a fuck shit stack and no longer require a girlfriend.

 

 

I need to play Skyrim right now, wat do?

[Blightmare]

Write "skyrim" on a sticky note, play oblivion, apply sticky note to screen as needed.

[Scorpia]

simple! take that blank space teach it tetris and tell it to learn English!

 

i want to propose how should i go about it?

[Blightmare]

Hide it in a steak and chuck it at her while driving 90 MPH on a tricycle, while screaming "Will you merry me, motha fucka?!"

 

HALP. I forked up may last poast! WAT DO?!