Useless Advice

[Alyxx Thorne]

 

My PC won't turn off and I can't reach the plug.

[Selous Templar]

Fuck you Jean-Luke, you killed my wife!

 

Use a stick to reach the cord.

 

I am having trouble remembering the Ferengi rules of acquisition, what should I do

[Alyxx Thorne]

Say fuck it and go play on the holodeck.

 

I'm really tired but I don't wanna go to bed.

[Selous Templar]

Play a horror game

Or snort Cocainum: that keeps you awake.

Then listen to Semechki ASMR:

nsPFdxMAG6o

 

Where do I store my Gold Bars of Latinum?

[HGARR]

Under your pillow.

 

How do I stop those kids from comin' on my lawn and makin' trouble?

[Selous Templar]

Build a fence

 

How to I sneak into the Haunted Cathedral and steal the Eye?

[HGARR]

Put a sheet over you and go in saying "WoOoOoOoO", while pointing your arms straight forwards, parralell to each other. This will convince any guards that you are a ghost, and they will run away screaming.

 

How do I get free Mcdonalds?

[Selous Templar]

Cut a carboard box in the shape of a car, so you can get free drive throughs.

 

Where can I find Tracer Tong?

[HGARR]

At your Mum's house.

 

Whats the most efficient method to get a sex partner?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Russian Bride

 

Halp! Kefka's kicking my ass, wut do?

[HGARR]

Spread those asscheecks, and his foot will get stuck in your ass!

 

Help! Help! Theres a giant hornets nest on the wall of my house! How do I remove it?

[Alyxx Thorne]

With your face.

 

I wanna make a sandwich but I'm out of mayo.

[Zaraki]

Find some grill sauce.

 

By the Gods! There's a psychopath on the loose!

[HGARR]

Don't be so intolerant, psychopaths are people too! Go talk to him, he's probably just misunderstood.

 

Where do I buy weed?

[Selous Templar]

In the garden

 

How do I trim the fat?

[Psychotic Ninja]

With a chainsaw.

 

Halp, this kid's bullying me, wut do?

[Selous Templar]

stand and watch

 

Help, I'm trapped in Pavelock Prison, which no one has ever come out of alive, how do I escape?

[Alyxx Thorne]

With duct tape and a swiss knife.

 

How do I make tea without tea?

[Selous Templar]

Take some leaves from a tree and put it in hot water

 

Max Payne is about to bust through my door with murder in his eyes, how do I stop him?

[HGARR]

Show him your copy of his game, that should make him happy.

 

Damn, those alien bastards shot up my ride... what do I do?