Useless Advice

[Psychotic Ninja]

Help! People are starting to run out of problems, what do I do?

[danielsangeo]

Create problems.

 

I don't have anything I need advice on right now. Help!

[BTGBullseye]

Well, if you shove your hand into a running food disposal, I'm sure you'll find SOMETHING you'll need advice with.

 

How can I stop sleeping permanently without dying?

[danielsangeo]

Upload your brain to a machine like Caroline did.

 

When I went to change the thermal paste on my CPU I bought some rubbing alcohol to remove the old paste. It came in a 16 ounce (473ml) bottle. I only used like less than 1% of the bottle and now I have no further need for it. What do I do with it?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Use it as toothpaste.

 

I'm bored, what do?

[AP_Pastor]

Just think of other people who are bored the same time as you are.

 

How do I overcome depression?

[BTGBullseye]

I think the fact that nobody replied in a timely manner was a quite telling response, don't you?

 

I need more sleep that occurs over less total time... Help!

[Binky The Rabbit]

For that...WE NEED TO GO DEEPER!

 

Help, I'm no longer a student!

[Zaraki]

Go learn something else.

 

My deodorant is almost empty.NEED CASH!

[Psychotic Ninja]

Rob a bank, that always helps.

 

 

There are no more banks to rob, what do?

[Binky The Rabbit]

Revel in the anarchy, before rebuilding society.

 

Help, my face is a logical fallacy!

[Zaraki]

Make it more illogical.

 

My cannons are fading away!Requesting support!

[BTGBullseye]

"You can do anything you set your mind to." Is that support enough?

 

How do I get people to quit being idiots about not waiting until the end of the credits to see if there is a snippet promoting the next movie?

[Binky The Rabbit]

Keep the lights dimmed, and have outtakes next to the credits?

 

Help, my kidneys are in a mood with me!

[BTGBullseye]

Ok, now you'll need a very sharp knife, some rubbing alcohol, and a suture kit... First sterilize the knife, and your belly. Then use the knife (not the alcohol or suture kit) and slice open your belly. Next grab ahold of the offending kidney, and yank as hard as you can. It may take a few times, and give a few twinges of pain because it doesn't want to leave, but be vigilant. Once done, sterilize the opening with the rest of the alcohol, and use the suture kit (not the needle or empty alcohol bottle) to sew the sliced open belly together again. VOILA!!! You're kidney, and pain free!

 

I need to stop staying up so late... Help!

[Woah_G!]

Balance everything in your life, for its better to spread yourself thin than to keep all your eggs in one basket.

 

I've accumulated a vast number of books, and i'm running out of space to put them... What do I do?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Plant them in the ground, don't forget to use wateraga and fira on them once a month so that they would grow into healthy bookshelves.

 

 

I'm running low on disk space on my computer, what should I do?

[Woah_G!]

Download moar RAM

 

I've come to an impasse, for I cannot shake this clinging procrastination. Any advice?

[Binky The Rabbit]

Pack bag of essentials, then walk out the door and don't look back until you own Canada.

 

Help, there's a spider on my ceiling and it's refusing to pay rent!

[BTGBullseye]

Tell it you're evicting it. If that doesn't work, just call the cops.

 

I have no hope... What am I doing wrong?