Useless Advice

[Pinkie Pie]

viewtopic.php?f=58&t=2122

 

Why is my computer so hot?

[Humin]

It's not hot. It's drop dead gorgeous!

 

Why do chairs do their job poorly?

[BTGBullseye]

Because butts don't work the way they're supposed to in chairs.

[Pinkie Pie]

How can I continue this game?

[Aldibar]

You just did.

 

Why did the pair of maniacs forget to ask a question?

[BTGBullseye]

Because this is the useless advice thread, not the ask a question and get an answer thread.

 

I could use some help figuring out quantum entanglement, and how it affects life as we know it.

[Humin]

I could use some help figuring out quantum entanglement, and how it affects life as we know it.

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[BTGBullseye]

To fix that, just plug your computer into a more powerful outlet... 480v should do nicely... It'll give it the power it needs to complete the processing.

 

I'm out of cereal and milk... How can I have breakfast without cereal or milk?

[St. Goliath]

Rice and wine, Mr. Freeman. Rice and wine...

[BTGBullseye]

Try that with more enthusiasm.

 

Any more advice?

[Humin]

Don't feed your hamster pickles. BAD THINGS HAPPEN.

 

Anyone have an ipod classic box they don't want anymore?

[BTGBullseye]

I advise against getting one... There's better stuff out there, like new unlocked cell phones.

 

I'm tired but have to babysit, any advice?

[Aldibar]

Have the baby sit on you this time.

 

What can i do NOT lose an hour this weekend even though I have to set my clock forward an hour for daylight savings time?

Edited March 11, 2013 by Guest (see edit history)

[Twilight Sparkle]

Ignore it altogether. Hey you'll still make it to work/school eventually.

 

I need to shower but our washing machine is broken, therefore no clean towels. What do?

[Humin]

Start counting sheep.

 

How do I grow my 32 inch television? Its growth seems to be stunted...

[Pinkie Pie]

Put it in some water and set it on the windowsill by the sun. Wait a couple days, watering if necessary, and soon your television will be a great big beautiful flower!

 

If the sun's not out, then you're shit out of luck, friend.

 

Also, if the sun's not out, then how do I recharge my superpowers?

[danielsangeo]

Water it.

 

I have dry skin that itches. What do?

[Humin]

Use sandpaper.

 

There's a big flower covering the screen. Do I prune it?

[BTGBullseye]

No. It's gotta be there for a reason.

 

Should I die? I keep hearing that I'm supposed to die at some point...

[danielsangeo]

Nah. Be a rebel.

 

I'm immortal and now I've run out of things to do, having done everything possible a billion times over. Now what?