Useless Advice

[BTGBullseye]

Just forget how to not breathe.

 

I need money, any tips on how to get it?

[Pinkie Pie]

Next person you see that has a hat, take it. Just grab it off of his head.

 

How to become giant?

[Psychotic Ninja]

Turn noclip on, then fly to the skybox, when there turn noclip off.

 

 

Help, I'm hungry, I'm too lazy to cook anything, and I don't have enough money to go out, what do?

[BTGBullseye]

Starve to death... Really, it's the best option.

 

I'm bored... Help?

[Psychotic Ninja]

 

 

BTGBullseye ate all the food, what do?

[Aldibar]

Perform the heimlich maneuver and get it back ... then feast!

 

But I might have bronchitis! What if i do?

 

Aint nobody got time for that!

 

bFEoMO0pc7k

[BTGBullseye]

Take an inhaler off a dead asthmatic, and use that until you don't have bronchitis anymore.

 

I can't get the song "Children of the Grave" by Black Sabbath out of my head... How do I make this a bad thing?

[Aldibar]

Run it in your mind in reverse and listen to the backmasking!

 

What if i run out of doritos?

[Scorpia]

You'll see a guy named Phillipe; he knows nothing, he's not important. Whom you're looking for is a guy who looks like Phillipe, but also knows nothing. He's useless too. when you've run into these men, a woman who knows more than both of them combined(which amounts to nothing if you do the math) will make you do a roofing job to earn money for a decent supply of Doritos.

 

How do I afford a lawyer?

[BTGBullseye]

Get one really drunk, then blackmail him with pictures of him being drunk.

 

How to random?

[Doctor Felix Whooves]

Step 1. Find a wall

Step 2. Hit your head agents the wall

Step 3. Repeat step 2 until you can see the sky fish

Step 4. Get drunk get dizzy

Step 5. ???

Step 6. Profit

 

 

 

Help my phone is attracted to me!?! What do?

[Brad]

Opposites attract, so obviously you need to become a phone.

 

Our friendly neighborhood cult is having a block party. what should I bring to the bbq?

[BTGBullseye]

Red Dwarf. (it's a cult classic!)

 

Bored, wanting to watch movies, too lazy to search for them, need help getting movies...

[Aldibar]

Drink Red Bull, find a Red Box, rent Red Sonja.

 

I can't stop checking accursed farms even though nothing is really happening. Is there something wrong with me and if so what do i do about it?

[Humin]

I don't see a problem here.

 

How do I regain my perfect balance?

[Twilight Sparkle]

Strap lead weights to your ankles.

 

How can I get out of going to court without getting into trouble?

[BTGBullseye]

Ingest a large quantity of cyanide.

 

I need money, but I don't currently have the means with which to rob a bank and get away with it... How can I get some cash without legal prosecution or serious legal employment?

[Aldibar]

nbGthv-dJp4

 

I want a cookie but I don't have one. I need immediate help!

[BTGBullseye]

Go to a porn site... You'll get a cookie then.

 

Fun is hard to come by, but shooting and blowing stuff up is really fun, so how can I do more fun without the police interfering?

[Twilight Sparkle]

Plan a trip to Somalia.

 

How can I get more money without doing anything illegal or having a job?