Why is Sex sometimes wrong?

[ProHypster]

Sex before Marriage/love and Open Sex Relationships, it is conceived as a wrong thing to do by most, yet it is not a crime. Everything we understand as wrong is somewhat harmful either to yourself or others, yet sex before marriage/love and open sex relationship doesn't necessary harm anyone except for some people's social norms.

 

Personally I don't see anything wrong in having sexual pleasure with many people if you do not have one love that you promised not to yet. And yet, I am not a sex addict and I don't really have an urge to have sex with somebody else. Simply because I see it as a pretty primitive thing and I have other stuff which I like more then sex

 

So, I am wondering if these are simply wrong because the popular philosophy of the bible says it is or does it have any moral/physical issues behind it. What do you think? Discuss here.

 

EDIT: Thank you doomshepherd, I fixed my bad mistake, google translator sucks!!!! BTG, no need to waste a comment just like that, it gets annoying +rep

Edited September 8, 2011 by Guest (see edit history)

[Doom Shepherd]

That depends on how you define "adultery." I don't think you're using the same definition that the rest of humanity uses.

 

"I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya

 

Adultery is not

having sexual pleasure with many people if you do not have one love that you promised not to yet.

 

Adultery is CONTINUING to have sexual pleasure with many people AFTER you have one love that you promised not to.

 

In that case, it's deception and betrayal. Which I'm pretty sure we agree is bad.

 

Now, if you have one of those "open" marriage / relationships, where your partner has said "It's okay with me if you bang other people," then you're in the clear, because there's no deception. I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as everybody's informed and happy with the situation.

 

It's the lying that makes it wrong, and condemns adulterers to the pits of Gre'thor, where the dishonored go when they die.

[BTGBullseye]

^^^ That. ^^^

[Blue]

Personally I wish to save myself up for my marriage, and would much rather dedicate myself thusly.

 

That way my sexual gratification is much more cautiously spent. Or rather, invested.

[ProHypster]

Personally I wish to save myself up for my marriage, and would much rather dedicate myself thusly.

 

That way my sexual gratification is much more cautiously spent. Or rather, invested.

 

Yes, it can benefit you when you don't have sex before marriage/open marriage sex, I agree, but can you tell me how it can be harmful if you DO do it?

 

My main point is finding out why the bible and many philosophies say it is a sin.... I can understand that it can be wise not to do it but I don't see how it is anything worse then just foolish or silly when you do do it.

[Scorpia]

plus rep to Blue, it's difficult for males to make that commitment, especially with social pressures.

[ProHypster]

plus rep to Blue, it's difficult for males to make that commitment, especially with social pressures.

I'm sorry but LOL... social pressures?...

[Scorpia]

yea social pressures, like in america it's "normal" for a male to lose his virginity at the ages of 14 to 16, if he can't (or chooses not too) he's considered a loser, or a freak, or maybe even "gay". although if you're outspoken about saving yourself for marriage it's not uncommon for people to believe that's an excuse, or a security blanket, for not being able to "get laid". it's extremely fucking annoying, to me, that if a woman loses her virginity at those above ages she might be considered a whore.

 

me, i gave mine to someone i had real feelings for. peer pressure finds it difficult to victimize me...

[Blue]

My main point is finding out why the bible and many philosophies say it is a sin.... I can understand that it can be wise not to do it but I don't see how it is anything worse then just foolish or silly when you do do it.

I cannot speak in any complete authority since I have never been in a serious relationship before. But my understanding of abstinence is that dedication to only one person reinforces the virtues of trust and love (with the presumption that they are things that in the context of matrimony, commonly preceded with the description holy) as things that should not be squandered on flings or expended without much to redeem it beyond memories. Love should be an active experience, something that would be happening, not something that happens and then stops.

 

Additionally, without bringing on the consequences of Love (as in, all the cons that come with the pros) it might encourage irresponsibility those regards.

[ProHypster]

if he can't (or chooses not too) he's considered a loser, or a freak, or maybe even "gay". although if you're outspoken about saving yourself for marriage it's not uncommon for people to believe that's an excuse, or a security blanket, for not being able to "get laid".

 

This is the part that confuses me. If some idiots think that you are a freak or loser or gay why should that force someone to have sex????

I mean we have the same thing here, maybe some guys kid around about not losing virginity, I haven't really seen one that would actually bully someone because of that.... but I still don't get how this can drive people to have sex and lose virginity.

 

 

Blue: But we're talking about way before you even meet love.... you haven't promised her/him anything yet and who the hell knows maybe he/she and you will agree on an open sex relationship. In that case preserving virginity would all be a waste anyway...

 

By the way, I do respect what you are doing, I have nothing against that.

Edited September 9, 2011 by Guest (see edit history)

[Scorpia]

it "forces them" because some just want to be accepted. i don't know how else to explain it...

[ProHypster]

it "forces them" because some just want to be accepted. i don't know how else to explain it...

It's considered a social norm here not to accept other social norms.

Edited September 9, 2011 by Guest (see edit history)

[BTGBullseye]

it "forces them" because some just want to be accepted. i don't know how else to explain it...

 

Peer pressure is the most common cause for crimes in under 18 year olds... How is it laughable that it is also the leading cause for the loss of virginity?

 

I am not susceptible to it, and there are quite a few who aren't, but that doesn't change the fact that it exists and affects most of the world's population.

[ProHypster]

it "forces them" because some just want to be accepted. i don't know how else to explain it...

 

Peer pressure is the most common cause for crimes in under 18 year olds... How is it laughable that it is also the leading cause for the loss of virginity?

 

I am not susceptible to it, and there are quite a few who aren't, but that doesn't change the fact that it exists and affects most of the world's population.

 

I overreacted.... never mind this.

 

It's a stupid thing though, I can say...

[Scorpia]

thanks for editing that "LOL" thing Pro, i didn't want to reply because i hate having my opinions laughed at especially when you ask for it.

 

you wanna laugh at my opinions on Double-standards next? because i honestly hate those too, but it's a different topic sorta thing...

[Blue]

Blue: But we're talking about way before you even meet love.... you haven't promised her/him anything yet and who the hell knows maybe he/she and you will agree on an open sex relationship. In that case preserving virginity would all be a waste anyway...

 

By the way, I do respect what you are doing, I have nothing against that.

Thank you for being so respectful.

 

Since an open sex relationship would have to be consensual, I personally would not consent to that, and do not comprehend why it would be a logical decision to make.

[Axeldeath]

Sex is never wrong. Deception and lying is.

[ProHypster]

Blue: But we're talking about way before you even meet love.... you haven't promised her/him anything yet and who the hell knows maybe he/she and you will agree on an open sex relationship. In that case preserving virginity would all be a waste anyway...

 

By the way, I do respect what you are doing, I have nothing against that.

Thank you for being so respectful.

 

Since an open sex relationship would have to be consensual, I personally would not consent to that, and do not comprehend why it would be a logical decision to make.

 

I wasn't talking personally though I am trying to figure our why many disciplines see this generally as wrong and the bible even as a sin.

[Vapymid]

Wow! Isn't this an amusing discussion?

 

I am trying to figure our why many disciplines see this generally as wrong and the bible even as a sin.

 

Both religion and state exist to control (govern) the population and to acquire control over people you need to control things that are essential to them as living beings - air, food, sex.

 

The air is too abundant on Earth to be controlled effectively so we pass on that...

 

Food was controlled by some religions quite effectively - halal, kosher, various fasts etc.

 

And, of course, sex. The instrument for control over sex was always the marriage. You are only allowed to have sex if it is approved by your religious or civil authorities. To make this effective the disobedience must have been punished - either in this life or the next (as applicable).

 

The Bible is basically an early attempt to codify various rules and regulations which were required for governing the population and, of course, it contains appropriate provisions for food and sex.

 

But that is just one aspect of things - it's not all just some subjective nonsense conceived by evil megalomaniacs to take control over (the then known) world. There were objective reasons and pressures which made this necessary and acceptable to a certain extent.

 

Most obvious examples are principles of food hygiene which form the basis for kosher and halal rules - clearly, in the hot climate of the Middle East and with very basic medical knowledge existing at the time the things like avoiding shellfish and keeping milk and meat separate really do make sense.

 

Equally, the potential social problems and frictions created by unwanted conceptions, questionable paternity and competition for multiple sexual partners would have been very damaging to society when you have no appreciable social mobility, no contraception, no way of preventing STD epidemics etc.

 

The thing is that as the civilization develops and we find ways to solve or avoid such potential problems the need to continue strict enforcement of these rigid rules disappears. Not only people want to live more liberally (they always wanted to, of course) but they can afford it now.

 

Of course, the old institutions are always reactionary to one degree and another and it takes time for them to adapt to new social norms...

 

Having said this, the other aspect of extramarital sex is trust and breach thereof. But Axeldeath has summed it up perfectly already

 

Regards

 

P.S. Sorry for the rant

[ProHypster]

Excellent post, very intelligently formed theories and something to think about.

 

One thing I got to ask you, you keep saying "regards" but you don't put your name or anything there, kind of a weird writing style I must say .

 

Welcome to the forums Vapymid by the way, if you haven't yet, you can introduce yourself at the introduction thread in the free for all section. If I have missed your introduction there I dig myself under sand in shame!