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Kale, sure it's good for you, but it's so bad you can't keep it in you

 

Whats the closest writing device in your home?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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Laptop, tablet, cellphone, and pen + paper are all equidistant at this point in time. All are writing devices. I have an early 1900's typewriter in the garage too...

 

Is your desk messy, cluttered, clean, dirty, organized, or empty?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Coated in crap.

 

Do you like tabletop games?

"Reality has a well-known liberal bias." -Stephen Colbert.

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Yes. Gamemaster for Shadowrun here, but I am just way too good at building characters. I always took a karma nerf of 100 points to put me closer to on-par with the rest of the players when I made my chars. (I also end up making a lot more money than I should be able to, just because I know how to work a GM)

 

Are you stalking me? (if not, why not?)

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Nope. Too busy correcting people who are wrong on the Internet. Including you.

 

Why has no one hired an assassin against me yet?

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Because you aren't worth it... No assassin will work for a burger and $0.75.

 

Why do people try to out-post me when it's obvious they'll never catch up even if I were never to post again? (Alyxx only beat me because of moderator powers and my temporary ban by an idiot domain host [the one Ross buys this domain from])

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Because you just drive that effect of "insane man" and everyone needs to either counter or match it.

 

Why can I not into space?

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Because you are not Wheatley.

 

Why do people use the least impressive internet memes, and shun the most impressive ones?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Because you aren't sleep deprived yet.

 

Why are you trying to out-post me?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Yes, but only when not in uniform.

 

How do you Kℯℯ℘ it ℭlassy?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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You haven't realized in the grand scheme of things the earth isn't worth ruling. Rule the sun, and the earth will follow.

 

I just watched a new movie about vikings going to war while riding dragons, how was this not a metal movie?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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Because the RIAA and MPAA are trying to become one, and they don't like freedom. (rock/metal is all about freedom if you look at it)

 

Why is everything so mediocre?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Because when you got to it, it was hardcore, and has since fallen lower as you adapted to it.

 

Why does the mailbox stalk people?

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Because it is an NSA employee now.

 

Why do I not have any IRL friends nearby?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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Because they got mixed up trying to use the numbers on your location to find homes nearby.

 

Why can't we be friends?

I'm in a good mood... on the internet... better enjoy it while it lasts.

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Because it's too happy of a song.

 

How many games do you have in your Steam Library?

Don't insult me. I have trained professionals to do that.

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