"Corrupt a Wish"

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you are illiterate and everyone else instinctively can type as Blue does.

 

I wish that all negative effect would be on me instead of others.

[Epsilon]

Granted, but you eventually become happy, which is a positive effect (assuming you're not emo or anything).

 

I wish people could use logic in their arguments instead of coercion.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you now lose all arguments due to it being illogical to argue with you.

 

I wish I had a sexy, healthy, loyal, human, female-from-birth, nymphomaniacal girlfriend that would never leave me, or have sex with anyone but me.

[Doom Shepherd]

Granted, however on your fifteenth consecutive sex act your pelvis fractures and you are rendered paralyzed and impotent forever.

 

I wish I was immortal, invincible, omnipotent, and omniscient.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you are now insane.

 

I wish I was even more insane than I am now.

[Scorpia]

granted, but your mind breaks and you slip into a catatonic state.

i wish i had infinite, free cell phone usage.

[Brad]

Granted, but your phone breaks.

 

I wish I could do Parkour effectively.

[Scorpia]

Granted, but all structures suitable for parkour has been secured with magic preventing parkour being done on them.

 

I wish i was a well respected, and legendarily famous author.

[Epsilon]

Granted, but someone grows envious of you and murders you.

 

I wish people could stop seeing Alabamans and Georgians as hillbillies.

[Scorpia]

Granted, but you no longer originate from Georgia, you're from Antarctica now.

 

i wish people made better movies than they do these days.

[Brad]

Granted, but all previous great movies are wiped off the face of the earth.

 

I wish they would make another sequel to MediEvil.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it sucks so much that you never want another to be made.

 

I wish that I was able to download and play DXHR right now.

[Koach]

granted, but your computer will explode as soon as the download hits 99%

 

i wish i could actually put a lead ball in your head 500 yards away with a Brown Bess in real life. would be sweet.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted. You are able to perform such a feat, but every gun that you fire has an explosive breach failure.

 

I wish I could do stuff better than I already can.

[Koach]

granted, but you'll not be able to do anything anymore. that includes doing nothing.

 

i wish i was the best student in my class, but at the same time being the most popular.

 

(wanna see how you people can curse that one )

[BTGBullseye]

Granted. On your finals you get a perfect score, and everyone else fails miserably. You then die, and everyone shows up at your funeral just to spite you. (you just said popular, there is such a thing as being popular in a bad way)

 

I wish the rest of the world would get better.

[J.C.]

Granted, but then a gamma ray burst annihilates all life on Earth.

 

I wish I was a ninja.

[Epsilon]

Granted, but in an accident involving practicing your ninja skills all by yourself in a forest inhabited by gorillas, you fall and shatter both of your legs.

 

I wish Justin Bieber wouldn't try to grow a mustache. I just heard this on TV and it scared me to death.

[Doom Shepherd]

Granted, but he is now growing muttonchops.

 

I wish I could Falcon Punch people over the internet, as well as real life, without incurring any negative consequences.

[Epsilon]

Granted, but it's impossible for there to not be negative consequences in this forum game, lest you incur the wrath of Ye Olde Logic.

 

I wish I could fire my lazor.