"Corrupt a Wish"

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but you can't tell anyone what it is.

 

I wish I was better at drums.

[Woah_G!]

Granted, but you piss off everyone that hears it.

 

I wish I was a better dancer.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but you can no longer remember anything for longer than 5 seconds.

 

I wish time was more forgiving.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, it's more forgiving towards everyone but you.

 

I wish Mighty No. 9 actually was great

[Selfsurprise]

Granted, but now everything in the world that wasn't anime is now anime. Conversely everything that was anime is now a painting by Andre Butzer.

 

I wish I could turn into a giant skull-kraken at will.

[The Signless]

It has been granted, but you will be on the locust's kill list.

 

I wish i become a saiyan, summon every good guy in the Dragon Ball Z universe depends on every time frame, and to ban guns and wars forever on Earth.

[TheTron852]

Granted, but your actions caught attention of various super-powerful aliens, and now all of them want you and your friends dead. Addendum: there are A HELL OF A LOT of them

 

I wish for a turkey sandwich, but without an actual living turkey, without me turning into a turkey, and no other nasty surprises.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, but the turkey's a little dry.

 

I wish my computer was fixed

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

Grabted, but now it can only run Windows 95.

 

I wish my neighbour wasn't such an annoying twat.

[Selfsurprise]

Granted, he dies suddenly and unexpectedly. The guilt and grief drives you an irretrievable descent into madness.

 

I wish I owned an actual flying carpet.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but it's sentient and refuses to let you fly on it because it can't be owned, man. It's its own carpet and don't need no master!

 

I wish my hands didn't hurt whenever I tried to draw.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, now your hands always hurt

 

I wish I always had enough funds for whatever it was I went to buy.

[rairii]

Sure, but it's all in pennies

 

I wish I was beautiful

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, but a friend of yours kills you because they were jealous of your beauty.

 

I wish Drew Carry hosted Whose Line Is It Anyway? again

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but now all the 'contestants' are the Kardashians.

 

I wish that a GOOD Legend of Zelda movie was made, rivaling the likes of Lord of the Rings.

[Selfsurprise]

Granted, but it unleashes a torrent of Rule 34 art and fanfiction the likes of which this world has never bore witness to. This has a profound and overt influence over all media and on the arts industries that over the course of a hundred years society splits into two distinct cultures. The first being a loosely associated caste of normal humans pejoratively called "tektites", the second being a terrifying abhuman elite that mimic the post-hypersexualized cast of the Zelda movie that tyrannically rule over the tektite classes, engaging in all manner of cannibalistic orgiastic atrocities.

 

I wish I could come up with a new thread for the forums every day.

[Zaraki]

Granted,but that thread remains the only one left.

 

I wish chocolate computers existed.

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

Granted, but they melt every time they are turned on.

 

I wish I could jump really high and fall from extreme heights without getting hurt!

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, you jump so high up, you burn up in the atmosphere and die. (Shocked a plane didn't get you first.)

 

 

I wish I was in a successful relationship with the woman of my dreams.

[TheTron852]

Granted, but then you are murdered by a envious fanatic.

 

I wish I could be immune to poisons and poisoning in general.