"Corrupt a Wish"

[Scampi]

Granted, but your knees can no longer bend.

 

I wish I could focus my eyes and zoom in like a telescope.

[Woah_G!]

Granted, but you are now completely colorblind.

 

I wish I could become invisible and visible at will.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but you die from excessive UV radiation damage to every cell in your body when you first go invisible in daylight. (bet you didn't plan on that now did you)

 

I wish money was no object.

[Scampi]

Granted, but now you seem to age much faster than before...

 

I wish I had a gauntlet with taser knuckles.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it only tases you, and you can't remove it.

 

I wish things would happen.

[Woah_G!]

Granted, but they don't; and you die.

 

I wish I had a ring that made me happy when I am sad, and sad when I am happy.

[Scampi]

Granted, but now you are forced to wear it an endure the extremely rapid back-and-forth mood swings it causes.

 

I wish my house was built atop an old mine shaft.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, but your house is now haunted.

 

 

I wish cartoons from the 1930's - 1950's would make a comeback.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, but Michal Bay is directing the revival.

 

I wish my hat dispensed jam.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but the hat adds an extra ingredient - your hair.

 

I wish I could sing better.

[Scampi]

Granted, but this perk only affects you in your least favorite style of signing.

 

I wish mercury was perfectly safe.

[Woah_G!]

Granted, but it no longer exists on earth.

 

I wish my phone battery lasted longer.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but it can only charge from car adapters.

 

I wish I could write catchy songs.

[Scampi]

Granted, but they are now largely despised and so are you as a consequence.

 

I wish I could interface my consciousness with computers in a safe and easy way.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but you're stuck in a 4Chan loop for the rest of eternity.

 

I wish I didn't have to sleep.

[Zaraki]

Granted,but you can't stand sunlight.

 

I wish I had a tail.

[AP_Pastor]

Granted, but it's twice as heavy as your body weight.

 

I wish I can have coffee now.

[Reverend_UshankaCat_]

Granted, but it's boiling hot and will never cool down.

 

I wish this annoying bird would shut up.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but your cat now lives in a perpetual state of purring.

 

I wish my laptop was more powerful.

[Malhek]

Granted, it is now so powerful that the screen produces a light that vaporizes anything in front of it. Its also completely sentient and can redirect its screen towards people.

 

I wish i was a wizard.