"Corrupt a Wish"

[Jeb_CC]

Granted, but every time you shout, someone nearby goes deaf.

 

I wish I was a dragon!

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, you're a komodo dragon, in the crappiest zoo in the world.

 

 

I wish I had my drawing skills back.

[Scampi]

Granted, and you can now draw perfectly in whatever style you want. But you can only utilize this when drawing really cringey and/or obscene requests.

 

I wish for a 3D printer capable of printing in any realistically possible material.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but your printer develops a bug a can only print the face from Munch's 'The Scream'.

 

I wish I could grow a decent beard.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but the rest of your hair falls out. As do your fingernails and toenails.

 

I wish I could find the perfect burrito.

[CaptianMelonhead]

Granted, but it gives you an exploding diarrhea.

 

I wish I lived in the Mass Effect universe.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but you'll never get to make whoopee with Tali

 

I wish I had a Gravity Gun.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted but it never works when you use it.

 

I wish I had a portal gun and long fall boots.

[Scampi]

Granted, but the portal gun leaks subatomic particles that may or may not cause cancer and the long fall boots are only guaranteed to keep you alive, not save your ankles.

 

I wish for a Swiss Army Knife that will always have the tool I need somewhere inside it.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but you'll never be able to find the tool you require when you need it.

 

I wish I could have a pet Lamarr.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it was never defanged, and it eats you.

 

I wish all corruption everywhere would permanently go away.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, but new corruption takes its place.

 

I wish BTG couldn't make loophole wishes anymore.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, the term loophole no longer applies to me or anything I say.

 

I wish people would think about the consequences of their actions.

[Jeb_CC]

Granted, but then they stop thinking about the good of their actions.

 

I wish I was graduated and out of school.

[Scampi]

Granted, but due to unforeseen circumstances, all documented evidence of your graduation vanishes.

 

I wish I could liquefy all samples of cheese around me in a 635 meter radius.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but an unfortunate side effect of the liquefaction is that it all turns into a sea of molten Limburger.

 

I wish my neighbors would observe the quiet hours of 10PM-6AM rule.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but at both 9PM and 6AM there is an hour-long cacophonous orgy from your neighbours.

 

I wish wisdom teeth weren't so troublesome.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, but now all other teeth is worse.

 

 

I wish I could play Final Fantasy 7 for the first time again (I know nothing about the game, and found zero spoilers online and offline).

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it's now the worst game in existence, and you will never know otherwise.

 

I wish there were more good games and movies.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but only you find them to be good - they are universally panned, and no-one will change their mind.

 

I wish I was currently standing up.