"Corrupt a Wish"

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it's only for pinball, and you're deaf, dumb and blind. (look up the movie "Tommy" and listen to the soundtrack by "The Who")

 

I wish I could get a few of my own unvoiced wishes to come true as intended, not corrupted in any way.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but you're already dead.

 

I wish I never have nightmares.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, you never have nightmares since everything that happens while you're awake is a thousand times worse than anything you get in your dreams.

 

I wish that all my enemies were turned into jelly...

 

[ThePest179]

Granted, you turn into jelly.

 

I wish for a medicine that cured anything.

[BTGBullseye]

I said enemies, and I am not my own enemy.

 

Granted, but the side effects occur in 100% of patients, and the only side effect is death.

 

I wish ThePest179 would quit ignoring what is, just so that it will fit with his idea of what it should be.

[ThePest179]

No.

 

I wish politics didn't exist.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it requires the death of everyone over the age of 2 years.

 

I wish the spiders would stay outside of my house.

[ThePest179]

Granted, they are now inside your body.

 

I wish for a kinetic bombardment platform.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, it's already fired at you, and self destructed... You have 5 seconds to live... 4.. 3.. 2..

 

I wish I had more time.

[ThePest179]

Granted, you have one more second.

 

I wish that I had an army of Civil Protection to use.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but soon Gordon Freeman will also exist and then your army won't.

 

I wish I could stop feeling itchy.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, you may now shred away your flesh, and salt what remains.

 

I wish the city would stop having dudes chainsawing down trees at 5 in the morning.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, they're now chainsawing down people at 5 in the morning.

 

 

I wish video games would start to live up to the hype.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, they still all suck, but the hype is all about being the worst game possible.

 

I wish that the ISPs had lots more competition, and an open market instead of their current oligopoly.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, however, none of them get along, and thus block access to opposing ISP's making multiplayer gaming impossible.

 

I wish Billy Mays was still alive.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but now he's ON EVERY CHANNEL 24 HOURS A DAY!

 

I wish I could get more sleep.

[Professor Vex]

Granted, the Internet no longer exists.

 

I wish I could eat bacon everyday.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it costs the same as buying a new car for each slice of bacon.

 

 

I wish I had the ability to debug the coding of the universe, thereby allowing me to be able to do stuff like infinite money hacks.

[Scampi]

Wish granted, but whenever you alter some code, potentially more dangerous bugs inevitably spring up.

 

I wish I had a miniature nuclear reactor in my garage.

[Binky The Rabbit]

Granted, but your pet dog mutates into a warewolf.

 

I wish I had a more powerful voice.