"Corrupt a Wish"

[Seattleite]

Granted. It's 60 degrees kelvin.

 

I wish I had $100.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, sometime in your past you had $100.

 

I wish for moderate fame, and significant fortune for myself, and everyone on this forum.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but now that "moderate fame" is infamy and that "significant fortune" is blood money.

 

I wish I had some Doritos.

[ThePest179]

Granted, they're well past the expiration date though.

 

I wish for a crowbar.

[danielsangeo]

That's okay. There's enough preservatives in those things to mummify a small dog. But, your wish is granted, but it's made of dark matter and, thus, weighs the equivalent of sports stadium.

 

I now wish I hadn't stubbed my toe on my computer table.

[ThePest179]

Granted, you hit your head on the table instead.

 

I wish for my work to be finished right now.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but only because someone else did it to make it look like they hadn't killed you.

 

I wish this feeling would last forever.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but it's pain.

 

I wish for McDonalds.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, a McD's building drops out of the sky killing you.

 

I wish feelings weren't.

[ThePest179]

Granted, you now can't feel anything, emotional or physical.

 

I wish Blue Shift was working for Steam.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, but it still isn't working for you.

 

I wish that "..." wasn't called an ellipsis.

[ThePest179]

Granted, now nobody knows what it is and people start going insane trying to figure it out.

 

I wish Rule 34 didn't exist.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted, it is now rule 1, and rule 34 is missing. All corollaries are still there, but now refer to rule 1.

 

I wish that things would get better.

[ThePest179]

Granted, someone named "Things" is given the word "better".

 

I wish for a pie.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted... It's made of bovine feces, and was shoved into your face.

 

I wish that people everywhere would realize that pizza is a type of pie.

[danielsangeo]

Granted, but everyone on the planet still doesn't care.

 

I wish I could go to sleep.

[Psychotic Ninja]

Granted, you've been given sleep eternal.

 

 

I wish I had a job.

[ThePest179]

Granted, You're working at Freddy Fazbear's pizza, and for $4 an hour.

 

I wish I had a pizza.

[BTGBullseye]

Granted... It's the kind you deliver to the sewer in Borderlands 2...

 

I wish all pain everywhere would go away.

[ThePest179]

Granted, but everyone is dead.

 

I wish I was a wizard.